Late last month, the man I have been calling my husband for over 4 1/2 years made a terrible decision that I honestly hope will haunt him for the rest of his life. I kicked him out immediately, of course, and the police are now in the process of completing their investigation before charges can be pressed.
The children are in councelling to help them better deal with the restructuring of our family and our lives. The little one is having the hardest time of it, as now, everyone she knew from birth is now forever absent from her life. She's crying intermittently, but handling it rather well despite the strain.
I'm really hoping that the councelling will help them both to stop stealing and sneaking food from the kitchen as well as deal with the emotions they are currently facing. With how tight the budget is, I can't afford to go replacing vital ingredients all the time, only to find them hidden and rotting in a drawer on laundry day. *sigh*
I'm exceedingly proud that thay have not decided to take this opportunity to revert in any of their studies or slack off with their education, despite the stresses that have been heaped upon them. I'm giving thanks wherever I can, and taking every small blessing for all it's worth.
We are desperately trying to raise the funds to petition the family court for custody of my youngest (not mine by birth), so that she will be safe and well cared for in the only family she now has, but it's going to cost about $1,500.00. That's the base amount it will cost if I don't have to serve anyone any papers in this or other states, and her birth mother doesn't fight for her. Birth mom hasn't tried to contactact her in over 4.5 years, so I doubt that will be a problem, and her father has already agreed to sign over full custody, so I'm really hoping it will go smoothly.
Social services and the police have suggested that I get the custody paperwork taken care of as soon as humanly possible in order to ensure her continued stability and security.
In similar news, with him gone, we are in need of some extra things for the house, so we're working on saving up to get some sturdy shelving, a mini-fridge, a sewing machine, twin-sized bed frame, a blender, and a small chest freezer.
I'm not even going to start with the fact that my car is starting to poop out and we'll need a new one VERY soon, or that they've both just gone through growth spurts AND changes in their preferred fashion styles. *boggle*
I'm working on writing up a story for the yearly special holiday thing the newspaper sets up, in the hopes that our family will be "adopted" by some generous person or orginization and we can maybe get some assistance with some of this. It's just so hard on my limited disability budget.
What's worse, I'm reading what I'm writing here, and it reads like I'm whining. *sigh* 'Times is hard', they say. *shrug* Sometimes, you just have to say what's on your mind, and to heck with what anyone else thinks, because you just need to say it to someone, ya know?
We're really lucky that the therapy for the girls is being paid for by the Missouri Victim's Center, or we'd be pretty out of luck there as well, especially with me not having the little one's birth certificate so that I can get her health insurance. They're both probably going to need that professional ear to lean on and help for a while into the future. I may be super-mom, but even I have my limits, and two traumatized children (with everything else I constantly have to do) nearly meets those limits.
While my youngest will likely never see her father again, we have had a huge outpouring of help and support from our friends, everything from watching the youngest for a while to helping gather his things out of my house so I can deliver them to him, and more, They've been a true blessing, each and every one. Still counting those blessings, they're more important now than ever.
If anyone knows of any resources I might not have heard of (aside from social services, and begging at the area churches again), I'll gladly take all the help and advice I can get.
Wish us luck!
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More by Kryistina ~*~ Frugal Diva Extraordinaire ~*~ |
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Comments: 33
Listen everything is going to be ok if you just take one day at a time.
As far as your needs goes, have you ever heard of Freecycle? It's an organization in your area that recycles items free through it's members. I've gotten so many wonderful new and slightly used items for nothing. That's the purpose of Freecycle to get items to those that need them at no cost whatsoever. Just go to goole.com and type in Freecycle. You'll be able to find one in your area. Good luck and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
not sure what your needs are for the kids... but I am really sorry for something so horrible to have happened that your kids will never see their father again, and shame on him.. There is not much out there except churches, the red cross, social services, and maybe the salvation army.. there may be a couple other services somewhere in your area, but they differ from area to area...
I too am going through a divorce... and my kids have done pretty well with the move and divorce... we have had our snags, but nothing to make us give up the fight to make things better.
Check out the food banks in your area. They give free food. I wish you many blessings.
Shampoo and toothpaste samples could help out in a bind.
Also visit your local women's shelter, they may be able to help.
Check on the heating programs that are in your area to help with winter bills.
The Angel Food Network is a great place to get food for very little cost.
I'll be stopping off at the thrift stores later this week, signing up for Holiday gift baskets for the needy tomorrow, as well as visiting the local clothing and food bank. I hadn't thought of getting the winter assistance for heating costs either, so I'll be finding which office to contact for sure on that, and signing up there as well.
I'm also going to try and see if I can contact our local legal aide office for help with the custody thing, that was a great idea!
I am checking into finding out if I need a lawyer for sure, but it might be a good idea, since I not sure her if her birth mother will try to fight for custody of her or not. It would be a good idea to have one just in case though. The fees are for the lawyer, the filing fee with the courts, and the possible serving fees for out of state since I might need to serve papers to her birth mother.
I know all about Freecycle though, and the ReUseIt network, I am the main moderator for both of my city's groups. *chuckle* I just don't want to be sending the message to my community that I am greedy. That's what a lot of people think when you post asking for a big list of things.
Littlebit is in size 8-10 now, depending on the make and brand of the clothes.
I'll give you a call later, and try to show up at park day this week if I can manage it with everything else that's going on.
Thank you so much!
I suggest you perform an exorcism on the machine before taking it into your home.
All I know is that the last time I sewed toole for anything (yes it was a Halloween costume, the photo is actually here on Gather too) I did it by hand. Then again, I do all my sewing by hand right now... *chuckle*
Wishing you luck!
oh and moo too.
luv ya'll
The folks filtering the family holiday stories for the newspaper turned down our application, the Thanksgiving basket we applied for had the award letter lost in the mail so we didn't get that, and today we received a denial letter from the legal aide office saying that they couldn't help us with funding the court case.
But, we got some food anyway, thanks to friends, creativity, and fast thinking. So we have a turkey for tomorrow, and things are going to be alright. We've applied for the winter heat assistance, and I'm giving serious consideration to applying for one-time rent assistance so that maybe I could use what I would usually apply to the rent to save up for the court case... I haven't yet decided if that is dishonest, though. Of course the "go for it" argument is that if I spent the money that I would usually have for rent on the court filing fees, then i indeed would not have rent, and would need help paying it that month... *ponder*