by Mary H.
Member since:
August 26, 2006

Pregnant Pause! (Fifty Word Story)

December 07, 2006 03:23 PM EST
views: 44 | rating: 10/10 (13 votes) | comments: 22

 

Setting the timer, she sat nervously, fidgeting. Never having attempted anything of this magnitude, she was daunted by the sheer weight its implications. Pacing the floor, she weighed her options. The timer's beep startled her as she leaned in to examine the object of her worries. The stick read positive!

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Comments: 22

Miz Lynn aka/BooBoo Dec 7, 2006, 3:25pm EST
Hmmm, this could be good news or bad news! Great 50 worder, its all there!
William M. Dec 7, 2006, 3:55pm EST
Great suspence in 50 words.
Tom C. Dec 7, 2006, 3:59pm EST
High tension! Well done, Mary.
Terry Collett Dec 7, 2006, 4:22pm EST
I wonder how many females have had that situation facing them? Good story.
Ronald H. Dec 7, 2006, 4:22pm EST
You always write 50 word stories that send one off down a path, painting a picture that turns out (in the last line) to be completely wrong.

Great job - very suspenseful.
James s F. Dec 7, 2006, 4:42pm EST
Remember the convertible ad years ago.... camrea pans back and a hunk is driving along, wind blowing in his hair, as the narrator intones; you've got plans, you've got the open road, got your wheels, got your tunes (and the radio starts playing 'You're Havin' My Baby') ***reeeeo*** the guy almost drives off the road frantically changing the station, and the narrator says, 'and the dashboard stereo is a nice option' as some hip tunes begin playing.
I always wondered if that ad actually sold more convertibles, more car stereos, or more condoms.
Mary H. Dec 7, 2006, 5:21pm EST
Thanks to all of you who support my musings!

James, one can only wonder, my friend!!!
Aileen F. Dec 7, 2006, 6:54pm EST
It does have a cliffhanger ending, doesn't it?
tina stiles Dec 7, 2006, 8:29pm EST
great little story--nice suspense
amanda wallin Dec 8, 2006, 10:16am EST
This is a perfect example of showing not telling in your writing. I'm starting to get addicted to your vignettes.
Debra H. Dec 8, 2006, 11:48am EST
Very good
John F Walter Dec 9, 2006, 11:46am EST
You set this one up very effectively to guide us toward her thunderstruck feeling, made even sharper by the ambiguity of circumstance here. Title synchs perfectly with content, too, Mary.
Satish Dogra Dec 10, 2006, 2:21pm EST
Mary, the titles of your 50-worders are very well-chosen. Some are weighty, others pregnant with meaning! Nice play on words. And you are a master / mistress at holding suspense till the end.
Edward Nudelman Dec 10, 2006, 2:46pm EST
ha, great one, and the title didn't even give it away (at least not for me!)
La Bellota Dec 10, 2006, 2:48pm EST
This was great.... I am going to have to read more
Corina Carrasco Dec 12, 2006, 9:09pm EST
nice job!
Mary H. Dec 15, 2006, 12:27pm EST
Thanks everyone for reading my work; I appreciate it!!!
Pam F. Dec 20, 2006, 7:55am EST
When I tested to find out if I was pregnant with my second child I leaned down to sit the stick on the counter and it turned double pink before I could even set it down!
Mary H. Dec 20, 2006, 9:40pm EST
Wow Pam, you were REALLY pregnant! It is such a joy!
HGM Moya Goatley Jan 15, 2007, 6:16am EST
Pregnant pause indeed! Great. Moya

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