Even for parents of children who are not "spirited" there is excellent advice in this book. Two things I'm very glad I read in it, and use regardless of the child I'm parenting, are:
* the advice on mentally dividing events into different baskets - what I have to handle RIGHT NOW, what is of medium importance, what I don't really need to deal with. This allowed me to be more mellow, recognizing that not every behaviour was something I had to fix RIGHT THEN. Ok, I was (and still am somewhat) a neurotic parent. Make that, Spirited parent.
* the section that talks about the differences between introverted and extroverted children. My introverted daughter was becoming over-stimulated in social situations and melting down. Nothing worked and I was at the end of my rope. Then my sister, whose son had leapt to mind when I read the title and I had bought the book for her, originally, suggested I read this section. Oh my. It helped. I could understand why, now, and start to clue in to where her limit was for socialization and she needed to go home - before we got to meltdown stage.
What I find most valuable about this book is that it teaches you about your child's temperment and how to work with it, rather than against it, without advising to hand them control and let them run the asylum.
The Five Love Languages of Children
I am at least the fourth generation in my family of daughters that grew up not feeling like her mother loved her. That says a lot to me about parents not knowing HOW to communicate their love to a child even though they do. I was determined not to be the mother of the fifth generation in a straight line and when I saw this book I knew it was the answer.
Coincidentally, it's helped my relationship with my hubby as well.
You see, people "feel" love in different languages. Some respond to physical touch, some need acts of service, some need words of affirmation, some need quality time, others gifts. We all need all of it in some degree but best "hear" a certain one. My daughter is very physical. I am not, at all. It is difficult to cross the language I prefer, the one I best know, which comes easily to me, to one that doesn't, but because of this book I know to try, and I do know how. I make the effort for her and hold her and read to her when I am completely touched out and would rather not, because I know she "hears" that love language.
The book very wisely advises covering them all the best you can, and I try to do that, too. But when time is short, or things are difficult, like they have been here when I was sick so long, it was helpful to know which one to make sure I didn't miss. Highly recommend this book or one of its companions (The Five Love Languages) for everyone not already familiar with this subject.
This book combines brief, concise descriptions of developmental stages with been-there-done-that advice for each age in a handy reference guide format. It's very easy to find your way around and get to the information you need quickly. The author's voice is warm, experienced, practical, never coming across as though she is talking down, even on the medical topics.
It makes solving parenting dilemmas so much easier because she arms you with the reasons WHY, including the child's perspective, then you decide what you feel appropriate to do. I get this book out often when our ages or stages change, and find it helpful every time.
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Comments: 22
Thank you, Kylee and Dena.
They all sound good.
Thanks, Nancy.