Nursing School Chronicles ~ the light at the end

I am seeing the tiniest bit of light at the end of the tunnel even though my eyes have been literally swollen shut with tears.  It ain't right....but it is what it is.  I think I am finding a way to get a grip....and I am holding these truths to be self evident....primarily because it sounds important and constitutional and all new to me beginnings must start with a really big statement.

My plan is to chronicle the last of the 23 days.  This experience has easily been in the top 3 of the all time important moments of my life.  So I have to write it down so I can remember what I did, how I got thru it, and as Mufasa says to 'remember who you are' and to discern....who I am not.  (The white trash ghetto queen that some thought...including myself at times...thought I would grow up to be.)

So again.....these are the truths I shol to be self evident for March 26. 2008:

1.  Orange

The theme for today's breakfast is Orange. 

To those who know me or remember who I was before will be shocked at today's breakfast menu.  Having lost my mind in the days previous....I have not planned well.  I have been forgetting to eat.  And that is not good....not bad....but not good for the purpose at hand.  I am a granola girl by nature.....but 7-11 or the local grocery stores normally don't sell tree bark or twig, shoot, root, and wheat berry cereal.  hee (poking fun at self) 

I usually plan ahead for lunches and breakfasts so I don't have to worry about junk overload.  Well with nursing school....in the last few months....all that thought has gone straight out the window.

So I am eating what I have on hand.  Essential Vitamin Water....orange.  Half a bag of crunchy cheetos left over from yesterday from the snax machine.....(i couldn't finish the bag...but i working on that now....and I can multi-task using the orange on my fingers as eye makeup.....JUST KIDDING)...but they are orange.....and a orange....which is thankfully orange because it is kind of old.

2.  State of Mind today:  Oklahoma.  heh heh.  Just kidding in a way.  I say Oklahoma because it is a long word with lots of sounds.  When i think of Oklahoma I think of hot cowboys...and when I think of hot cowboys I think of the rodeo.  For the record....I do NOT think about brokeback anything....this is MY thought.  I have never been to Oklahoma...but I imagine that hot cowboys and rodeo are in a place with wide open spaces a la Dixie Chicks....so. It also has that possibility to get even better like and I can sing happily like that musical Oklahoma!  And it is thanks to that musical I can spell O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A Oklahooooooooma  YEAH!  So....If you ask me what state my mind is in today.  I would say.....Oklahoma. 

3.  2 days til I can sleep:  I have been doing the working 8:00 to midnite-ish thing since Saturday now.  I am super tired so sleeping is my goal.  I will accomplish this goal on Friday.  I have an exit interview for my school that day and work....so after 5.....the time is MINE!  Thank the good lord.  I have a date with my bed, gobs of pillows, 2 comforters, and a heating pad....because I sleep kinky like that.  Activities planned for Friday night include but are not limited to:  snoring lightly, drooling, a reduction in the tossing and turning, burrowing in like a little animal,  sawing logs,  maybe drooling some more, maybe waking up 1 - 2 times to bang on the ceiling and telling my neighbor to stop playing war games or racing car games on the surround sound because it is rattling my windows and scaring me to death and causing horrid dreams, and then I may have to remove my foot from his ass if he ignores my request.....but I anticipate no problems.  If all else fails I will kiss Prince Benadryl goodnite and sleep the sleep of the dead.
can not wait.

4.  If I don't write, I die.

I have noticed that the days I cannot to find my peace and inner sanity (a rare and wild creature) are the days that I don't write.  A lot of people I know in RL and even on some of my articles say....I don't understand where or how you find the time to write.

To that I say....I don't watch TV.  (Well I do watch Naruto but I DVR it and watch it at my conveince)  I don't go to movies.  I haven't been to the gym.  I need an outlet.  This is my outlet.  *gets up on soap box and the patriotic music starts*

I don't care if YOU don't like to read it.  Just don't read it.

I don't care if it is not Shakespeare though I do freak out when I misspell something.

I don't care what you think about me doing my writing.  It is not something that takes me hours to do.  15 mins tops.

You do you and let me do me.  I think that is a rap song.  But damn if it isn't true.  Wise words....give that man a medal.  In 8 words that man has convinced me he is a sage. It is officially my credo for the day.

So I write.  And I will keep writing.  And I will love it. And complain to yourself if you don't like it.

You do you and let me do me.

Writing is my therapy.  A lot cheaper and the hours are better for me. 

Anyhoo.  These are my thoughts of the day.