Imagine how you would feel if you were at a lunch date with a friend and in the middle of an intensely fun and funny conversation, she took a phone call and gestured for you to keep eating. Or if she kept glancing at her Blackberry or even started sorting through her mail. But that’s exactly what we do when we say okay to a child’s request to play a board game, only to sneak peeks at our email or at the day’s headlines between moves. It’s far better to commit to 20 minutes of Candyland (well, maybe 15 is enough, because that is one boring game) than to say you’ll play for an hour, only to let your attention wander elsewhere. Children deserve some time when we can be fully present, when we’re willing to ignore the phone, leave the dishes in the sink, and just hang out with them.
Sadly, in our goal-oriented, fast-paced lives, there is often little room for activities that don’t seem to have a specified outcome attached to them. We take our kid to a swimming lesson, because it’s clear the aim is to make him comfortable in the water and, perhaps, to teach him to paddle across the pool on his own. We sign up for classes or concerts or peewee athletic leagues because we think our kids will get something out of these activities -- and we’re probably right. But where we’re often wrong is in thinking that just hanging out with our children is a waste of time. Spend five minutes with a curious child and you’ll be bombarded with questions that range from the sublime (“Who turned off the stars?) to the silly (“Why is ya ya ga ga?”) to the embarrassing (“Why do you have hair up your nose?”) Everything from how you answer those questions to the ways you touch or look at your child while you do so boosts his confidence, builds his vocabulary, teaches him valuable social skills, and, of course, strengthens your relationship. In that sense, “just hanging out” is rarely a waste of time; it’s often the richest experience in an overscheduled week.
What's the wackiest question your child has posed recently? Share your response in the comment field below by Monday, December 15th. Gather will draw one respondent to receive a free copy of The Secret of Play, a parenting book that celebrates the good stuff—the fun, spontaneity, creativity, and inspiration children bring to our lives every day.
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Comments: 41
Recent Questions: How does satellite work? How high is the empire state building? How do birds know when it's time to fly south? How old is our country and so many math questions it boggles the mind. He lays in bed at night and makes up math problems or spells words. I have never seen anything like it and I am in awe of my little boy. I try to answer his questions and what I don't know we look up. He is addicted to learning but just as addicted to play and he has found a way to combine the two. Each evening he comes up with an activity for us when he gets home from school. Last night it was a spelling game he came up with, tonight we are doing a craft. I think I have written too much here. Speaking of writing, we write together. I am working on a series of childrens stories that are about his adventures. Just little short stories and rhymes; sometimes we share them with his class and he takes such pride in what we do.
He asks lots of questions every day. One that he has asked this morning is "Why does the sun sleep late when it's cold?" We live in North Dakota, so there is a big difference in when the sun rises in the summer compared to winter.
"Why are the things I’m supposed to eat always coloured green? "
That's so funny. Recently my little guy told me that he refuses to eat anything green.
Elliott just turned two last week, and although he is pretty smart and talks extremely well for his age, he hasn't asked a lot of odd questions yet. My favorite, though, was when he became fascinated with the moon. He still asks me occasionally "I hold moon, momma?" The first time he asked, I explained why he couldn't hold the moon. We were in the car, so he was quiet for a little while, but then he started tyring to jump out. He then announced triumphantly "I TOUCH moon!" as if he were proving me wrong!
The funniest thing I remember my daughter asking was, "what makes the grass green?" I told her God and she wouldn't have anything to do with that. I started to tell her the scientific reason but I couldn't satisfy her curiosity. Finally we went to the encyclopedia and looked it up. Oh to have had the internet then!
his cousin died earlier this year and he is very concerned with who would give him presents for Christmas as he was always a good boy.
The other day my almost 8 year old son asked me how babies get OUT!
"Motocycho, fahbah pants, tee vee on... yes?"
(That meant he wanted me to turn the tv on so we could watch SpongeBob Square Pants riding his motorcycle)
LOL
The past week alone brought me "Do you get seasick inside a submarine?" "How does snow turn into flakes instead of froze rain drops?" And (when talking about Dinosaurs being extinct) "Did the meat eaters eat all the plant eaters?"
My oldest was always a "why" kid, but Zach he ALWAYS has a scenario, and a what if! LOL
My daughter asked me, "Mom, why does Aidans (Boy) butt stick way out, but mine only sticks way in (girl)." I had to leave the bathroom just a second, so I could die laughing in the hall way.
"Dad where does paper come from?" .....Each question led to another until we were explaining atoms and electrons- the next question
"Where does atoms come from Daddy?" Stumped us.
I had a 4 year old ask me why I had metal hooked to my teeth when I had braces!
Of course there are the questions about body anatomy! My favorite is what my three year old little girl calls "Boots". I Love that she announced excitedly to the entire dressing room at a department store "Mom, are those your boots and your nittles?!" (i'm not going to explain further if you don't understand)
Just last week she was freaking out at the grocery store pharmacy while looking at a health pamphlet with an old man's hands on the front. "Mom, look look, what is wrong what is that (pointing to the wrinkeled hands) look at those cracks... oh dear, why is those cracks there!!!?" "Is it cut?" "Are they hurt?" I realized she had just never looked at here hands very close. Once we expained to her how your hands "make cracks" when they open and close she was fine. She realized they weren't "cuts"