10 Baby myths revealed!

 

Hello again to all of my Gather friends! 

I'm always on the look out for any additional baby advice, and I ran across a great article on www.huggieshappybaby.com that I thought some of you might like to read. The author of the article is Lisa A. Goldstein and even though I have 3 boys of my own, I learned a few things from reading this. 

~ Faith B. 
 

                                                    10 Baby Myths Revealed

While you're deciding whether to listen to your mom, mother-in-law or your neighbor - all of whom are doling out advice about parenting - take a look at these 10 baby myths revealed. Perhaps it'll help enlighten you on whether to trust your sources.

1. If you don't hold/nurse your baby in the first few hours after delivery, you won't bond adequately.

According to Debra Gilbert Rosenberg, social worker, psychotherapist and author who is a motherhood and parenting expert, this is one of the many myths that suggest that there is only one chance to do things right as a mother.

"Although research has shown that the first few hours of a baby's life are important, your relationship with your baby lasts a lifetime," Rosenberg says. She says that women who have had C-sections, have babies who are born needing immediate medical interventions or have adopted need not be so hard on themselves. A loving relationship over the child's lifetime will more than make up for those missing few hours or even days or weeks of separation.

2. Babies' cries are always distinguishable.

Rosenberg says this isn't the case every time. It doesn't make you a bad mom if you can't fix every problem. You and your baby need to get to know one another, and that takes time, she says.

3. Newborn babies just eat and sleep all the time.

OK, they do eat and sleep a lot, but in between the eating and sleeping, they have a lot to do, says Janet Doman, director of The Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential, a nonprofit organization that serves children with brain injuries and well children. "Newborn babies are not the happy little bundles that we like to imagine that they are. Instead they are very intent human beings struggling against very difficult circumstances to overcome blindness, deafness and immobility. At birth, a baby is functionally blind, deaf, insensate and immobile. The sensory and motor pathways grow and develop based upon stimulation."

4. Breastfeeding is easy.

The reality is that breastfeeding isn't always easy. Even though breastfeeding is medically best for most babies, it's not always possible, Rosenberg says. Some babies are allergic, or some mothers have medical reasons prohibiting them from breastfeeding. "Breastfeeding is a skill that a new mother and her baby need to learn to do well," Rosenberg says. There's also help in the form of lactation consultants and others.

5. A baby's development is predetermined based on fixed milestones.

There is no preset alarm clock that determines when a baby will gain a new ability, Doman says. New abilities are determined by stimulation and opportunity. "The sensory pathways grow when appropriate visual, auditory and tactile stimulation is given with the proper frequency, intensity and duration," she says.

For example, a newborn baby usually has a less than perfect light reflex. This light reflex is seen when the baby is exposed to light and the pupil constricts in response to that light. The sooner this reflex matures and becomes consistent, the sooner that baby will develop the ability to see outline and then detail. Both of these abilities allow the baby to see Mother's face and begin to make sense of the visual world.

"In most babies, this reflex is stimulated by accident whenever the baby is taken from darkness to light," Doman says. "But mother can arrange for that 'accident' to happen with greater frequency and intensity so that the visual pathway grows more quickly in response to the enhanced stimulation. This is very easy to do and requires very little time, but it means that the baby gains the ability to see detail weeks or months earlier than he would have done if we had relied upon 'accidental stimulation.'"

6. It is good stimulation for the baby to have a playpen, jumper, walker, etc.

These devices actually prevent the baby from learning how to move and explore the world, Doman says. When the baby is given the opportunity to be on his belly on the floor, he will move. But too often the baby is placed in a high chair, backpack, playpen, baby seat or walker. "The baby should be free to move on his belly as much as possible, and confined, bundled up or restricted as little as possible," Doman says.

7. It is good to talk "baby talk" to the baby.

Adults should always use the very best language and vocabulary when talking to the baby, says Doman. Each day the baby's understanding grows in leaps and bounds. "Baby talk is essentially disrespectful of the intellectual ability of the tiny baby," she says. "The baby has the right to hear his native tongue spoken properly, not in a degraded fashion that the baby will have to unlearn later."

8. Babies have a short attention span.

Babies have superb attention, interest and enthusiasm for everything in the environment. They pay attention to 10 things at once instead of focusing on one thing at a time like adults do, Doman says. This is one reason why they learn so quickly. "They may not pay attention to what we want them to pay attention to, and this may be frustrating to us," she says. "We would do better to find out what interests the baby and pay more attention to that with the baby."

9. Babies cannot talk.

The baby is actually trying to communicate almost all the time. It isn't easy because the baby can't make sounds that we adults understand as words. As a result, Doman says, we often assume the sounds he makes are meaningless. "The sounds the baby makes are not like language," she says. "They are language. All sounds are language. The baby does not waste his breath. Always listen to your baby. Be willing to wait for a response. Accept the fact that the baby decides whether to respond or not; it is his choice. Respond to what he says. Welcome enthusiastically every effort the baby makes to talk. It is vital for the baby to know that Mother knows that he is talking."

10. Learning begins in school.

"Learning begins at birth or before," Doman says. "The brain grows explosively between conception and age 6. Learning is actually an inverse function of age - the younger the baby is, the faster he will learn ... his happiness, health and general well-being are also significantly improved by stimulation and opportunity."

 

Parents are the Answer

If you're frustrated with parenthood, take heart: The myth that parents are the problem is decidedly not true. If anything, parents are the answer. Being a mother or father is the most important profession in the world, says Janet Doman. "Parents know their own child better than anyone else," she says. "Parents should never compromise or allow themselves to be bullied into doing anything they do not understand or with which they do not agree."