This post came from a discussion on one of the local newspaper boards. I thought about it and decided to write about it up. This post was in relation to gang activity and crimes committed by kids in general. I personally do not agree with it at least not totally. After all why should a parent be held accountable for a child's actions. A child cannot be under his or her parent's watchful eyes all the time. It depends, I guess on the age of the child, but a child/teen should be responsible for their actions. In fact, I'll go one step further and say that they need to be accountable for their own actions. It's a job to teach their kids right from wrong and after that, it's up the kids to make decisions based on values their parents gave them.
Kids need to be treated differently based on the choices they make. A kid who chooses right from wrong should be praised. They need to know that their decision was appropriate. If the choice was wrong then they need to be told and punished. The punishment though should be age appropriate. After the punishment, the parent needs to talk with the child about what the child did and why it was wrong. It's also important to keep in mind, that punishments not should be dished out when a parent is angry. Hopefully, if the child is taught correctly and fairly, then as a teen they'll steer clear of trouble.
Kids will be kids and if they do get in trouble, they still need to be punished. Getting them out of trouble isn't going to help them. If a child knows that mom or dad will bail them out any time, they get in trouble what lesson has the parent taught their son or daughter. I think, this is when where the trouble might begin for some. Of course, there is also the times when parents just aren't home to monitor kids. I like to think most kids and parents are good people, so I'm not harping on them. I have seen parents though who act like their kids can do no wrong. Those parents drive me crazy, because those kids are the ones who don't think. They get into trouble and there aren't any consequences at home. Their parents seem them and their actions through rose colored glasses. Still even those parents don't deserve to be punished if their son or daughter gets in trouble with the law.
No parent should have to pay the legal price for their child's mistake. If a child messes up he or she, should pay the piper. Again, I believe that the punishment should be age appropriate. I don't believe junville detention centers are any place for little kids. I don't think hard core prison is any place for teens. Do I think teens are capable of making adult decisions yes, but I don't think they see things as adults see it. Sometimes, I'm not exactly sure how some adults view life. If a child shoplifts, while shopping with their parents. It's not the parents fault. The blame is on the kids. They're the ones who should be punished. I'm not quite sure what the punishment should be, but the parent's shouldn't be fined. The kids need to be fined or whatever the punishment is, at least that is my feeling. I certainly wouldn't want to face a fine or jail time just because of a kid.
It's storming here, so I don't want to lose this, so I'll let you go.
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Comments: 11
To play devil's advocate, I also see many parents who hover and protect their children so much that the kid's honestly do not know how to handle things on their own. They can't make their own decisions or know what is right from wrong.
If parents are to be held responsible, then what responsibility does the child have? If parent's are to be punished in the eye's of the law, that may be appropriate on some cases, but they should not get anything near the punishment as the child.
this brings us back to the times , when someone in your family did something the whole family was either punished or executed... Punish the wrong doer not the innocents. Now if the parent is urging these kids to do this stuff...another story.
So far , none of them did anything against the law
Cheryl - How old is / was your child at the time of the shoplifting? Certainly, there is limit at which a child can make remedy their actions finicially, however, they can pay you back either by taking out of their allowance money or by doing odd jobs for neighbors or family that live closeby.
Misty D. - Those kids of parents who could care less need to wake up and realize that there is a good chance their kids are headed for trouble. It's not a outcome is written in stone. Maybe in cases like that it's okay for the parents to have a wake up call.
I don't believe that it's okay to punish a parent who has really tried to teach their child good manners, good ethics, well you know what I mean for their child's actions. Question is how does the law know the difference between a good parent and a bad parent? How does the law know a child from a good home or a bad home? To your next area, I think children who have been smothered are in just as bad shape as those who are from bad homes. How can you make a good / bad choice if you don't know how to make a choice? Good point! Agreed, when a child breaks a law, there needs to be punishment. If the child breaks a law and the parents have to pay part of the price, then the child should be expected to also pay the grunt of the punishment.
Donna H. - I'm all for zero tolerance.
I think bottom line is you have to pick your battles carefully.