Waiting...

The articles about Baby Grace and the wife that was abused, killed as well as her two adult daughters that tried to help her - and the long string of 'death by abusive significant other' made me want to write something small about it.

A person has to keep battling, has to keep trying to find even a glimmer of hope and happiness.  I know that there is more to me than what my ex sees or I see.... more to my life, and some meaning if I only have faith enough to find it. 

So if you are abused, push on - push forward - and push past.  Find who you used to be, find your life, and find hope.

Waiting....

When I was young I remember hiding in the dim corners of the room
... waiting for the next slap, the next insult, the next accusation

I remember looking out the window at night, as I held back tears
... wondering if this was all there ever would be
... waiting for life to some how get better.....

When I was a bit older, I remember most of all, how I tried to forget
... forget things that made me want to die inside...
... forget words and actions done against me that made me feel ...
well made me feel as if I wished to god, I could no longer feel

And I remember these people in my life, going through their day to day
everyone cheering them on, saying how great a person they were
... maybe they need to see them through my eyes, but if for a moment

As I got older, I kept seeming to fall into the same pattern
...bringing people into my life that in one breath said 'I was everything'
... and yet in another, saying how they could so easily take everything away from me, including my life

Some how, I fought through this, dreams forgotten, love denied
... and I keep wondering, what is it that I am waiting for
....what could finally bring peace to my life

As I age on, I keep asking myself this question - and just keep ... waiting

DJ