Every artist is a cannibal, every poet a thief - All kill their inspiration and sing about the grief.
Brilliant, intense, Oscar nominated songwriter and performer…like many artists before him, he was suicidal with a history of depression. The investigation into his death considered the possibility of homicide. Although his wounds were consistent with those that are self inflicted, there were mysterious circumstances surrounding the apparent suicide of Elliott Smith.
I'm floating in a black balloon
O.D. on Easter afternoon
My mama told me baby stay clean
There's no in between
He had been clean for a year (his drugs of choice were alcohol, heroin and crack) and was receiving treatment for his addiction and depression. The toxicology report indicated that he was clean when he died.
You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together
In the investigation, his live-in girlfriend claimed that they had fought that afternoon and she had locked herself into the bathroom. She came out after hearing his screams and when he turned to face her, she saw a knife sticking through his T-shirt.
Give me one good reason not to do it
(because I love you)
So do it
She pulled the knife out of his chest.
I'm through trying now it's a big relief I'll be staying down where no-one else gonna give me grief
mess me around
just make it over
The investigator noted that a person who self inflicts a knife wound normally does not stab through their clothing.
If I seem to be reckless with myself
It's the fault of no one
All things have a place
Under the moon as well as the sun
One more little one I love you
The coroners report indicated that he had defense wounds on his hands and there were no hesitations wounds (atypical of suicide).
I can't prepare for death any more than I already have
All you can do now is watch the shells The game looks easy that's why it sells
He left a Post - it suicide note:
I’m so sorry – love, Elliot God forgive me.
On the note, he had misspelled his name.
Though I'm beyond belief in the help I require just to exist at all
Took a long time to stand
Took an hour to fall.
Elliott Smith was transported to a Los Angeles hospital.
This is the place where time reverses
Dead men talk to all the pretty nurses
Instruments shine on a silver tray
Don't let me get carried away
Don't let me get carried away
Don't let me be carried away
Shortly after his arrival, on the afternoon of October 21, 2003, he was pronounced dead. Rest in Peace, Elliott.
Everybody knows you only live a day but it's brilliant anyway.
recommend this
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 6
I am not familiar with his music, but I do appreciate good lyrics and was blown away by his poetry like words...well written Renee
Barb S aka Mom
I'll never forget the way i felt when I first heard elliott's music, sitting in the cinema at 16 years old, watching good will hunting. Nor will I forget the following five years, riding the tide of Elliott's music. I went from a mopey teen to a dazed twenty-something and always he said it all better than I could have hoped. Then of course i'll never forget the day in october 2003, when my favorite Elliott website went blank and replaced its normal format with a type written farewell. That frantic afternoon at the library, even then Elliott Smith had written, five years before, the exact way I felt at that moment,
"I'm never gonna know you now/
But I'm gonna love you anyhow."
* * *
It's interesting to note, Eliott had been a Philosophy student in college and had a particular taste for the work Kierkegarrd. In Kierkegarrd's either/or (the source of one of Elliott's album titles) he describes the nature of art by likening it to a king who is seeking a jester. The men audition for the king and he passes them over one by one. Then one of them is injured during his act and lets out a cry so beautiful that the king is overcome. To utilize the jester's gift for beautiful agony the king has a pit dug beneath his throne where the jester is turned slowly over a fire so that the king may always be soothed by the jester's cries of pain.
The circumstances of his death are bizarre. Is it being investigated as a possible homicide or have they closed the case?
Just a note to my interest in Elliott...I was turned on to his music a couple years ago after reading a review of "Basement on a Hill" in my Performing Songwriter magazine. The first song I heard was Waltz #2 and it blew me away. He was not only a gifted lyricist, but his songs were very melodic and beautifully presented. His style has been compared with the Beatles, Kurt Cobain and Nick Drake.
I became interested in his biography after buying and listening intently to the songs on Basement on a Hill (which was released after his death). After some web research, I discovered that his death was a big mystery. Elliott was surely a recovering junkie and wrote brilliantly but frequently with an undertone of depression, addiction and reference to suicide. Did he actually do it? No one except his girlfriend really knows. Regardless, it is tremendously sad for all, especially his family but also his fans who were looking forward to hearing more.
Mugg, as far as I know, the case is still open. The LA Detectives could not rule out possible homicide, although they strongly feel that the wounds were self-inflicted and that the note was scrawled in his handwriting.