by Carol P.
Member since:
April 26, 2007

Mother's Day ~ A Different Perspective

April 30, 2009 03:19 PM EDT (Updated: April 30, 2009 05:41 PM EDT)
views: 135 | comments: 50

 

Mother's Day is just around the corner, once again.

At age 14, I lost my Mom, so I have always dreaded Mother's Day. Then, after the loss of my only child of 16, I deleted the day from my calendar. It was just too hard to "celebrate" the day. After all, what did I have to celebrate? I understand the fact that I will always be Dustin's Mom, whether he is here with me or not.

Recently, a dear friend reminded me that, because I am Dustin's Mom FOREVER, I do need to acknowledge, embrace and celebrate Mother's Day. And you know what, she is right. Isn't it amazing the control our thoughts have over our lives. Now, I am trying to get psyched up for the big day. I know it will make Dustin proud if I do something for ME, for a change.

So... what if we all share our favorite memory from a Mother's Day past, and what our big plans are for this year.
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Comments: 50

Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 3:21pm EDT
I will start with remembering all the cards Dustin made for me. How precious is that!
JoAnne D. Apr 30, 2009, 3:22pm EDT
It is great to be a MOM.
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 3:24pm EDT
You are right JoAnne. I know Dustin is always in my heart, so I will always be his Mom. Thank you!
Nora Davenport Apr 30, 2009, 3:25pm EDT
Hi Carol! I know what you mean....I lost my beloved mom almost 18 years ago.....it still hurts, and Mother's Day, well.....I'd just as soon avoid it......since I no longer have a mom....and still miss her so tremendously. Our son will be gone for Mother's Day.....Sunday he's flying to Italy for two weeks, with a college group. Maybe hubby and I will out out to eat and take in a movie....who knows?
That's soooo neat that you have all those wonderful memories of your precious Dustin.......I'm terribly sorry that you, also, have lost your mom.
I hope you'll be able to do something special just for you!!!
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 3:27pm EDT
Thank you Nora. Don't think I could make it without the precious memories. I hope you have a wonderful day my friend.
JoAnne D. Apr 30, 2009, 3:27pm EDT
Yes, I feel like that to, since I lost one of my sons I have been appreciating every day I have.
DiAnA D. Apr 30, 2009, 3:28pm EDT
bless you Carol.. i lost my mom to pancreatic cancer in 2001.. i have two wonderful children and am blessed..
Pamela O. Apr 30, 2009, 3:29pm EDT
{{{HUGS}}} that sounds lovely, really. I just lost my mom in Feb. I'd love to do something like this.
Alta B. Apr 30, 2009, 3:30pm EDT
Oh my gosh! What a lovely post. For years and years I couldn't celebrate mothers day because I can't have children. And then our adoption was final! Now I can celebrate it. Thank you for listening to your friend!
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 3:33pm EDT
JoAnne, That's all we can do..one step in front of the other.

Dianne, So, do soemthing for yourself! You definitely are blessed my friend.

Pamela, So... just do it, that's what I'm gonna do...finally!! Hugs to you and sorry about the loss of your Mom.

Thank you Alta for reading. Good for you!!!!
Kimberly L. Apr 30, 2009, 3:35pm EDT
I think it's wonderful how you are looking at Mother's Day now! And, your little one is so cute in that photo!
Sensational Sadie Sexy Senior Sitizen Apr 30, 2009, 3:37pm EDT
I spent many Mother's Days with my dear mother who has now been gone for 13 years.
I think my favorite Mother's Days were when my five children were little. They always wanted to bring me breakfast in bed so I had to stay there until they were ready. The older two would make me hot tea and toast and the younger ones would draw me pictures and go out to pick violets and dandelions for a bouquet. Then they would bring my breakfast to me and all five would get on the bed while I tried to eat. That was sometimes quite a challenge. But, what a wonderful memory. I will be spending Mother's Day this year with my first born in Oklahoma.
Kelly Kay Apr 30, 2009, 3:38pm EDT
Carol you are a mother forever and always, he is with you every day in your memories and in your heart.

I have so many great memories. One of them is working at a daycare and my oldest daughter was about 5, we were working on a hand print & poem for all of the mommies. My daughter looked up at me with sad eyes and said, "Mommy, but YOU helped me with my gift, it won't be a surprise." I replied, "You know me, I'll have long forgot about it by then, so it will be a surprise." She looked up and smiled and said, "you're right, you forget easy." So sweet.
Nana to Seven Cutiepies Apr 30, 2009, 3:38pm EDT
I'm so glad you decided to celebrate this year, being a Mother is special, all those happy memories. What better day than Mother's Day to sit back and remember and rejoice.
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 3:40pm EDT
Thank you Kimberly, this was one of my fav pics of him.

SSSS, Thank you for sharing your memories.

Kelly, I thank you as well for sharing, it makes you feel good doesn't it? Five is such a precious age.

Nana, Thank you for your continued support. You are so right.
I miss my Mom so much that I don't celebrate it overly much. My daughter may get me a gift...or maybe we will all go on an outing or something.
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 4:21pm EDT
That is still good Priscilla. Anything is better than nothing. Thanks for stopping by.
JOHN BECK Apr 30, 2009, 4:42pm EDT
When I was a kid, people wore a red carnation on Mothers Day if their mother was alive and a white carnation if she had passed away.
JOHN BECK Apr 30, 2009, 4:43pm EDT
I think we should celebrate all mothers, not just our own, on Mothers Day.
Randall C. Apr 30, 2009, 4:59pm EDT
Yes, you should celebrate Mother's Day Carol. By all means. Do someting good for yourself. My one and only remembrance, is what dad did for mom..He always bought her a corsage. I do remember making cards for mom, when I was just a tike. Not sure about buying a corsage for mom this year, but maybe she will really love it...aww, crap, I'm breaking down again....
Van N. Apr 30, 2009, 5:09pm EDT
Sorry about your lost, but...as you said...no matter what, you're a wonderful MOM forever.
Janet "Jax" B. Apr 30, 2009, 5:17pm EDT
We don't really celebrate Mother's Day here...I just don't care for it either...
Tonia, who hugs trees G. Apr 30, 2009, 5:21pm EDT
This sounds really good Carol - I hope you're able to make it a great day :)
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 5:34pm EDT
Thank you all, your words mean more than you know.

John, You brought back some old memories about the corsages, thanks! And I like your outlook on celebration. I agree.


Cindy, Good to see you, thank you for your kind words.

Van, I appreciate your support.

Good to see you as well Tonia, thanks! ;)
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 5:34pm EDT
Randall, Sorry if this made you sad, it really is a good thing! :) I say by all means get your Mom a corsage...she will love it! Thanks for your visit.
Elaine S. Apr 30, 2009, 5:34pm EDT
I'm glad you will be celebrating Mother's Day Carol.
It will make Dustin smile for sure.
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 5:39pm EDT
Thank you my dear friend Elaine.
Marianne R. Apr 30, 2009, 5:59pm EDT
I'm not a mom, but I am thrilled to read that you'll be embracing the holiday this year. I know it's been hard for you.
Carol P. Apr 30, 2009, 6:00pm EDT
Marianne, Thank you my friend.
Janet H. Apr 30, 2009, 6:56pm EDT
My best Mother's Day was when my youngest son was born the day before Mother's Day and I took him home from the hospital on Mother's Day. That was a great gift!
Ruth Luce May 1, 2009, 12:10am EDT
Oh, Carol, you are so right and you are such an inspiration. My difficulties are minor, stepping back and being rational, I know that. My mom is fine, just 2100 miles away. My son I assume is also fine and 2100 miles away, just doesn't call or send cards. And I planned to ignore the day, other than I did send my mother and sister both little gifties and cards, and you know what though? Since I get so morbid that day, I actually sent my son a gift, just a little something, with a card thanking him for being him and for making me a mom, for the whole 9 yrs 9 mos and 3 days I got to do it anyway. And I have been so blessed with my Smokey kitty, he is my everything and I do get such joy from him. Thinking maybe I'll shine up his chariot and parade his and my butt around the neighborhood for the occasion, that's pretty appropriate, don't ya think?
Carol P. May 1, 2009, 3:06pm EDT
Janet, What an awesome memory. Thanks for sharing.
Carol P. May 1, 2009, 3:09pm EDT
Ruth, Good for you to send the little gifties to all, including your son. I think you should get Smokey all "gussied" up for the day... and share some photos!
Thanks for the visit my friend.
TINA s. May 1, 2009, 4:24pm EDT
life moves on
Carol P. May 1, 2009, 5:14pm EDT
Yes it does have a way of doing that Tina.
necee t. May 2, 2009, 6:57pm EDT
hello dear Carol... i'm glad to know you will be celebrating this year... Dustin will be soo happy as he watches over you... God bless you always... love and hugs...
Carol P. May 3, 2009, 1:09pm EDT
Necee, Good to see you, thanks for your support.
Carol P. May 3, 2009, 1:11pm EDT
Chris, Thank you for sharing your wonderful Mom memories. She did an awesome job in raising you.
You know me too well it seems. I do appreciate, very much, your continued friendship and support. It means the world to me.
barb n. May 4, 2009, 7:00pm EDT
Hey Carol!!! We had to let our internet go at the house for awhile.... I missed you bunches, you inspire me so much to be a better person!!!! I remember my boys being little guys, they would try to make me breakfast in bed... ummmmmm, burnt toast, with jelly, some horrible coffee, it was the BEST!!!!! I miss them a lot, now that they seem to be grown and living their lives, as children do...... but, you will always be a mom and I am so glad that you are able to acknowledge that and embrace it!!!!! I will be thinking of you on Mothers Day, and I believe in all of my heart that Dustin is smiling and is all around you everyday! and I pray that you do do something for yourself this year.....
lynn a. May 4, 2009, 11:31pm EDT
Carol, this sounds to be an excellent plan to me to celebrate the time that you did have with your dear Dustin, the day and the fact that you are Dustin's Mom. I am so glad to see this. Celebrating his birth and your motherhood is very important.
Carol P. May 5, 2009, 11:45am EDT
Barb, I have missed you. Thank you so much for your encouragement and continued support. (((Hugs))) to you my dear friend.
Carol P. May 5, 2009, 11:46am EDT
Lynn, You are such a dear friend. Thank you doesn't seem enough, but that's all I got it for now.
Tina Coruth May 7, 2009, 10:39am EDT
Carol, your friend is a very wise woman. Remembering all the cards that Dustin made for you sounds like a beautiful place to start. Precious, indeed. :-)
Carol P. May 25, 2009, 1:53pm EDT

Tina, Yes my friend is wise in so many ways. She has helped me through some very difficult times. An angel is what I call her.
Carol P. May 7, 2009, 3:56pm EDT
Thank you again Tina. Memories are all I have left to hold onto, so that's what I will do.

"Isn't it amazing the control our thoughts have over our lives."....yes, it is.  Your friend is right you know :)  I'm just glad you have memories to cherish.  Sending virtual hugs to you.
Carol P. May 25, 2009, 1:53pm EDT

Thank you Renda, I cannot say enough about all of my friends. They are so dear to me. And I too am thankful for the memories.

You are welcome, Carol.  It is good to have those types of friends in our lives.  They are to be cherished too.

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