Anger, normally defined in many cognitive constructs of the sentient individual as, being one of the negative emotions that will do you more harm than good, as far as i can see it used as, is a fractured healer. I mean, that without expressing anger one never appreciates joy . . . no really. A person caught up in 'always being happy and carefree' is not really always 'happy & carefree' , it is just he or she abides very well to conformity of pretending to be that which you are not. These people pretend to be 'happy and carefree' because it is easier, less threatening, more resilient to public humiliation.
I find many people descend into a pit of self-destruction far into the deeper layers afflicting the superficiality of it all, and feeling deep regret. Deep as in way below the surface. Guilt of not being something you really want, or not providing what you think you can, is a struggle. You keep emotions under control, a preverbial 'lid on them'. It is the proper way to demonstrate manners and etiquette that you were rasied with knowing value of others, i.e. respect your elders.
I believe as powerful the emotion itself may be, if properly channeled it can make a huge difference in communicative awareness. Anger is essential and destructive but necessary according to the research I have done and some of the cases that presented themselves as original 'dysfunctional messes' turned out to be miscommunicated feelings. Some things that people we love do may make us angry and that is ok . . .
I still use consideration in the delivery of the tone of voice the message is carried in, meaning how I say something to spark anger in someone else, because I do not want to come off as equally insulting but rhetorically condescending. It serves as a calming breakthrough to nervous breakdowns whenever the patient ever yelled and released the 'pressure cooker valve' and figuratively exploded !
1) Agree or not ? get mad when appropriate or hold it in, walk away, completely avoid ??? to what level of intensity (decibels people not violence or hostility like how many slaps)
2) How do you feel anger should really be understood as? coped with? used?
3) A negative deterrant to self-improvement? or nothing to do with improvement at all?
4) A [new] positive avenue that might promulgulate (to announce strongly) independence which speaks with confidence while gently, assertively demanding respect?
just curious of the inner deeper psychological motivations reacting to certain key words evoking whatever response you feel is appropriate here . . .
sharing the light,
Related site:
http://www.enlightenment-psych.net/childrenshealth.htm
http://www.enlightenment-psych.net/mind.htm
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Comments: 32
well kick it or get another one, a job you didn't get, it probably wasn't a good one anyway and there will be a better one just ahead, Anger for any reasons takes way
too much energy. I get disappointed with things, and try to correct them but if I can't I say it just isn't worth it. The blood pressure is effected by anger, and the heart, and the brain. They have anger management course, so it must not be good to be angry to the point where it is destructive. Never argue politics or religion with anyone you care about, cuts out lots of bad feelings there. You can avoid anger if you see it coming, and move out of its way. A positive attitude helps you know you are right, (even if
you aren't positively 100% so) and this if you let it, lets the other person have the right to his opinion. No fights or arguments there. I don't Know Erica, I can't say I haven't been upset in my life, but have no regrets, and no grudges, so must have
worked things out peacefully in some way, Thinking before you speak and putting the
'brain in gear, also helps, late at night so just rambling on, but my thoughts on your subject. Also takes way more muscles to frown than it does to smile, so keep smiling.
Does that make sense?
1. Righteous anger, an emotion caused by seeing something happening that is just plain wrong: child abuse, animal abuse, spousal abuse, destruction of property, etc. That is a good kind of anger, it gets things done. People see an untenable situation and move to correct it.
2. Personal anger, where someone you care about did something to hurt you. We usually respond to that kind of pain in anger. Very few people just lay down and cry, they get mad because they are hurt. If they can't confront the person and acheive some sort of resolution then their anger might turn inward and be destructive.
3. Impersonal anger, like road rage. Usually people can't control that kind of anger, usually stems from anger caused by other life issues and then boils over during a frustrating incident. This kind can cause harm to them and to others. The most frightening kind.
4. Lastly I would call this kind, family anger. It's the kind of anger that parents feel over the disobedient child, frustration takes over and the child suffers. Or that a spouse feels over most any issue and takes out on their spouse and/or children. This anger has a psychological basis and needs intense help to even identify and then to treat.
When I find myself getting mad, I slow down and think who am I mad at, why am I mad and what, if anything can I do about it. Using those tools I can find my way out of anger and into solutions.
Ephesians 4:26
The expectation is not that we should never be angry... but, we are not to hurt others when we do become angry...
"Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." - Bruce Banner... aka The Incredible Hulk. Yes I saw the movie this weekend, hmmm, it was pretty good. I wonder why he is green? Is it the gamma radiation? Is that a real substance and is it green? Is green just a good color for a monster? Green is commonly associated with envy... I was just wondering about it... Interesting topic, thanks.
Kristina
This is a good article.
Anger is indeed an emotion which, when used correctly, can be a very useful tool. Everyone experiences anger. Some people suppress their anger because they have been trained to think it's bad. It is ONLY bad when it is used to lash out and hurt something, someone else OR ourselves.
It is the anger inside us that encourages us to right wrongs.
As with ALL emotions, it is learning how to use them that makes ALL the difference.
In Wanda's last paragraph regarding slowing down and thinking about why you're really mad: If we just take a minute to take a deep breath and think about why we're so angry it can really help clear your thoughts. Are you really ANGRY or HURT? If you're hurt then you need to say OUCH and confront the person that hurt you and TELL them they hurt you and give them a chance to apologize or right their wrong. If it is really anger you're feeling, then realize it is really worth your effort to figure out why and what you're angry at. Figure out a healthy way to deal with it.
If your mind is just too cluttered with anger to think rationally, then you need to talk to someone who will listen - like a friend, sibling, me, etc... Talking to someone about how you feel can work wonders.
but there are times when it is better to stay quiet, and let things go,
because some people can not take the anger of others, and may become violent.
I get angry, usually at some stupid thing I have done or let happen.
I rail at the fates a lot. Then recently I have learned to prioritize.
My husband made me angry, his drinking mostly, but he was angry all the time so no peace there, he left, I got angry, at the other woman more than his stupidity to do something like this at 61! But then more important things took that anger and channeled it into an energy I didn't know I had, resources that were dormant or non-existant.
My horse of 22 years, Sun, had a casting accident (rolling and getting stuck beneath a fence) I then spent the next 6 1/2 weeks and over $12,500 trying to keep him alive. It began a year ago yesterday, so I am thinking about it. Laminitis set in.
Anger turned to fright and pity and sadness as I couldn't do what I had intended. oh I was angry at anyone who told me the truth, he wouldn't recover, it took Sun himself to let me know it had to be over (As you can read in my article "The Hardest Thing I Shall Ever Have to Do"). So anger used as energy, but getting angry for me now is nothing compared to the ups and downs life has presented me with the past couple of years. It just isn't worth it. Messes with your health.
That said, bottling up anger is clearly not a physically healthy thing to do, so it is important to find appropriate ways to express or defuse it until you have removed the root cause.
A quick burst of anger, followed by calmness and relief is healthy. Obsessing is not.
Sometimes a situation can grow so big that it takes on a life of its own and does irreparable damage.
When we forgive, we let go of our end of the tug-of-war rope and it's a wonderful feeling of freedom.
I get angry at my complacency so I use that to get off my buTT
I always had to remember not to bust out in laughter when Martins hand would start shaking . . grown people reaching out to touch his hand when he was mad about something.
Kids knew to keep toys off his porch after that. Martin was on to something . .
To hold in anger, is to allow it to surface at the most inappropriate time ~ and in an inappropriate way. I think if we get angry, we need to take a time out to try to understand why we are angry, then address that anger with whomever or whatever the cause was.
It takes time to learn how to channel anger maturely. We dont have to yell, scream, curse or hurt the cause ~ learn from it and if it was caused by another person ~ attempt to address that cause, thereby (possibly) helping that other person understand that she or he has hurt us.
~great posting~j
"i am angry because.... and i'd like... "
this is good expression...
now.. throwing, hitting allowing yourself to get out of control of get physical.. is NOT healthy at all. its' just plain mean.... and sad.. that you dont have better control.