Friendships can be complex and difficult at times. I know that I have had to reevaluate several times my friendship with my best friend. She does some things that used to drive me mad, and at times I thought of ending our friendship. I had to take a step back and look at the pros and cons and determine if the relationship was worth it.
She is a thoughtful and caring person that would be by my side if I asked her. She has been here to pick up the pieces, when I did not have the strength do it alone. She has been in the emergency room with me with my children, and has bought me groceries when I did not have a dime. She goes out of her way sometimes to do something special for my children. Most importantly we can tell each other anything, and she feels like home.
I had to remember these things numerous times. Although she has some wonderful qualities, she is human and has some faults. The main issue is that she makes promises that she never keeps. I think she gets excited to tell me about doing something rather than really doing it. I have been promised a trip to Chicago, a bike, a movie, going to Hawaii, a gym membership, and I could go on. I have learned to never believe them. She makes promises like that to my kids too. They have come to accept that as part of her too.
She never wants to leave her home, and wants me to be at her house. Most of the time she just wants a presence there. Many times she will invite me over to just sit on the computer and basically ignore me. I used to just sit there, but have learned to say something or just leave.
I have been friends with her for years. I used to get really upset about these things, but I have accepted them as part of her. I have discussed this with her, but it still continues. I had to determine if the good parts of our relationship outweigh the bad, and they definitely do. I have accepted that she will make empty promises and dismiss these comments as easily as a comment on the weather. I know that she will be there when it really counts and that is what is really important.
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Comments: 27
Happy Birthday!
Hope your friend remembered and came through!
Yes, Happy Birthday, Sue!!
The inviting me over to just watch her sit at the computer would drive me bananas. Maybe I'd bring my laptop over and go online at the same time. Or I'd bring a book to read or some knitting. See how she would like that!?
I think you're right that we all have to weigh the good parts against the bad and then decide!
She has been there for you and that is a huge plus. It really depends on you but |I would never let someone promise things to my children and not come through, I would hold them to it. If you are best friends she will understand.
Blessings
I feel if someone is over visiting, they should have your full attention...
(I'll be back to post more)
Sounds like she's a person that does not like being alone. I do not value this, as I am a person who is comfortable with myself and love my alone time. This is difficult. Perhaps you both have changed and want different things.
I do like the caring things you say she has done, as I have not experienced much of this myself. I'm generally on the giving end.
You get the picture.
Good luck, my heart goes out to you!