Summer Memories - Fast Car and Chlorine - A...

"Momma, go home. Watch Thomas train." My two year old demands from his car seat. I glance in the rearview mirror at my little man. I'm a mommy and I'm very happy with that, and very happy right now to be driving my little man home. Then the familiar opening chords of that song drift from the radio, and suddenly I am transported back, to a special summer and a very special friend.

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere

The year was 1987. At the start of the summer, I looked upon the next few months as a dead zone, time to be endured before my grand adventure could start in September. I would be going off to Italy for my junior year of college, breaking free of my home town's provincial bounds and having all sorts of adventures. I planned to spend my time that summer drinking cherry limeaids at the Sonic, catching double feature slasher movies at the drive-in, and making a little money (very little!) teaching swimming lessons and lifeguarding. Standing on the edge of summer, I did not know that this would be the summer that would haunt the rest of my days.

Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Summer jobs have a special kind of magic -- they bring together people who would otherwise remain separate, in their own spheres. I knew all the other lifeguards and swimming instructors from summers past. Most of us had gone to high school together, anyway. Although each of us belonged to different groups at the high school, our spheres overlapped enough for us to be beyond just a nodding acquaintance, but barely. And then there was Jim. Everyone knew Jim, of course. He was the kid in high school who had moved in from the big city at mid-semester. His expensive clothes and sophisticated tastes branded him as an outsider, somewhat of an oddity. We had never passed beyond even the nodding acquaintance -- and then that summer, we were assigned to teach a huge class of rowdy beginner swimmers together.

Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

I didn't mind teaching the class with Jim -- there was no way I could handle all those kids on my own, and I had nothing against him. After all, I was out of that town in only a few short months anyway. I remember feeling pleasantly surprised when he started telling jokes and talking to me more and more outside of class -- and I also remember wondering why it was such a surprise to me that he had a charming personality, clever wit and a generous soul.

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here

Over that summer, Jim and I developed a friendship that seem to ripen along with the summer wheat. We spent hours together, driving aimlessly around our small town and spinning tales of our dreams for the future and telling of our escapades of the past. We did not live solely in the past or future, though -- in retrospect, that summer strikes me as the time when I lived most in the moment: bluffing our (underage) way into the local bar and dancing all night; decorating our fellow swim instructor's cars with shaving cream and toilet paper (our identity as the tp artists was never discovered); enjoying the huge expanse of the town pool in after-hours parties with all the other lifeguards.

I remember we were driving, driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

The best memories I have of that summer, and the ones that return to me whenever I hear a Tracy Chapman song, are of riding on the back of Jim's motorcycle. We would go in the evening, after the pool closed for the day and the night settled over the town. The heat hung like a shroud over the town, making everyone seem like they were moving in slow motion. But when we climbed onto Jim's motorcycle to go soaring over the dirt roads on the outskirts of town, the heat lifted; the stars were so brilliant that if you listened closely, you could almost hear them singing, and we were safe, each knowing that we were in the company of the person with whom we would trust the safekeeping of our very souls.

I miss you, Jim. I miss our talks and our rides. I often wonder what would have happened if, if, if -- if we had both taken different paths, a path that we could have moved down together. But that did not happen -- we each went our separate ways at the end of the summer, and we drifted apart. That summer was twenty years ago, but I can still smell the chlorine and the motorcycle exhaust. And, if I try very hard on nights when the stars seem close, I can hear your laugh and feel my arms around your waist, flying on that motorcycle. But here I am in my sedate sedan, driving my little man home so we can watch Thomas train. Wherever you are, Jim, I wish you happiness and a fast car.

I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

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ARTIST: Tracy Chapman
TITLE: Fast Car

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

{Refrain}
I remember we were driving, driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

{Refrain}

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

{Refrain}

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way