Infertility

I think it's hard to say what *you* would do unless *you* are in the position. I know many couples who have suffered through infertility - some have gone on to have children, and some haven't.

I guess it depends on what their age and health situation is like. And it's their choice so supporting my friends would be my decision. If it was me... I guess I'd keep trying until all hope was gone as long as it didnt ruin my health.

I agree with what everyone else has said here.

There are children and teenagers out there that need parents. Why not try adopting. Maybe that is what they are intended to do. I know that having children is a blessing but what if not to make more children, but to take care of some that have already been made and need love too.

I would say just listen and be a friend. Even if they go to extremes that you wouldnt. You dont know what its like until you walk a mile in someone elses shoes. Amorita also makes a good point. Maybe find a way to gently bring adoption topic up.

I have only one daughter and I consider myself blessed. I love all the children of the world equally. I think I will have adopted, in case I couldn't have had a child
thank you for this interesting question.

Karen - a really strange thing... that has anecdotally been reinforced in my own life. When I was struggling to have a child and failing miserably, a woman in my church directed me to volunteer for the nursery and work there every Sunday. I told her that was cruel, because my empty arms ached enough already. She told me that there was something about holding babies that made women more fertile, and that if I did it regularly, I'd get pregnant. (Jimmy is 8 - there are other things that contributed to his conception, but none were medical in nature).

My cousin tried for almost twenty years to get pregnant. Fertility treatments failed and she was declared infertile. She was married to an older man and became a step-grandma. Within a year of becoming a step-grandma and spending all that time with the grandbabies... she got pregnant.

Don't ask me why... but the older woman at the church - may have had some wisdom that we haven't ever had the medical community find tangible enough to recommend???

I have been in this position, and I agree that you don't know what you would do unless you have been there. We tried for 7 years to have a child, and then we adopted. Of course, 16 months later I was pregnant. So, actually it took me 9 years to get pregnant. I had many tests, took fertility drugs (I got pregnant when I wasn't taking them) and had shots monthly for a few years. I took my temperature every day for what seemed like forever. I watched my friends all have children, and look at me with pity...afraid to tell me they were having another baby. I saw my sister get pregnant when she didn't want to be, and she offered to let me be in the room so I could share the experience (I didn't do so). It is a deep and terrible pain, and I think that doing whatever you feel comfortable doing and can afford to do to have a child is well worth it.

Well , My husband and I tried for 11 years, we had one son who was not exactly planned, but after we got married we decided we wanted more.
We spent 11 agonizing years, but we couldn't afford the other options. Finally, as our son entered middle school we were talking and we decided enough was enough. We had heard of a 2 siblings who were older (6&8) who needed a home, and we decided we could be that home.
To make a long story short, the kids grandparents deided they wanted them and we were still OK with only having 1 child.
Four months later my husband got sick and went to the ER. There he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Within 2 months they had his blood sugar under control, and within 4 I was pregnant. Once we got it started we had trouble turning it off! LOL
Within a 2 1/2 year span i gave birth to 3 healthy beautiful babies!
Was it his blood sugar out of control causing it for all those years??? I don't know, but that's what i think!
That, and just becasue it seems God doesn't answer, doesn't mean he isn't listening!
Good Luck !

I easily had two children, so this hard for me to comment on. I think my husband and I would not have gone through artificial insemmination if shots had failed. I know the adoption route can be very difficult, but I think we would have gone this way.

I can't speak from experience on infertility as I was a "fertile myrtle" -- three kids in 30 months. However, I have seen what my brothers went through. The oldest and his wife tried the traditional method and then opted to adopt. Shortly thereafter she got pregnant. And then had a second baby. Then got word from the adoption agency there was a baby for them.

My next brother and his first wife tried for years and couldn't get pregnant. His second wife came with 3 nieces and nephew that they ended up adopting.

The third brother had a child with his first wife, but the second wife couldn't get pregnant. They tried fertility drugs and even a couple of rounds of in vitro, but nothing worked. They also adopted.

My fourth brother is gay but desperately wanted children. He considered adopting and surrogate parenting. In the end, however, he decided as he was meant for single parenting. His business keeps him travelling a lot of the time, both in and out of the country, and he didn't feel that he could give the child the time needed.

So all of this goes to show it just depends on the individuals and how desperately they want children.

I think it is a very private decision that can only be made by the parties involved and their families and friends should support their decision.

It is just amazing what our medical accomplishments have become! I say, if you decide to go through all of that then full speed ahead. But not many will consider adoption and that is sad.

I have one son and no problem getting pregnant and plan on a second. My girlfriend was not so lucky. She had to go through all the shots and procedures for about 5 years. First, they thought it was him, then they found out it was her eggs. They went through several invitros and 2-3 egg donors before she finally had a successful procedure and her baby in November of last year. Hearing all the money they paid and all that she went through, I don't think I would have done it. Just be there for your friends that are going through this whole thing. They just want their own child.