The worst day of my life

I am sorry this has happened to your child... Parents need to remember that tons of kids out there are using drugs that are illegal.. more now than when we were kids growing up... We must not be so naive and think that our child is the perfect angel... our kids will hide anything and everything from their parents...

I myself now and then make it my duty as a parent to rummage through my children's belongings and even keep track of their online chat... I am connected to them through myspace and limit their online access...

Today's world is very sick and cruel...

Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I really appreciate you all joining in our conversation and helping us educate other parents about cough medicine abuse.

I'm sorry this happened, but how can you blame the drug abuse on armed robbery? Are you unable to accept that maybe your son is just that way on his own? DXM is a depressant, meaning it will make you want to do less, marijuana can be a depressant too. Even under the influence of two depressants your son was able to muster the energy to rob a place, honestly I think he was just using the drugs as an excuse. Maybe you just don't know your son as well as you thought you did. I think this is an unfair and a misrepresentation of DXM use, it may not be good, but it's nothing like what you make it out to be. Don't take this the wrong way, I really have the best intentions at mind here.

I myself have always been of the opinion that kids get medicines only when sick. My 3 year old tells me his tummy hurts every time he sees someone taking medicines. I always wait to know that they need them first, so that I am not over medicating them and making them want to take them when not needed.

I think that children should not be choosing and taking medicines without their parent knowing or being the one giving it to them. I have seen other kids between the ages of 10 to 17 being told to go take such and such otc medicines, which I will not do (my oldest is 9). IF they need medicine while they are still underage, I will dose it out for them and choose what and when they take it. There is no way I want mine taking otc meds without my knowledge.
I have read the symptoms of otc abuse, and have seen a couple of people that used Nyquil and other cold meds incorrectly. They called it juicing back than, and it was AWFUL on them, physically and mentally they were impaired by it.

What an awful thing to go through, and I am very sorry to you ladies that have been through the ordeal. Thank you for spreading the word to those of us that have not been in this situation. It will be a few years before I have to be on watch for these things, but I have taken what was said here to heart. I will watch for symptoms of drug abuse (illegal and otc) in my children.

Michael-
I think many robberies are linked to ALL sorts of addictions. All addictions take money to keep them going, gambling, alcohol, drugs, porn, smoking...
When people are out of money and desperate for their next "fix" robbery may be the first answer that the impaired mind comes to, and without the restraint that a sober mind gives most of us, it is easier to act on such thoughts.

Depressants do not always mean that a person gets lazy on them. I have known a good few potheads that were quite productive while on it, and OTC medicines as well. Being a depressant can change a persons personality more than their physical energy level more, IMO. Potheads/drug abusers may like to lay around and veg out, but not all do, and many times they actually get out and about, hence drug related car wrecks and accidents.
One group of guys I used to know, used to get stoned and go play basketball or baseball. Another group of adult men I knew would go on 20+ mile bikerides once a week, and smoke pot all the way there and back.

Michael "Maybe you just don't know your son as well as you thought you did."
That line there seems to take your statement from jsut an opinion, to a personal level.

You have to realize that this, like any other drug use, effects every person in a different way. I do not see a reason to cast judgement on how well a parent knows her child. I am a little offended by your statement and he is not even my son.
I do not think she is necessarily blaming the crime on the drug abuse, but it is what brought the abuse to their attention. I am sure the robbery could have happened without the abuse, but it is a lot less common for a clean cut kid to out of the blue commit an armed robbery.

I did say marijuana can be a depressant, 'can' is the key word there. It has been long known that marijuana's effects tend to differ according to state of mind. DXM is a true CNS depressant, meaning it will slow down your brain inevitably, and thus your ability to take action. There will be physical limitations at recreational doses, and it would take quite a bit more effort to rob a place, his inhibitions may have been down, but I bet he was thinking about it(robbing a place) before he even took the DXM. DXM is very easily shoplifted by children, so why would one rob a place to feed their addiction? Even if they buy it, cough medicine is still rather inexpensive.

-Shawnee

I'm sorry that what I said offends you but I did say that with the best intentions. I didn't mean for it to sound personal, I was just trying to convey my point that maybe it wasn't the drug abuse. He obviously wasn't a clean cut kid. It seems to me that the article does blame drug abuse for the robbery indirectly. The first paragraph describes the situation about him robbing a place and then the rest talks about cough medicine abuse. Mrs. Candell wouldn't be talking so much about cough medicine abuse in an article about her son committing armed robbery if she didn't believe the two were closely related.

michael, it seems that you are among the many people in this world who don't see the problem because you can not possibly understand how someone could commit a crime because of cough syrup.
well you need to open your eyes and see that just because cough syrup is legal does not mean it is not addictive and or harmful to the development of young people..especially the brain in large doses.

As for attacking a mother who had the guts to come on here and tell her story... that is just cowardly...you wouldn't say that to her face if you met he ron the street...and don;t say you would, because you knwo that is bull. You can hide in your house unseen at your computer and you think that makes it ok to be cruel.

Christy as a mother knows what happened in her family and while she may not be perfect as none of us are especially as parents..she still had the guts to admit that something was wrong. This article is about cough medicine abuse not her parenting abilities. So lay off.

and now some idiot has flagged this..Christy you need to contact gather and ask them to remove that flag..you don't deserve it.

I do not think it deserves a hate speech tag, maybe, an adult content tag, but I think even that is a stretch.

I do see the point that it is a depressant, but I know once an addicted person thinks of something as a good idea, they can still get up to go do it. I have personally known three different people who used cough medicines on a recreational level, and still worked and "partied" with the rest of their friends.

If he was already addicted to the cough medicine, he was most likely taking it daily. I think he would have had impaired judgement even before he took that days "dose". So if he woke up and decided that today he was going to rob a place, who says that yesterdays drug abuse was not still impairing his decisions?

Once aperson is addicted to a thought and decision impairing substance, I do not think that even in between while they are sober they can make the best decisions.

I wasn't going to get into this conversation, but I have to agree w/Shawnee. Even if a person isn't "dosed" at that time, they still may not make good judgement calls. I think the reason for that is THEY ARE IN WITHDRAWLS. ANYONE who has ever had ANY REAL experience with addiction knows that THE WORST DECISIONS ARE MADE WHILE IN WITHDRAWLS! When you are in withdrawls from the substance you are abusing, you will do ANYTHING to get more, to stop the pain, the misery and sickness you are feeling.........ANYTHING.......if you can't obtain your drug of choice by buying it either because you don't have the money or the substance isn't readily available, you will do anything to get it.

In my personal experience with drug addiction, (mine was a different substance, but it all boils down to the same thing.........addiction) if I couldn't get what I "needed" by my normal means, I would steal what I wanted from the medicine cabinets of others. If I wasn't able to get into their homes by being invited, I would break into homes when people weren't there. I would take what other people needed desperately for their suffering and pain knowing that they would have to do without, JUST TO STOP MY MISERY from WITHDRAWLS!

My husband was a police officer in the town we lived in, I was a well respected member of our town, my job and church and I would STOOP to NOTHING to get my drug of choice. When you are down to stooping to anything and doing things as drastic as stealing and robbing, it is to STOP THE WITHDRAWL symptoms and to feel "normal" or "better" again. It is WAY PAST the point of just being a recreational high that we could stop when you wanted. Otherwise, if it was a matter of just wanting it to get high, we could probably control the urges until we could get some without hurting or harming other people.........

First, I'd like to say thanks to those of you who are joining the conversation on our Gather site. While I would never point to one single thing as the sole cause of my son's experience, I do know that DXM abuse was a factor in his behavior - and that is more than enough to motivate me to speak out and educate other parents about this serious problem that so many parents know so little about. The Five Moms Campaign is about education and empowerment. I believe that education is empowerment - When parents are educated about this issue, they are empowered to speak to their kids and hopefully prevent DXM abuse in their communities. Thanks again to everyone for joining our conversation.

I am glad to see the flag was taken off!

way to go Christy! Thanks for keeping all moms aware of this very real danger!

michael...i dont know if you realize but these kids that are taking the cold med's are not just taking a regular dose..they are taking 8-10 or more pills (for example) and tripping...they are not in there right or normal mind...i know my daughter is involved in this and i have been trying to help her get past this to no avail at this point..

It isn't the drugs that cause problems, it's the people taking them. It is a grave mistake to remove all personal responsibility for one's actions simply because they acted under the influence of a drug. Let's try an analogy: If I drink alcohol and start a fight with someone, does that mean that any of you parents are more or less likely to engage in violent behavior after drinking? No. If one mindless thug commits robbery under the influence of DXM, it's his problem, and his prison sentence. DXM, like any other drug, can be used responsibly, but it's up to the users to educate themselves and make that choice.

I am very sorry to read about your son Ryan. I am sure you have suffered a lot because of what happened and the fact that he is now incarcerated. I appreciate that you have taken the time to come on Gather and educate others about what can happen when our children become involved with drugs.

DH420 - The point is that children and teenagers in general don't consider all of the potential consequences of their actions. This could include everything from drug abuse to driving fast. It is up to parents to help educate their children about how their choices can affect themselves and others. To do so, parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing, what sort of activities they are into, who they are associating with, etc. Its up to their parents to help guide their decisions and keep them out of harm's way.

Here's an analogy: If you have small children, you teach them to look both ways before crossing the street. Even after telling them that, you're not going to just send them outside by themselves to play in traffic. You continue to watch them to make sure they don't step in front of a truck, and try to be there to pull them back in case they do. Similarly, we try to educate our children about the dangers of abusing drugs, alcohol and the like, but our responsibilities don't end there. We need to watch our kids and teenagers to make sure they aren't "stepping in front of a truck", and need to be there to pull them back in case they do.

Hello, I am a Psychiatrist and run The Detox Clinic of Hattiesburg. I have a patient, a nurse I am currently treating for DXM Dependence. I am using a technique called opioid replacement therapy with the medication buprenorphine (Suboxone) with good results so far. She feels much better and has no cravings for DXM. See my website for further info:www.drpasser.com

B. Riley - I see what you're saying, and admittedly I can't relate to how it feels to be a parent. I'm sure having a child intensifies feelings of responsibility for their safety and fear of their harm tenfold. However, I would urge parents to recognize that their children are not always as stupid or shortsighted as they might assume. I'm not going to pretend to tell people how to raise their kids; I'm a humble 19 year old college student and veteran cough medicine user. What disturbs me, though, is the level of distrust between the youth and their elders going on these days. I think the lines of communication between the two should be open for a discussion of potentially dangerous areas like drug use. However, the discussion should involve facts rather than propaganda and rhetoric. The gestapo-parent routine simply does not work in my experience. Violating a teen's sense of privacy by going through their things or monitoring their online activity wounds their pride so much that it dissolves the mutual trust required for communication. All in all, it really comes down to individual choice. Once kids are educated about the dangers, whether we're talking about dosing or skydiving, the choice to participate will be up to them. I urge you to consider the teenager's ability to make responsible choices about drugs, whether they opt for abstinence or occasional indulgence.

well dex head420 i understand the side of the coin you are coming from basically the occassional user..you are in college...so you seem to have a future..but when the usage is daily and one teen is not following thru on there responsiblitys basically they are turning into an addict..wouldnt you say that there has to be some intervention...i understand the lines of communication need to be open tried that, and yes i search thru her stuff to at least moniter where her head its at..for her own safty..i have compromised...but that is not working and yes she has been in counsling as well shes in denial so that is not working either...how do you really think that using cough medicine can be compared to having 1 drink it is not the same...just a question

what a tragic story Christy. My oldest child is 12 and we have all types of meds in the house - that are not under lock and key. I would have never thought that cough meds could be used to "get high." Thank you and your group for bringing this to our attention.

I realize that your story is a way of letting us get to know you. It shows great strength and character to let the world know. I do agree with some of the comments, I have been working with drug programs for years and, DXM although it seems to be something that abusers like to get high off of, your body doesn't seem to become addicted in the same way heroin, cocaine, or even crack does. It seems to be the fun high. People do it for the feeling and teens seem to do it because it is the thing to do. Although the DXM high seems to lead the users into using other drugs with it, that is really where the problem exists in using DXM.

It would be hard to find a police report that says someone was high on cough medicine, because the DXM high puts a person in a state of unawareness, sluggishness, and it doesn't allow them to process information.

I know your story about Ryan, is your story, not the purpose of the campaign. I just wanted to try and explain why some seem to come down so hard. I hope Ryan is doing well and I pray for you and your family.

I know the difficulties of raising children, especially with the pressures of today's society. No, I don't just mean other kids wanting them to get high either, though that is present in every school even in small town America. (I live in one) I am also talking about the high level of expectations our society now puts on the kids, and how much harder it is to meet those, for everybody, regardless. My kids came from a single parent home with no child support. (he STILL owes over 50,000 and they are 20 and 21) I learned one very valuable lesson with my kids. If you want honest, open discussions with your kids, have them with your kids. I don't agree with Dex head420 about legalizing any kind of drug use EVER. I think we have far too many dangerous substances legal now. But he is right about one thing, give your kids a benifit of a doubt. If you enter into a relationship with distrust, so will they, and they will return it You will leave yourself open for people to make friends with them and gain their "trust" by so-called believing in them and treating them like adults. Everybody wants and needs respect. That doesn't mean they don't need discipline, or guidelines. If you want honesty, you have to be willing to give it first. I tried very hard to avoid because I said so as a reason for anything. I apologized to my kids if I did something wrong, or handled something poorly. I did not apologize for caring, or doing what I thought best at the time, but if I saw that it was not the right thing, I admitted my mistake and we worked things out. If I didn't want them to do something, I would give them a reason. I have been honest with my children about the mistakes I made as a teenager. The fact that I ran away, the trouble we got into, and what it was like to get arrested. None of that was on my record. Always choose your battles too. If my daughter wanted to cut her hair short, and it was not against school policy or vulgar, (something rude carved in it which she didn't want, but I had spotted before) I let her, she had to go out in public that way. I would talk to her before she did it, but it became her decision. My kids were allowed privacy, until they were caught either in a lie, or some reason to suspend the privilage. I made a point to talk to my children, to know their friends, and to keep track of what they are doing and how they are doing. That is the best advice I can give anyone. (and probably the most long-winded, for which I apologize also!!)

Lisa
Lisa F. you are right on the mark...don't appologize for being long-winded, everything you said is absolutly correct

As a step-mom that came in the story when my stepson was 21 (he's 26 now) I think I have fresher eyes to see a possible problem with alcohol but it's a fine line to cross with my husband. I have offered my insights but that's about all I can do except pray that the young man doesn't go down the road that his father had to stumble on until he stopped drinking.
But, education is surely the key for all of us to continue to learn so we could help others. I'm sure Placer County is sure grateful for your help to help others learn. I'm newish to the county and newer to gather but I do appreciate you helping the rest of us learn a lesson or two.