Curves Obsession

Why would someone choose to starve themselves or go through yoyo diets you ask?

Well, once I inherited my true figure it was not one that could be on a cover of a magazine.

Instead I have the hour glass shape, which these days has a mixed review for instance hanging out I hear...

 "Oh, your not fat your just thick."

I am not overweight but I am not skin and bones either. For years, I tried so hard to fit into a look that was not mine.  I did not realize that I was purchasing clothes that made me look even worse.  See if you have an hour glass figure you can't wear most things you see on a manicine in most department stores.

 As if that was not bad enough I decided to take on a retail management postion when I was really desperate after putting myself through school to get my BA in Psychology.  My brain knew better but the fact that I needed a carrer job pushed me towards it.  It was like high school all over again.  I was working for Hollister which is owned by Abercrombie and Finch.  You guessed it their hiring scheme was based on how the person looked.  The girls on the posters looked like Marrisa from the OC.  Size 0 and very skinny with no curves.

After a year of being harrassed by my district manager about how I was not good enough for him, I gave up and quit.  He actually had people spying on me and would ask them things about me instead of coming up to me and talking openly.  Yet, if I had something to say he never had time and once even told me to stop emailing him with issues.  He was a bully and played favorites until the people he really didn't want to be there quit or got fired, usually for things that were not their fault.

 In the end I couldn't help feeling that if I looked like one of the people he promoted about 6 times over while I was there that maybe I would have been accepted for my curvy figure which was not exactly the poster board for Hollister.

All the people who did get promotions were girls, mostly blonde, size 0, flat tummys, and vey skinny.

 I have been battaling health problems and depression but I am in much better shape physically then I was then...also emotionaly.  However, it took me years to say it is ok to be curvey and there are clothes and even swim suits out there for me...I am just not the norm so I have to be creative!