New Grad Chronicles ~ All falls into place pt 3

So I find myself in a place where I had wanted and desired to be......

But extremely unhappy.

So what does one do when they are unhappy....?

They go to Elvis.

Ok...well...not really....but kinda

I decided I would hang out with one of the girls from the OR.....I figured maybe talking to her would make me more at peace with my decision.....

But signs began to emerge....

When I am nervous.....I begin to crack jokes.  So I saw a tattoo place...I said...HEY!  I can go and get a 'SuperMan' tattoo and put OR on my arm.  heh heh.

And she said....don't do that yet.  You aren't IN yet.

erm. hmm.

There were more questions..... but the other answer that burnt into my brain was.....

Does everyone get along there?  Is there a lot of support?

The answer was.....no girl...you got to watch your back. 

To be fair she also said that the educator was very supportive.....but whoa.

I did not suffer through nursing school.....to watch my back for another 2 years.

My stomach almost dropped out.

I tried to focus on Elvis.  My son and I danced to Proud Mary.  I tried to throw myself into the concert....and forget about the terrible things I had done.  The path I had laid out before my feet.

I *believe* that Jennifer sensed this.  She told me that it was good because you didn't have to clean poo anymore.  And that struck me as well.  Not that I get excited about the 'code browns'.....I don't....but there was something there.

When you are nursing...you have to attend not only to the wounds......but also attend to there dignity.

I have a lot of skills, knowledge and education.  But I can tell you this with all honesty for sure.  My best skill is my compassion and the best thing I have to offer someone is to help them preserve their dignity.  I know this.  This is my superpower.

And I know this.  By accepting the OR job.....I have farked it all up.

And then Elvis (the impersonator) spoke.....

Before I tell you what he said.  Let me tell you tell you what he did....

He was the headlining Elvis Impersonator that night for the Elvis at the Beach event.  I have come to this event for many years.  People of all kinds go crazy for Elvis....yet and still.  My son...is in total love with Elvis.

And there are these folks that I see every year.  Some are in wheelchairs....others with Down's Syndrome.  This Elvis.....reached out and touched their hands.  I was almost nearly worried for this one man in a wheelchair because he was soooo joyful and soooo excited.....positively bursting with a smile and laugh so bright.....I was afraid he would hurt himself.  His happiness was so infectious that all of us at the stage were getting frenzied with him.  And the Elvis......was gracious....and this Elvis....was truly THE KING in my eyes.

And I got teary.....because I realized...as Queen of My Universe....and the nurse I had wanted to be....I had given away my crown.

But God worked thru Elvis and spoke to me......

to be continued......