I saw you last night when I closed my eyes....

I saw you last night when I closed my eyes.  Your memory was trying to overcome me and grip me with fear once again but I'm not letting it.

You may have caused me to not sleep well last night but that doesn't mean your memory still controls me. 

I've come to far to back down now.  I won't go back to that place I once was.  I won't be gripped with fear or anxiety any more because of you.

I will continue to move forward and fight because I'm worth it.  I'm a strong woman who was able to get away to move on and go forward with my life.

Unlike you, I can let you go.  I can move forward.  You will never be able to.  Those things you did me will haunt you.  They will come back on you ten fold.  I know you think I'm weak but I'm stronger than you think.

I was strong enough to move out, to move on with my life.  To make a better life for my daughter and myself.  Strong enough to testify against you when you thought I would coward down just cause you were in the court room.  That sly little smile you gave me with the look that says I'll kill if you don't go my direction wasn't enough to hold me back.

Yes, there are days when all I can do is remember but for that one day that I do remember there are 100 days that I'm able to go on with my life.  Does that one day make me weak.  No way!  It just makes me ever so thankful that I was able to move on and move out.  To testify against you and make you pay for what you did to me.

Going to counseling might help you with your anger issues but I can gaurantee that it won't help you forget what you did and how you spend the last 5 years of your life.  You spent them behind bars and I spent them rebuilding my life.

You're out now, I know that, but you won't hold me prisoner anymore by your memories.  I won't do it. I won't allow it.  Remember that! Just remember that you can never and I mean never hold me prisoner anymore!