Mothering Our Babies

Every mom has her own mothering style. There are those who choose an attachment parenting style and there are those who choose a more scheduled mothering style like that promoted in the Baby Wise books. I have found from experience that every mother will fiercly defend her particular style as being 'right', and 'the best'. I think I agree most of the time. I believe that there is not really a right or wrong way to mother an infant as long as they are getting lots of love, attention, sleep, and the proper nutrition. I think much of the time the baby's preferences and personality play a big role in which style is chosen because babies do respond better to one way or the other, or a some variant of the two extremes. My own mothering style has differed greatly with my two children, who are only 17 months apart, because of this. What works with one doesn't always work with another.

Comments: 6

Kathleen G. Sep 7, 2006, 8:42am EDT

I agree with you 100%. Different kids need different things. But mothers don't tend to get a lot of praise for the work they do. There's no way to tell if they are "doing a good job." I think this is why, when a mother picks a parenting style, she might get defensive about it. Because she wants to think she is doing the right thing. Defensiveness is routed in uncertainty.
But as long as kids are safe, well fed, and nurtured, they will be fine.

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Mary G. Sep 8, 2006, 9:09pm EDT

ITA! I have no idea what my style is, but my kid stays out of trouble, gets good grades, is kind and friendly, and has many more great attributes, so I would say I am doing a good job.

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Amy just hangin' out M. Sep 9, 2006, 9:35am EDT

I agree as well. Every child is different and there is no single "right" way to raise kids. I figure as long as my kids are productive members of society and not in jail or worse when they grow up, then I will have done my job.

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Nic P. Sep 9, 2006, 11:47am EDT

I agree everyone is different. In regard to Babywise? I would encourage you all to find out more about these authors before buying any of their books.

I would caution ANYONE before walking any steps in their direction. Their later parenting books instruct you to spank your children with a belt like item.

Please reconsider. Be BETTER than that. =)

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Jennifer N. Sep 22, 2006, 2:21am EDT

Like you noted earlier Melissa. Each child has their own personality and thus needs to match it. No one way is right for every mother or every child. I'd read these articles as perhaps a guideline, but listen to your instincts whether or not you try what they suggest.

Nicole that's just astonishing that they would promote something like that.

I rarely spank my son. We save that for danger he gets into to make it stand out in his mind that he needs to listen to this vs the way we discipline him for daily mischief.

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Mothering Our Babies

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