On Romance... First Chapters Contest Thoughts

As I look over the field of entries for this round of the First Chapters Contest, several things come to mind.

First of all, congratulations on completing a novel! It’s a great thing to finally type THE END, isn’t it? You are to be commended for having the stick-to-it-iveness for finishing.

Second, Bravo for submitting your work and putting it “out there” for others to read!

Third, if you are writing Romance and haven’t yet joined Romance Writers of America (RWA), the national organization for Romance writers, http://www.rwanational.org/you are doing yourself a disservice. In my years with RWA (currently as chapter president), my writing has gone from “It’s a good idea and the writing’s there, but you need to cut the first twenty pages” to award-winning, an offer of agent representation and having manuscripts on full submission with publishers, as well as being a writing contest coordinator and judge.

Like any other artisan, writers need their tools. While the drive, determination and imagination necessary to be a writer cannot be learned, Craft can. I applaud everyone who has put forth their story for this contest, but Be Prepared. If your craft isn’t in place, readers will know.

Gather has some very knowledgeable readers.

Romance novels in 2K aren’t the same Romance novels from the 70s, yet Romance is still fighting the “bodice-ripper” image. Those novels fulfilled the consciousness of that generation, but these days, society/readers want strong heroines. No sit-back-and-let-the-story-happen-to-them types, but heroines who go after what they want, stand firm for something, are, at core, a “good” person. Yes, they can be “bad girls” but every heroine – and hero for that matter – needs a solid, admirable base from which to grow.

So, throw your prejudices aside from “your mother’s romance novels” and look at today’s writing. There are many subgenres inside the umbrella of Romance – romantic suspense, historical, paranormal, inspirational, contemporary…and all the sub-genres beneath those. 

And forget about formulaic. As with any genre you pick up, you will (or should) get what you expect. Mystery? You want the villain caught at the end. Thriller? You want action, adventure, bite-your-nails-type reading. Historical? Honest representation of the time period. Fantasy? World building to make you feel like you are there. Romance? You get your happy ending and want to enjoy the ride getting there.          

So what types of things should you be aware of as you’re writing and/or critiquing these entries? 

Hook – Does the author intrigue you with the opening line(s)? Talk to editors and agents and see how many manuscripts are in their “slush” piles. Hundreds. I’ve heard of stacks lining hallways. Guess what, folks? You’ve got about 3 seconds to hook ’em. Is that opening line intriguing? Does it make them want to read on? Is it original or are you starting out with a cliché? Does your setting description need to be the opener? Does your main character reflect upon their life, look in the mirror, do an “info dump” on what you feel the reader needs to know? Do you start with backstory – the story behind what we’re reading?

All of this pulls the reader out, makes them go, “eh…” and move on to the next manuscript. I know of one reviewer (at least) during this contest who is giving the entry about 3 lines and then he/she is moving on. If you don’t grab her/him, forget it – no 10 for you. This is a real life application. 

Sentence Structure, Grammar, Spelling – I can’t tell you how many contests I’ve judged where I couldn’t read the entry for the simple fact of spelling. Run Spell Check! Sentence Structure – Vary this. If you do ten three-line sentences in a row, it hurts the pacing of the story. It bores the reader. White space on a page is very inviting to a reader. Use it by having dialogue, shorter descriptions. Make your word choice reflect the emotion of the scene. Is it a tense, hostage situation and your heroine/hero is the negotiator? Describe the scene with staccato sentences. Harsh, brutal words, foul language. Have their actions mimic what they’re feeling. A hostage negotiator isn’t going to notice the gentle fluttering of a butterfly’s wings over the just-blooming, sweet-scented honeysuckle on the wind. He/she is going to smack the damn bug out of the way. 

People use sentence fragments. They cut each other off, they “um” and “huh.” They blurt out thoughts: “What the--!” Learn the difference between the m-dash and ellipses.  

Style/Voice – Today’s writing is not as flowery, especially in Romance where language in the past tended toward the “purple prose.” The “Voice” is the way the author tells the story. Does it read smoothly? Is the sentence structure varied? Correct punctuation, grammar and word choice? Over-use of adverbs and/or adjectives?  

Adverbs - (“ly” words) Try to write the sentence without using them. “Sally looked at Jonathan longingly.” Try this in Sally’s POV: “Jonathan’s shoulders were too big to fit through the doorway, at least, it always seemed like that any time he entered a room. What would it be like to have him hold her in those arms? God, she wanted to find out.” 

Adjectives - Sometimes less is more and sometimes the opposite is true. Use them with the most impact, not to let us know that the dress is a pink, chiffon, below-the-knee, A-line, with a daring slit high on her well-toned tanned thigh. 

POV – Point Of View. This is who’s narrating the scene. One of the best descriptions I’ve heard for writing POV is to think of your character as a camera lens. That character can only narrate the scene by what he/she sees in their lens. By its very definition then, when you are writing in Character A’s POV, you shouldn’t need sentences that contain, “Character A watched” or “Character A realized” or “Character A thought,” etc. because we are reading what they saw, realized or thought. 

One of my pet peeves is, if the narrating character doesn’t notice something or doesn’t see something, he/she can’t comment on it.  

Telling vs. Showing: See Ken’s article about words to be avoided. Basically, if you tell us what you want us to see, you aren’t showing us. Mary looked at the barn. It was faded blue with paint chipping off the roofline, reminding her of all she’d lost. If this scene is in Mary’s POV, then for her to describe the barn, she obviously had to look at it. Romance, especially, needs to be evocative, tug on the reader’s emotions. Telling doesn’t have that capacity. Showing does. The barn stood testament to all their efforts. The peeling paint had seen a good six years. That lopsided roof had been their project when they’d first bought the place--back when they’d been young and had the energy. Now what the hell was she supposed to do? She was no longer part of a “they” and Dan’s death had sucked the energy out of her.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977076646  

Dialogue Tags – This goes along with POV and Telling vs. Showing. If you develop your character’s voice enough we shouldn’t need dialogue tags (he said, she argued, he yelled, they muttered, etc.). Julia Quinn is a master of dialogue and I’d highly recommend picking up her books. She’s developed her characters’ voices so well, it’s easy to determine which of the 8 Bridgerton siblings is speaking when they all get together.  

I love reading well-done Voice in a scene with two characters – no dialogue tags are necessary in many cases. It’s a give-and-take conversation and the characters’ word choices, mannerisms, sentence structure all “speak” to who is speaking. 

Character Arcs – Do the hero and heroine grow from the beginning of the story to the end or do they remain the same damaged, spoiled, tough, indecisive, kick-ass-and-need-no-one they were to begin with? Is there a natural progression and do we, the reader, flow along with it? Are we invested in their growth? 

Plotting – Specifically in Romance Writing, we focus on Goal, Motivation and Conflict (based on the book by Debra Dixon of that title). Does the story line stand on its own? Is it feasible? Is it strong enough to carry through 400 pages, or is it one built on a misunderstanding. That is, could the hero and heroine resolve their issue(s) with a simple conversation? Are plot points generated that move the story forward?  

WorldBuilding – And I don’t mean in just Fantasy. Do you feel, see, hear, smell the world the characters inhabit? Is the setting set for you but not in a way that’s obtrusive to the story? Is it real to you? Are there consistencies, like room placement in a house, correct weather for the location, and correct references. You wouldn’t have a Parisian calling the Arc de Triomphe the Arch of Triumph just because he’s in the US. 

Presentation - You wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) submit your manuscript to an editor or agent in single-space, double-sided, Mistral 16 pt font, block style justified, mailed in your old raincoat. Learn what the standard for the industry is and present it in the contest as if you were submitting. Because, guess what? You are. Of the four final judges, two are editors. Make your work the best representation of your writing possible. There’s a lot of competition out there--why shoot yourself in the foot to begin with? 

Best of luck to everyone entering!

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