Is suicide an option?

Marsha my brother committed suicide in 1992. He was going through drug rehab and a divorce. He died of a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. This was at Christmas time. I have felt guilty for not being there for him. I was so busy shopping.

I have never considered this option, even on my worst days. I think that people who do this are in such pain they don't even think about what happens to those left behind. There is always a way to make things better...sometimes medication, sometimes just time.

I am blessed with a positive attitude (some of us are born this way, while others are born with the tendancy toward a more negative world view), so I have never seriously considered suicide. However, I have great compassion for those who have, and I think you are way ahead of the "game" in that you recognize this in you, and you are dealing with it. That's good! I read somewhere that statistics have shown that in the majority of cases the situations or circumstances that so overwhelmed the person who commited suicide changed or went away within three weeks of their death - in other words, if they could have just held on, things were going to improve or change. I don't know if there was any real scientific research that went in to that finding, but my own sense, as a pastor, has been that it's generally true.

Scarry, I have never thought of this as a option to solving problems. Eventually all things pass, good and bad. Hang in there life is much to much worth living to contemplate something like this. :)

I'm sorry for your pain. I have dealt with a difficult deep depression. When I considered suicide I did think of my loved ones. I knew they would go through pain, but in my head I thought it would be better for them in the long run, if I wasn't around. I considered long and hard how much it would affect them. When you are very depressed you aren't really thinking rationally. Everything becomes so hard to rationalize. I hope you have someone to talk to about your depression. It's hard to tell people. Most people don't even know you are going through deep troubles. For anyone who thinks they should've seen the signs, there are many times there aren't any. You become an expert at hiding your pain. I too turned to my Heavenly Father. He helped me more than words can explain. It took a long time and several prayers offered to get out of that pit. I take medication now and am grateful for it. I never want to be in that spot again. Good Luck to you. I don't think suicide is a great option. Unfortunately for some they go down that road so far that it seems impossible to ever see the light again. We're here for you. :0)

I could never consider suicide. I am far too vain for that. I have though lost friends to such desperation. I could not then and I can not understand anything being so awful that they needed to take their own lives. I can not imagine feeling that alone.

Lori, I am very sorry to hear that you lost your brother that way. But you should not take on any guilt. You were just doing the ordinary things of life. You can't possibly be aware of what is going on inside of anyone else's mind at any given time. I know that many people do feel guilt, but only in very rare instances is it justified.

Sue, I believe that to get to that point you have to be at the end of your rope in more than one aspect of your life. You just can't see a way out. But as Jimmie pointed out, many of the issues that seem insurmountable, sometimes have unexpected solutiions, or can be solved with the help of others.

A lot of times people feel they SHOULD be able to handle whatever is going on in their lives, but feel that they CAN'T. Shame at not being able to cope as others do is a large part of the problem.

Krissy you're funny! I've heard other people say that!! "What...and deprive the world of ME??? It's great to have good self-esteem! Sounds like you do.

I don't think it's always that they feel alone, they just get tired of feeling needy, and unable to cope.

There was a time about 8 years ago, when my family went homeless. I was working but my step-daughter gave our landlord the money without a receipt. It was his word against ours and with no receipt we lost. My husband had recently left us and I felt better off dead. Luckily, this bleak and heavy depression came to pass, but I am daily bombarded by obstacles which seem unsurmountable and still wonder if I should really be here. (Thanks to the Social Security Administration I get this at least once a year when they provide me of numerical proof that at least monetarily I am worth more dead than alive! Thanks SSA!)

But I always pull myself out, and I know that this brief feeling will pass, especially when I realize that although the rest of the world may not care about me, my children not only need me, but love me and would be lost without me if I were to leave them in any way, natural or self-inflicted!

I think that most people who follow through on this do not fully realize the consequences of their actions. They are so far down and a helping hand may not be there to pull them up. So for one brief moment, they succumb. Unfortunately this course of action usually does not provide a second chance, so the people they leave behind are left to deal with the damage.

Good luck to you and keep that stubborn streak strong! I know I will do the same. Life has its ups and downs, and there is always a break in the clouds, even if it is only for one brief shinning moment!

I've had at least one weak point in my life. With the help of friends, prayer, and my will, I pulled through it. I don't believe suicide is the answer at all. Although, I personally do not feel that, it's right for me to pass judgement on someone who has, because I don't know just how bad things really were for them. I just hope, we can as a people help those who feel that life has got to hard to carry on./

I believe that someone that commits suicide is a coward. All they do is leave behind grief and sadness for family and friends.

I personally would never commit suicide. Like Shannon said, they just leave behind grief and sadness. You should read my articles on Pain, depression/anxiety and mental health month. I have writen 3 separate article on these subjects just a few days ago. Many people who are depressed commit suicide.

Charles, I'm glad you chose life, and it sounds as if you are sensitive to others. Who knows, you may be the one person who will be there when someone else needs you, and you will be able to respond because you have felt the same way and gotten past it!

Shannon, my Mom shot herself in front of me, and although I couldn't possibly think of her as a coward, I do find myself wondering what all was on her miind. How could she leave two young daughters? What was her inner torment? It must have been severe, because with my bi-polar and depression, I have at times felt very low, but I am obviously still here, and have long term goals.

Connie I have spent the majority of my life in one degree of depression or another. I have seen doctors and taken meds. I have prayed to be free of depression. And sometimes I am! Today, I felt great. It was beautiful, the sky was blue, plants are growing, just two more Final exams, my kids are healthy and doing well, my dogs love me! I mean life isn't fantastic, I REALLY need a summer job, but life is great. I'd hate to be dead right now!!

I lost my only child of 16 to suicide in 2002...I witnessed the gunshot. Nightmare.

Carol, the loss of a child has been my number one fear since I became a mother 37 years ago. I believe it would be the most difficult loss a person could suffer. You have survived with this loss for six long years. God bless you. You, too, must be a strong person. I hope you've had a lot of support.

As I teen I attempted suicide. Until I was in a supportive and stable relationship, it was always in my head. Now as a mother I fear for my children being genetically disposed to the same tendacies. I lost my sister to suicide a few years back, since then I finally talked to a dr. and started meds. It is not a solution to my issues, but it helps me to cope. Lately I have been batteling the same demons, and it scares me. I have started a support group on Gather for those who battle depression or know someone who is or did.

I'm so sorry Marsha, I didn't know. I knew you said your mother had died. My sister-in-law Patty committed suicide in 2001.

I've got chills reading through all of these comments. I'm so sorry for all the pain you've witnessed and endured. I'm wondering how do you find the strength? I could cry just thinking about it.

My nephew hung himself 10 years ago. And a very dear friend of mine, someone who I admired and respected greatly shot and killed himself this past January.

Anxiety/Panic clouded me. I fell into a major depression. I went through so many emotions and thoughts in such a short time. Mostly anger and sadness that I allowed myself to feel. The extreme panic was certainly unwelcome.

Oddly enough, I've learned some valuable lessons from his passing. And I really wish he was here to share them with.

As for my nephew -- We buried him on Feb. 12. That night, two days earlier than expected, I gave birth to my only son. The only child of my four to be born early.

Ahh, that's all I can write for now ... prayers to all of you. Life can be hell on earth sometimes, but if you ask for forgiveness and have faith, all you have to do is make each step forward an honest one. It will pave the way for a beautiful journey. Pain is a part of life. It helps us to appreciate the joys we experience.

**sigh** You are never truly alone.

There's always us here on Gather. ;)

Thank you for your comments on this, Chris. I feel badly that you have had to go through this.
It sounds as if you have an inner strength that has helped you to deal with these tragedies.
And you're right, if we don't want to be alone, there is always SOMEONE we can reach out to!
Bless you and have a wonderful Easter!

My husband committed suicide over 3 years ago. It was totally devastating for our family as well as our extended family. I still have mixed emotions about it. I've only felt anger when he's not there for our children's big events in their lives. Mostly I feel great sadness that I did not see how hurting he was. It breaks my heart just thinking about how he must have felt. What I can say is that when you are hurting and depressed the best thing to do is to reach out to others even though it's the last thing you want to do. I got that from a recent book I'm reading by Neale Donald Walsch called When Everything Changes, Change Everything.

I have considered this option.. but in the end, i felt too weak on a different level to fully go through with it. i guess everyones different.. i hate bringing people and friends down to my level.. i would not dare wish it on even an enemy of mine.
I always felt people were disappointed in me.. I also realised now that it should not be an option.. it actually does not solve anything. A girl i knew recently took this option, and it just brought all the sadness right back... its really a piy no one could help her..