by Stephanie, proud Maw-Maw to my 2 granddaughters, G
Member since:
September 3, 2006

A question about child abuse...please help me here!

December 08, 2006 10:30 PM EST
views: 65 | comments: 35

OK my friend, Lucy lives next door to her brother Mike. Mike is living with the mother of his child,Susan, who is also his step daughter who he raised since she was 2. This child is only 16 and has already birthed two kids by Mike. Well part of his probation is that Mike be nowhere's near Lucy or any children without an adult around. This is issue #1.

Issue # 2 gets a little more complex. Mike and Susan live in an old trailer. Now the old part of the trailer is not the problem, the condition of the trailer is. Two of the windows are busted out with no sort of boards to block the wind, rain of mosquitoes. And I mean busted out with jagged edges of glass sticking out all around. The front door also doesn't close all of the way, much less lock. The trailer is maybe 20 feet from the road. At one time the trailer had no electricity and Susan is in the house all day with that one boy who's about 2 1/2 years old. The second child, a little girl, died of SIDS at about 3 months old. I am beginning to wonder about the SIDS diagnosis.

SO about mid summer, I took myself to the darn Child services office and made an anonimous complaint about what I had been told by Lucy and seen with my own eyes. Well it was investigated and the cops showed up in the night, took Mike to jail, and handed the boy over to Lucy (the baby girl wasn't born yet). Mike was told not to live with Susan again, but this being the great state of Louisiana and our social workers are overworked as it is, this was not followed up.

I was at lucy's house yesterday, the house still has two busted windows, with the jagged glass, the door still doesn't shut. I know the boy was in the bathroom window, today Susan was in the bathroom window when I drove up at Lucy's.

My question to ya'll is what the heck am I suppose to do? If I go and recomplain Mike, who is not a nice man, will definitely know who reported him. Even if the child services say they are there for a revisit, Mike will figure it out that the child services is only following up because I have been at lucy's within the last three days.

Please help,
Stephanie

 

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Comments: 35

Mariana T. Dec 8, 2006, 10:38pm EST
Stephanie - this is complicated but also - and you know where I'm from - typical. Please try once again to drop an anonymous note to the child protective services so that they know what is going on. They should be following up anyway so he won't be suspicious and think it's you. This is the epitomy of disfunction...those kids need help. I wish I could think of some more ideas. Maybe someone else can think of what you should do. I'll keep thinking. In the meantime, maybe try to talk Lucy into doing a little bit more about the situation since she's a relative. You're a good person for trying to help. Salud,
Larry H. Dec 8, 2006, 10:47pm EST
Is there shelter that could that the girl and child in and care for them.. Seem like there would be.. something..
The baby girl died of sids, but it makes me wonder what she really died of. I know that Susan has been a mom since she was 14. Her own mother wants nothing to do with her or the surviving child because of the fact that the daughter took her husband away...remember we are in Louisiana.
Lucy won't get involved because of Mike's mean streak. She has tried, but it doesn't work, it never does.
shauna a. Dec 8, 2006, 11:04pm EST
tough call hon. it is never easy to take kids away from their parents. but in some cases it has to be done. i dont know what all this fruitcake guy has done, but maybe dropping another note would help. one every week until they check into it. call them. harrass them to get them to help these kids.
Mr. Larry, unfortunately this parish only has a shelter for abused or pregnant women, which she will never claim abuse, although she is being sexually abused by her older lover.
And as far as I know she's not pregnant, but for the little girl, she gave birth at home and never saw a dr througout the whole pregnancy.
Debra H. Dec 8, 2006, 11:05pm EST
Have you considered calling the probation department? If it is part of his probation to stay away his PO may violate him and send him to jail for a longer time and once they see the living conditions they may contact CPS themselves.
William M. Dec 8, 2006, 11:05pm EST
They need help bad. You need to do something.
Joy this being the state of Louisiana, complaints about child abuse are not followed unless a viable name is given. According to the agencies if the report is ficticious, they will prosecute who made the report, yet this is going on for months now, so please tell me where is the justice.
Debra good idea, I will do that on monday, although Susan and the boy are going to be left homeless with no one to help her out. I forgot to say that Susan is slower with the thinking process than most girls her age, but that can be because of all the abuse, she just keeps her feelings to herself.
Really a sad situation.
Debra H. Dec 8, 2006, 11:14pm EST
If she is underage CPS will have to provide for her and the boy, also maybe you could help get her in contact with agencies in your area that would help with food, shelter, etc., they won't just be tossed to the streets.
OK I will go to probation and parole first thing monday morning. I am beginning to wonder if they are living in the bathroom only because it's two days in a row that I drive up there and both times mom and son are in the bathroom. That window is not busted, so maybe it's for warmth or maybe it just so happens that she is bathing him at those times.
If Mike would just board up those two busted windows, I might be ok with it when he would fix the door...I am at a total loss here, and that's a first for me because i always have an opinion and not afraid to use it...LOL
Kathleen ♥ L. Dec 8, 2006, 11:29pm EST
What a horrible situation and how generous of you to try and help these children out!
What is the legal age of consent in La and how old is Susan?
If the rat is picked up for parole violation would Lucy be willing to take Susan and her child in until they can find a safe home for themselves? Also, what about Code Compliance? If the house is in as bad shape as you say, perhaps the local 'Code Compliance' office needs to be contacted as well. That is if there is such a thing in your Parish; If not try the Health Dept.
Good luck, what ever you do!
Cheryl W. Dec 8, 2006, 11:33pm EST
As someone who has worked for several years with abused and neglected children, my advice to you would be to make another call and report...even if you must do it from a different phone, zip code, or whatever. The children are the number one priority, and how horrible it would be to find out a month from now that something really terrible had happened to one of them. And this sounds like a disaster just waiting to happen.
CANDY k. Dec 8, 2006, 11:49pm EST
When it comes to children being abused I am not a nice person either, I wouldn't care what Mike knows, he doesn't need to be aroud children, and it is obvious that he has brow beat his girlfriend, because she has done nothing about him raping her minor daughter.

What is the statue of limitations on rape In Louisiana? This like something for the Jerry Springer Show. I feel so sorry for the family.
Mariana T. Dec 9, 2006, 12:29am EST
Stephanie - I wish I could do more to help you but right now I am having some big time problems of my own down in La. and can't stir the ants. I'm not there anymore but wish you could recruit someone in the police department to help you. I know what you mean about the bureacracy - been there and done that. I've had dogs taken away from abusive owners and it's taken many many phone calls and yes, I was afraid someone would find out but they never did. You're doing great to get ideas from various folks. All the best of luck and I'll keep thinking. SAlud,
Regardless of what the Great State of Louisiana says, the federal law mandates that anonymous tips are acceptable, and encouraged in child abuse or neglect cases.

If you are not comfortable with them going back right away, and you do not feel the child is in immediate danger, wait a few more days, but call them again.

If you don't, and something happens to the remaining child, you'll feel bad about it, that you didn't take the chance to do anything about it.
Susan *. Dec 9, 2006, 12:52am EST
call the police department and leave a complaint there about unsafe living conditions, children yelling, anything that they might follow up on that you know is happening there. When they do a call they will notice that the place is a mess and call it in to see if there is a record on the place. They will then find out that Mike is not to be there, that he is to stay away from Susan and that something is wrong. If all goes according to plan, THEY will call child protective services for you and it will be on their head and not on yours! Give them a call...they have to follow up especially if it has to do with the safety of a child.
Michelle R. Dec 9, 2006, 1:59am EST
Absolutely write a letter to CPS; this will put some time between your visit and theirs. Also write every other responsible party you can think of, Local ministers and media jump quickly to mind. You don't have to sign or include a return address on anything, but, I think, you need to focus as many eyes on that trailer as you possibly can.
David Ball-Romney Dec 9, 2006, 11:58am EST
Did CPS say that there would be no follow-up?

If not, how will they know that it's not just CPS following up?
If so, you should complain about the person who decided to not do what was needed.
Kathryn E. Dec 9, 2006, 3:48pm EST
Difficult situation, it seems that Mariana and Cheryl and others have good advice.
Kathryn E. Dec 9, 2006, 3:49pm EST
Difficult situation, it seems that Mariana and Cheryl and others have good advice.
Susan is almost in a child like state herself. I have only been around her a couple of times, but the 2 1/2 year old boy, seems to have more sense, more smarts, more something than her. It's almost as though he is the parent. It's strange.
He is a very bad child from what I have been told, but I did keep that boy once and my dh and I had no problem with him.
CPS would have to step in because she's not old enough to care for a child on her own, if I am not mistaken her highest grade level is 5th grade.
Kathleen, I don't know code compliance in this area, usually if the house is safe, no matter the conditions, i.e. junk on the floor, garbage overflowing the house is found safe. Now the legal age of consent here is 18 I imagine, but anything with more than a 2 year and 364 day age gap is considered to be staturtory rape, which is why I don't understand what the hell is going on.
I have the education it would take to be a child protective worker, but I would be in jail so many times behind stupid people, that my own family would strave.
Cheryl, I had lost touch with Lucy for several months, so I figured this problem was already resolved. If something was to happen to either mother or child, heads would roll within this parish cuz I would make calls like you wouldn't believe, but this state is famous for playing the "pass the buck" game when it comes to taking the responsibility for the people who slip through the cracks.
Candy, I would have to pull out my law codes, but I think that the statute of limitations in La is 7 years for forcible rape, maybe it's longer than that. I will check.
thanks for that vote of confidence Mariana.

Heather, I didn't know it was federal law that unanimious tips had to be accepted. I know in the past, when I reported this situation a few months ago, summertime I guess, they wouldn't take the report unless I gave a confirmable name and number and I went to the office and sat face to face with the worker.
No Candace, I don't have a relationship with the mom and the kids, in fact I only know them through Lucy. I know lucy will not step up to the plate to help out of fear of Mike and that susan might try to do to Lucy's son what was done to her. I am stuck here.
Thanks candace for the prayers, please keep praying. I am going to see what can be done by lucy with susan, but I don't wait for anything to change.
thanks michelle for those helpful hints, I don't know any of the local ministries in that area, but I will visit the church come monday and see what trees I can shake...

David according to CPS the children, both mom and son would be removed. No one at the time knew that the pregnancy for the second child was even an option during my last involvement.
robin nothing was said about anything, about the future of him or his sex slave or the boy. I don't know anything else and this is driving me nuts. OUr temps in the area last night were 24 degrees. Ok so say the boy sleeps beside both parents for warmth at night, how can you sleep in 24 degree weather in a trailer with windows busted out.
Amanda "middle of nowhere" C. Dec 9, 2006, 7:36pm EST
This breaks my heart. We have some trailers not too far from here that match this description. Everyone always puts out blankets and stuff around that area in case the people living there need them. I don't have any advice for you. In TN, it takes almost an act of congress to have children removed. This situation will be in my prayers. You're a good person for caring.
Thanks for offering up the help, at least I know I am not the only one in my predicament.
Dee W. Dec 9, 2006, 8:12pm EST
Stephanie, call child services and tell them that if they do not appropriately address this and make sure it stays addressed that you are sure that you can find a news reporter who will be happy to make this girl and her child's lives a human interest feature on the 6:00 news, along with interviews with child services to find out why they have not intervened in these horrible circumstances in the cold, dreary days before Christmas. This would be a great "in the manger" type story on a slow news day.
Someone else had also suggested to call our local news station. I am going to CPS on monday and I do not plan on being very nice about the situation or taking the words "but" or "No" as part of an explanation.
I thought this had been long resolved since I hadn't seen Lucy in awhile, but dumb me there I go expecting the same results with the govt from this state as other states offer thier residents.
Alta B. Feb 13, 2008, 9:07pm EST
It really is a tough decision. However; you have to ask yourself how you would feel if something happened.

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