So I'm on the road again for a tour, this time to talk to people about my book. I feel very disconnected from the other Tour, the one that is winding its way through France this month. This is the first time in six years that I haven't raced the Tour de France. Of course I would prefer it if I could be there to defend my championship, but I believe it does no good to sit around spending energy wishing things were different. So I don't. Apart from checking race results now and then to see how my friends are doing, I'm removed from the racing part and focused on what I'm doing now: Clearing my name and explaining to people how the antidoping system that governs Olympic sports like cycling is set up in a way that's very unfair to athletes-and it's killing the sport I love.
Fortunately, I did get to race my bike last month for the first time in way too long, at the Teva Mountain Games in Vail, Colorado. It was outstanding. First of all, things weren't hectic like they have been since this mess started. There were no lawyer meetings or conference calls-it was just me on my bike turning the pedals. It also felt good to be in a race atmosphere with all the riders and fans. And I raced a mountain bike instead of a road bike, which I hadn't done in... I don't even remember how long. Ever since I first broke my hip in 2003, I hadn't ridden on the dirt because I was afraid of falling and wrecking it even worse, but with my new hip replacement I'm as good as new. Of course, I'm in the worst shape of my life, and Vail is at such a high altitude that I could feel my heart pounding in my head after my warm up, before the race even started. And I got beat by quite a few people. But whatever, it was a fun break.
Now it's back to the story that never ends. At least, that's how it feels to me. As I've said before, I know that this will never go away completely. Once a reputation gets tarnished like mine was after last year's Tour, there's no way it will ever be back to what it was before. No matter what the verdict of arbitration panel deciding my case, I will still be the punch line of some people's jokes. Belief is an interesting thing. People form them based on what little information they're told. That's why since the beginning I have made my case as transparent as possible, to let people see all the information before deciding what to believe. One thing that I have been both impressed and humbled by is how many people have taken the time to look at my case and see all the flaws in the testing, and how many people have supported me along the way. It's been an honor to talk to many of them on the book tour.
I'll be checking in again soon and I'd love to read and respond to your comments or questions.
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Comments: 23
I've been watching and following the Tour de France obsessively for several years, and its sad to not see you competing there this year. I'm really interested to read your book. (Congrats on making the New York Times Bestseller List!) I just checked out your website and it sounds like you've got a pretty busy schedule ahead of you with your book tour. Are you still going to try to fit some races in this summer?
It seems that cycling is going through a similar situation to baseball, in that there were so many documented instances of steroid use or doping, that no one is taking even the clean athletes seriously. With as close as you are to this particular situation, I wonder what you would recommend that would both be fair to the athletes, and restore the image in the public eye of a fair and untarnished tour.
Incidentally, best of luck in all your future endeavors.
As I am reading this article, there is a news story on NPR about tonight's Major League Baseball All Star Game. The topic is Barry Bonds and how the fans feel about him approaching Hank Aaron's home run record. In this story, like many I've heard or read before, those defending Bond's state that steroids didn't help him see the ball or hit the ball, so even if he did use them , they think his home run record is legitimate.
I disagree. If Bonds did use steroids, the extra strength he gained probably turned what would have been doubles and triples into home runs. Not many people would make a special trip to the baseball hall of fame to see the guy who hit the most doubles or triples in history.
I really wish there was an iron-clad way to prove one way or another if Bonds used steroids. I would feel much better about the sport I love so much to be able like or dislike Bonds based on the man, not the drugs he may or may not have used.
I don't know a lot about your level of cycling, but I do know that in order to do what you do a person has to be in amazing shape. If you are clean, I hope someday you get justice. On the other hand , if you are not clean my heart goes out to the fans of your sport who will lose a big chuck of belief in the sport they obviously love.
I understand there were some procedures overlooked that questioned the integrity of the of the positive lab results. Wasn't that the same thing they tired to pull on Lance? Also what kind of pressure can fans put on these competition organizations like the Tour that seem to harass individuals with their constant manipulation of the rules and leaking out rumors to taint public perception before they have a fair chance to defend themselves through the system? I kind of followed your story in the paper but it didn't seem like you ever had a fair shot at defending yourself.
Regardless I am a cyclist and a big Tour fan. Hope to see you get back on top. I hope you swing threw Wisconsin on your tour so I can get a copy of your book. Thanks for writing and best of luck.
It's a sad thing that your victory in the Tour de France was tainted by the accusations you face. There are plenty of people who would like to believe that you are one of those (few) who did not succumb to the temptation to gain an unfair advantage in the competition. ("Say it ain't so, Floyd.")
You say, "the antidoping system that governs Olympic sports like cycling is set up in a way that's very unfair to athletes-and it's killing the sport I love."
Actually, I don't think that's quite right. Those who are to blame for "killing the sport" are the cheaters who made the anti-doping system--and whatever excesses it may have incorporated--necessary. The whole cat-and-mouse "catch me if you can" attitude prevailing among many athletes is reprehensible. If you're not guilty of the abuses you're accused of you have my sympathy.
I should point out, I'm not at all condemning you at all, Mr. Landis. I don't have any of the evidence to either support or refute your claims. Just laying out the counter-argument. For you and for the good of sport, I sincerely hope you are able to successfully clear yourself of these allegations.
and get back on that bike! :)
Anyhow, good to see you here.
It is as unfortunate as it is true that an accused, once thrown into the crucible of a trial of any type, may obtain a verdict that there is insufficient evidence to support a finding of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, but that such an accused may never be able to obtain the logical alternative of being innocent. Did you or didn't you? I don't know. I wasn't there. I'll never see the evidence. I'll only hear what the accusers want to say on one hand, what the media wants to filter and repeat to me as second hand, and what you want to propagandize as your first hand version. In each of these situations, one could ideally be able to weigh the credibility of the sources. We are, however, jaundiced by many examples that prove the rule that all people have a propensity to lie and, in their own self interest, to lie convincingly.
Yours is a hard path to pedal, my friend. To the extent that you are willing to put forth proof of your innocence, may you find a supermajority that is willing to listen and, more importantly, believe.
In the meantime, go out there and be Great! All the time!
In the meantime, who's been watching the Tour? Deb, it's too bad that the focus on doping has made you not want to watch. The guys racing deserve more credit than they're getting. Cycling is a beautiful sport, and it's worth watching. The race this year has been exciting because it's so wide open. Ok, I gotta go, but I'll be posting again soon.
The one thing to learn from it all is just how pernicious people can be....especially jealous 'competitors' (for the French, it is pernicieux; and a hardcore Parisian pastime ;-)
I wouldn't worry about anything after you get the clearance from the commission...even if you don't. Like my pernicious ex-wife likes to say: "Never explain, never complain" (one of the few things I like to remember about her ;-)
Its true, though....try to move on with your real life. You have nothing to prove. Enjoy cycling, teaching, living life.....and let the tongues wag as they will. Nothing you or I can do will ever stop those kind of people; and like you say, after a dog has tasted blood......
So, my "advice?" Let go of it all....and say: "F*K them, and the horse they rode in on."
Life has so many chapters that we often miss because of the distractions others (and ourselves) place in our line of sight. You have been given an 'opportunity' to view things much differently....
A great read? "The Art of Happiness" by The Dalai Lama.....please read it, and let me know your thoughts.
They say that true brilliance is being able to convert shite into treasure.....'failures' into 'wins'......negatives into positives. Imagine the flip of the dice, once you convert the huge negative energy over this staged drama into something totally different? Be the true winner of a person that you are, and all will flow.....my sage prediction :-) You achieved already so much more than 'expected' by just doing the Tour; now try to sidestep the pile of merde that makes so many 'winners' into nightmares of people. Maybe this pile of merde will challenge you to higher heights.....as a much better person than you ever considered.
Challenges often lead us to new places we never considered before.....so long as we don't let the bastards ever get us down, and we avoid the temptation of lashing out and bitterness. You seem to lack both of these 'qualities,' so run with it dude!
:-)
Justa thought.......
I wish you luck in your search for justice.
I'm among one of your admirers who watched your incredible comeback last year. It was truly amazing to watch and heartbreaking to see the later controversy.
Since reading what you and others have posted, I'm curious; what are your suggestions for revamping the testing process?
It seems to me that for a system that claims to be unbiased, it is really deeply flawed. The so-called secret results seem to have a way of getting leaked to the press and the public on a very regular basis.
So, if you were in charge of the whole shebang, what would you do?
Best of luck on your current Tour.
Thanks for the support. I didn't have any real way of knowing how many people would be interested in reading the book, so the bestseller list was a nice surprise. In the first place, I wanted to write the book to give people some context. Most people only knew about the scandal after I won the Tour, and not about me and how I grew up and the things I did to train to be good enough to win the Tour. If you read the book, you'll see that obviously squirrel pie is a performance enhancer...
About racing, yeah, I have a pretty big one coming up this Saturday, the Leadville 100, a 100 mile mountain bike race in the mountains near Leadville, Colorado. The way the rules work regarding racing before there's a verdict in your hearing is pretty ridiculous. Technically I'm not banned from racing while my case is in progress, but politically teams are prevented from hiring me, and being on a team is critical to success in road racing.
But the Leadville 100 is a mountain bike race, so I don't need a team. The whole race takes place above 9,000 feet in elevation, and there's a total of about 12,000 feet of climbing, so in terms of the effort it takes I'd say it's probably equivalent to a hard 150 mile road race. I haven't trained too much recently with being on the book Tour, but in the past few weeks I've ridden a lot. I feel well and hope to do well, but I don't know who else will be there or how well they've prepared. That's why they hold the race, I guess. I'm really looking forward to it, though. After a year of being on conference calls and talking to lawyers and scientists, it feels great to just be out on a bike ride. After Leadville, who knows what I'll do next.
As you saw in July, cycling and the Tour have a long way to go to restore a fair and untarnished image. In order to get to a point where we have athletes who are trusted, you need to have agencies that can be trusted. Right now, the way the rules are set up is clearly biased against the athlete, and on top of that you have some cases where agencies bend their own rules, and labs don't follow their own standard operating procedures, and there's no fair system in place to hold them accountable.
For background and specific instances of these issues in my case, I would encourage you and anyone else who is interested to visit the web site of the Floyd Fairness Fund, www.floydfairnessfund.org. The organization was set up as a legal defense fund for my case, but it is also pushing to improve fairness in the testing system for athletes.
For just a quick example of a way the system should be more fair: Positivity criteria at different labs should be standardized. There are labs sanctioned by the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) all over the world, and each has its own set of rules--which aren't made public--about what constitutes a positive test. Over the course of months of research, my team uncovered that if my sample had been tested at the lab at UCLA or the one in Australia--instead of the one in France--it wouldn't have been labelled as positive in the first place.
Thanks for the support. Good luck to you, too.
I love that question, "Why should we believe YOU?" Here's my answer: Don't believe me. People shouldn't take my word because they think I'm a nice guy or I smile at them or answer their question. You shouldn't believe me, you should believe the facts. That was the point of writing the book--to help get the facts out there. From the beginning in my case, I wanted to make every document and bit of information I had public so that people could look at the facts and decide for themselves. Read the book, and look at some of the documents on the internet, and then let me know what you think.
Ok, I gotta go for a ride, but I'll be back soon for more.
Floyd.
I respect that you're out there trying to clear your name. Best to you and your family. How do you feel about current talks of potentially removing cycling from the Olympics due to all the drug controversies?
Is there anything the public can do to potentially sway the Olympic Committee? Also, through all of this, how is the relationship between you and Lance Armstrong?
I appreciate you responding to my comment. I was pretty harsh and didn't expect a reply so thanks for that.
I would consider reading your book but I am suspicious that the book was written with the guidance of your lawyers, as having worked for lawyers, I am aware of how adept they are at manipulating the truth.
You do seem like a nice guy, which makes it all the more disappointing to think you might be guilty of cheating. I remember when the news surfaced that Tyler Hamilton had been suspected of a homologous blood transfusion and my sister saying: "If someone as nice and decent as Tyler Hamilton is capable of such a thing, then anyone is."
Being amongst the top athletes in the world, I can imagine there are pressures from all sides. Everyone is counting on you to win. Your sponsors, team management, your coach, family and friends and you only have one chance a year, in the toughest race in the world, to prove that you have what it takes to finish on top. To have your body struggle at this momentous time must be devastating and I can understand the temptation not wanting to accept defeat.
I think it is at that moment that one needs perspective. Even the riders in the back of the pack are fortunate, though they may never win the race, as they are making a living doing what they love, which is 100% better than average Joes like us who have to sit behind a desk and push paper all day, watch the clock and can only imagine what it would be like to even have half the athletic prowess that professional cyclists have. I guess we live vicariously through riders like you and to think you would consider taking the easy way out is extremely disappointing to all of us fans. I think at this point most of us have more respect for David Millar, who is taking a clear stance, than Vinokourov who denies his guilt.
Anyways, it is just my opinion.
K.