So. When we had decided to go terrorize London, we figured a place to stay might be real nice. During numerous online searches we happened upon the Adare Hotel in the Paddington area of Greater London. The pictures of the place made it look nice. Not luxurious or anything, but more than suitable for our needs, and the price was only £300 for 5 nights. We figured that was a downright bargain and booked it. We later of course found out that the pound was double the dollar at that moment so instead of a very reasonable 60 per night, we were actually paying $120 per night. We know prices are high in London though, so at that point we were still satisfied with our choice.
Then we saw the room. HA!
Ok, first off, the Adare is located in a great spot. The whole street is like row after row of buildings which have been sectioned off into numerous small hotels. They all look exactly the same. Within half a block, though, you run into a ton of pubs, small grocers, and tourist trap shops. Not to mention the Paddington Station to the London Underground is only a block away. Great as far as location goes.
Not knowing exactly where we were, we grabbed a cab from the station. The driver was not happy. They hate short runs and this was ridiculously short. Then he caved the side of his car in pulling into the very narrow drive. Not good at all.
We timidly retrieved our bags, tipped very well, and walked into the quaint little lobby of the Adare. The desk guy was very nice and we had no problem with the early check in. It is usually 15:00 like most other hotels, but he was expecting us and had the room ready at 11:00. No hassle at all here... yet.
There are no elevators in this old hotel, so do not book here if you are handicapped. The rooms begin on the second floor, which is a set of stairs and a half up. Ours was a smoking room (although there was no ashtray), so I assume both rooms on that floor are smoking. Yep. Two rooms per floor.
We haul our luggage up (we, meaning Lars) and open the door. I fall to the bed in gales of laughter while Lars just stands there, numb. He wasn't amused. I explained what fun I would have ripping this place a new one in a review...
You see, there was a bed. Umm. yeah. There was a bed... that's pretty much it, really. There wasn't room enough for much of anything else. Oh there was a teeny nightstand with two drawers on one side of the bed, and an extremely little TV mounted on the wall in the corner. We're talking like 10" TV, I kid you not. We turn on the TV for the heck of it. Very bad picture, and the sound was like gsssssssssshhhhh. Oh yes. Are we having fun yet?
It gets better.
The cable to the TV (antennae really, there was no cable access) was hanging there off the mounting bracket attached to nothing. There was a spot to put the thing in the wall, but it was like you had to streeeetch the cord to get it there, and then it wanted to pull out of the back of the TV. We got all of 3 channels the entire stay, and those were sketchy at best.
The bed was very old and hard yet squishy. I do not know how to describe the thing but we both woke up routinely with sore backs and necks. The linens were of the yard sale variety.
The bathroom was like a small closet. It was so tight in there that the toilet paper was mounted back behind the seat on the wall so you had to like contort to get to it while sitting on the pot. We're havin fun now, by gawd!
The shower was unbelievably tiny too, of course. Forget about a tub. I mean look here, I'm 5'2" and could barely maneuver in the thing... you can imagine the profanities streaming out of there while Lars tried to wash his 6'6" self. I found it quite amusing, really...
They supplied exactly 2 miniscule bars of the cheapest soap possible. I did use it the first day because I had forgotten to bring my shower gel. My bad. This crap dried my skin out so terribly that I had to go straight from the shower to the heavy duty Nivea Creme and just slathered it everywhere to get rid of that dry skin itch. No shampoo or conditioner, but that is a good thing based on the quality of the soap.
We had a balcony, if you could really call it that. It was very narrow and had only one chair which didn't really fit there. There wasn't enough room to actually, you know, sit on the thing. We found that out on about day 3 when we finally did manage to get the window to open.
As far as coffee goes, we had a small water heater machine that is all the rage in Europe, a few packets of instant coffee, a few tea bags, and not near enough cream & sugar. None of which was ever replaced by the maid.
Speaking of the maid... she made the bed. She changed the 2 stiff, scratchy towels. That's about the extent of her troubling, when she bothered to even show up at all. When we went down to retrieve our own toilet paper, the manager was like oh sorry about that. Skipped you did she? Well, she isn't very good. Errr what? Then fire her already! Yeesh.
Then they start in with the minor hassling. Apparently, the confirmation email we had wasn't formed the exact way they usually are. I had had enough by then and so just looked the guy in the eye and said then you ought to call that company and straighten it out, hadn't you? He gulped, nodded, and that was that. Had there been Internet access here, I might have been less short about it and shot off an email, but there wasn't. So. Heh.
The one bright spot to this place other than the great location was the free breakfast. Mind you, you have to trek clear down to the dank basement for it, but it is a free full traditional English breakfast which includes two eggs (medium), a slab of ham, beans complete with weenie, a baked tomatoe, and lots of toast. It was really quite good, although I got tired of it by the third day.
But I leave the best for last...
The floor. Oh my bloody hell, that floor. This thing creaked and groaned so bad with each step that I seriously had fears of the thing just caving in on us! It was like something out of the worst grade B horror flick you've ever seen. I'm thinking that whoever inspects hotels for licensing keeps giving them a pass because he's simply too scared to go in.
I kind of want to give them 2 stars due to location and the breakfast, but the rest of it was just sooooo bad that you just can't believe it unless you see it for yourself. I am afraid that I must stick to my guns and go with the 1 star for the Adare. I mean the place is downright dangerous. Avoid it. Do stay in this area, just not at this particular hotel.
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Comments: 10
Fun review, even if the hotel was awful.