Published in Ciao
Yesterday my son’s friend came over with some of his island music. He had Bob Marley, the Mighty Sparrow, who is actually related to him and other Caribbean artists. One song he had that was popular here in North America was Billy McFerrin’s, Don’t Worry Be Happy. Now those of you who know the song can or cannot relate to the fact that bad things are happing to people in this song yet the message is don’t worry be happy, then you will understand this article. In one way you can say that happiness is relative; just like that other famous song says…happiness is, happiness is, happiness is, happiness is…. different things to different people that’s what happiness is.
This song put me in a philosophical frame of mine and got me to thinking, about happiness, and is it tangible? Can we feel it, taste it, hear it, smell it, see it, and touch it? Is it a permanent phenomenon or a fleeting fancy? For me, the answer is it is all of these things and none of these things at the same time. You will have to read to the bottom of this article to understand why it is none of these things.
Let me explain:
Happiness, can we taste it? Sure we can. All you have to do is ask any foodaholic like me. Now you tell me, when you bite into that piece of juicy steak, or chocolate cake, or crisp garden salad, whatever your palate fancies, tell me that doesn’t create pure bliss? The trouble is this feeling goes away as soon as you have eaten that meal. This kind of happiness does not satiate you. You are hungry for the next meal and while you are hungry you may not be happy. In fact some people get down right grumpy. So happiness is not taste, and it is not something that is permanent when we talk about taste.
Let’s use taste in a different context, let’s use it in terms of likes and dislikes. Thought there are some tastes that remain constant over time, our likes and dislikes change; often drastically as we age. For example, I have always loved Spanish décor and I probably always will, but I do not like the 1970’s bellbottom pants that I used to own nor do I like the TV Western’s I adored as a child. Again likes and dislikes are just in many cases passing fancies. They do not produce a constant happiness.
One cannot attain a state of permanent happiness simply by acquiring material things things. Many people believe they would be so happy if they just had that new car, or that new house, or that job promotion. What happens again is that all they are doing is acquiring new things. Happiness does not come from the outside it comes from within. These people don not realize that all the material things in the world cannot make us truly happy. It will indeed make our lives easier than most, or more comfortable that most, acquiring things in and of itself will not make us happy.
If getting that new car, or house or boat theoretically made us permanently happy then we should never want again wouldn’t you agree? Yet, the same people who say would be happy if they had that brand new house are happy for awhile. They are happy until they decide they want a bigger and better house, or a better car or a new boat to go with the house. The people who want the promotion may like the job but not as much as they thought they would or down right hate it and revert back to the same old feeling, I would be happy if only I had a better job, or maybe they may no say, if only I could retire. Being in a constant state of what cannot or will not make us happy.
Psychologist Daniel Gilbert who studies the psychological phenomenon of happiness says the problem is when we think about what will make us happy it is our expectations that actually throws us off. He says we make mistakes in predicting how we will feel about something in the future. The future is still an unknown. It is not that a new car would not make us happy if this is what we truly want. There are however other factors that we do not consider. For example, getting a new car out of a divorce settlement when you really did not want the divorce at all. The new car now brings less excitement or less happiness than we expected. Gilbert and his associate Tim Wilson call these faulty interpretations of the future impact of an acquisition the “impact bias.” http://biopsychiatry.com/happiness/happyfut.html
Note: I only found Gilbert’s theory after I wrote this article. I am happy that I did because it lends well with my own personal thoughts.
Can we see or smell happiness? Yes, some people can, but I will tell you right now a person who is depressed and has the weight of the world on his or her shoulders rarely sees the beautiful in a butterfly, the sunset, the warm breeze on their shoulders or even takes the time to smell the perfume of the blossoming flowers. It is usually a person who is happy to begin with who can appreciate the things they see.
Can we feel happiness? Happiness is an intangible. For the people who feel happy inside are the ones who truly know what happiness is. Unfortunately too many people chase after a feeling of happiness to fill the empty void inside. Drug users go after that feeling of bliss, and alcoholics drown in their sorrows or drink to forget about their troubles. When the drugs are gone and the inebriation has worn off, the troubles and the shattered empty lives are still there.
Money, status, or material things cannot bring you happiness. Happiness is a state of being. It is what you feel inside on a constant basis. Merely acquiring new things, or experiencing the situations you live through on a day-to-day basis cannot change true happiness. Many millionaires are very unhappy and many poor people across the world are the happiest people alive. When people come to this realization then and only then can they truly become happy.
Here are a few famous quotes about Happiness
True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Helen Keller
You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.
Bette Davis
Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run.
This definition of happiness is by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy
If you love these quotes as much as I do, check out the book by the happy guy found here:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/definition-of-happiness.html
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Comments: 53
and it is great that you are always happy
As to happiness, only you can provide that for yourself. Money will only give you a temporary fix. I agree wholeheartedly.
10 4 u
this is what happiness is a state of being happy people are more happy than not happy because it is natural for them
things can't make you happy people can't make you happy you in the end make yourself happy,
just like I explained in the article
if you are not a happy person a butterfly will not make you happy,
if you are a happy person losing your job will not make you happy but it won't make you sad to the point that you never get a job again, you look at the situation, yes the situation you are talking about oxnard, and then you say okay I lost my job, but you know what tomorrow is another day and I will find another one, I am not going to let this destroy my happiness and the way I feel about life
it is more internal genetic, attitude and personality
than it is external, like things that happen to you,
as one responder said about we choose to be happy or not in everything that we do.
but the point you are not seeing in this article is regardless of the circumstances you choose to be happy or not, when you choose that is an internal decision coming from the inside of you.
You can also choose to be unhappy, like like anything in life, too, these are choices made from your brain and that means from the inside,
here is only one link on new research showing a genetic component to happiness
http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/03/05/genetic-link-to-happiness/2003.html
happiness comes from inside of you, that is what makes it genetic, so you can be happy you make that choice you decide for yourself dispite what crap life throws at you and we all know it throws a lot of crap, this is what this article is all about, we all have the power with in us to change how we feel we were given the genetic tools and we were given the power by god if you are a religious person, we all can do it,
granted some people who hare clinically depressed may need help with therapists and medication but that is not what this article was about it was about just your average everyday person.
This is a really interesting musing you've got here, Carol. It's been a couple of months now...have you come to any conclusions yet? Or maybe, happiness is just such a huge concept, it's impossible to draw conclusions about it... Anyway, I just posted an article on the essence of happiness, which seems to be related to the question you're tackling here, and I'd love your input if you get a chance and you'd like to comment! I'm sure you would add a lot to the discussion. Anyway, here's a link to the discussion if you'd like. Thanks so much! It's really a huge favor. Have a great day!
what I wrote was my conclusions, there is nothing new to add, on my part, I will go to your link now.