I received a note today from a friend telling me that her financial situation is make it necessary for her to move across the country to be closer to her husband's family. They already have one daughter that was born with a birth defect that is costing them all lot of money to take care. She had to leave her job and while they were barely making it on both their incomes were now reduced to one while she took care of the baby. In the note she told me twice how they could not afford this child, how she was not ready for a child and how difficult their lives have been. She repeated through out how this child was not going to be welcome and I felt terrible for her!
Well, I wrote her back telling her that I agreed with her about this not being a good time for another child because of all the medications she is on for depression and varies other mental illnesses (omitted financial trouble as the cause). What she wrote me back was a note telling me to rot in hell for not congratulating her on her pregnancy and what right did I have for not being happy for her. She accused me if not having any knowledge of her situation and called me a bad friend! In the final sentence she asked me never to contact her again and called me varies other "choice phrases". She blocked my phone number and e-mails and so what happened? Did I really act wrongly in agreeing with her and trying to support her? I feel so terrible now
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Comments: 20
You are a good friend. She'll come around once she figures out how she actually feels about the situation herself. She is probably in mixed emotions and probably switches back and forth by the minute. So she might have responded back during one of those "I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IS FINE" moments.
All I can say, as a nurse, is that people in desperate situations sometimes manifest their stress in unusual ways. If you value her friendship, write back and apologize. Tell her how beautiful having a child is and ask if you can help her in any way. Tell her it's sometimes difficult to know what to say in situations like this and you unintentionally said the wrong things.
If you don't value her friendship, I'd send an apology anyway.
I'm going to it right now. I know I sometimes write very harsh comments. It's not my intention to hurt people, it's not my intention to sound like a snob, but I'm sure I do and I know I need to develop more 'posting' empathy. I am sorry and I apologize if I have over-reached. I only wish to instruct, but I'm a poor teacher.
Im sure you wouldn't be pleased if you told your friend you were having a hard time meeting guys because all the ones your mom sets you up with are not your type. And then she replied by telling you that she agreed, you would have a hard time finding a guy with your weight issues and everything.