The little things....

The little things....

So I sit here exhausted and tired

feeling particularly irritated

wondering WHY can I not have the great grand things

others have...

look at those big cars, the homes with the pools

look at the nice clothes and 'things'...

noting a lack of understanding of the word 'need'...

as I look around.....

I trudge out to my car... gently touching the scrape on the right fender

remembering the sales man saying 'oh... well... you can get that that smoothed out'

my reply... oh no.. it gives it.. character.. like an old war horse...

As I stop at a traffic light, I hear something in my car shifting ...

glancing back to see some of my kids old toys

accompanying me to my 'here and there'...

sliding with each turn, in sonance glee...

When I arrive home I walk up to my little mail box

as I open the tiny door I sneer with 'more bills!'

but among these are stickered cards, from my kids (disguised as letters from Santa)

words inside asking me if I have been a 'good mom'

(looking suspiciously like the extra holiday cards from last year).

As I walk into my little apartment, the sounds of my family… fill the air…

one is chirping to the finches with a 'hi-hi-hi'...

two are fashioning paper ornaments to go with our petite Christmas tree

and two are chewing on uncooked spaghetti stick trying to coax me to 'have a bite'.

And I think to myself about how I worry about what others have

comparing myself to them in some distorted fun mirror

when in essence I have so many of the little things

that makes life not quite boring and inherently fun

I've got the tennis shoes in the dryer going thump-thump-thump

Two trying to cook one meal and debating on the 'correct' amount of salt

One is smiling happily as they bring me a hot cup of tea (asking me to ignore the extra sugar)

I have the bustling noise in the morning, as the sun rises

…the rush to share 2 bathrooms

my bottle of perfume that tends to wander around the house

familiar calls of 'where’s a brush'! or "mom she's got my shirt on!"

or the quick doctoring to a proclaimed tummy ache.... (mom, my tummy hurts)...

And as the day draws near, the little ones snuggle up to me on the couch

with a 'no - I want to be next to mom'... little feet vying for space to get closer

A stuffed bunny handed to me with a 'please hold snuggles - he wuvs you'...

…and a nice soft old blanket to share between us

As we watch TV, we each add our commentary…

giggles and laughter feel the air…sleepy eyes, and yawns abound

and as I feel a tiny hand take mine and squeeze (with a I love you mommy)

I realize then... its not the things that we can hold or wear or show off that make us happy...

.... its the little things

Deb...