The Second Sex

"One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman" waswhat actually changed my life at fourteen . Lying innocuously on ashelf at home, flanked by a Freud and a Jung, "The Second Sex" wasenticing if only for greater promises of "interesting" content- therewas a nude woman on the cover. I opened it for a preview into "adult"literature. I read it and became an adult.

Feminism,the equality of the sexes, women's lib- were not mere words. I grew upin a very gender-equal household. My mother, my hero, was very much aperson of substance and the atmosphere at home as far from patriarchalas my parents could make it. But there was the outside world. The wholeuniverse of school with its underlying "women must be good wives andmothers above all" that the convent tried vainly to beat into us, theterrors of growing up and becoming aware of "eve teasing"( what aeuphemism for being made to feel guilty for perverted groping andcatcalls) , the television with its "family friendly- so women need tobe shown their place" content and plethora of views on "appropriate"behavior, apparel that everyone at large threw about. Yes, I was bornfemale, but they were trying to make me inferior.

Andalso the over-compensations that a trying-to-be-politically-correctsociety threw around. "Only one child, but daughters are as good assons" something I had got tired of hearing or the "highest marks amonggirls"( as if they were a rare beast whose every achievement needed tobe lauded). It was confusing. It was painful.And it was very disheartening at times. But then there was "The SecondSex" and with it came the relief of discovering that the dilemma wasnot unique to me alone.

Itwas empowering. The discovery that my sex was not a limitation. That Iwas who I thought I was. And that alone sustained me , indeed sustainsme in trying to be who I am , a person, a complete person.

Somethingwhich, by the very virtue of my sex the universe at large still triesto deny me and others like me. Why else would a female politician be a"token" candidate as the presidency in India has proved- or thedescendant of a political dynasty as the Bhuttos, the Gandhis, theKumartunge(s) have time and again shown. Why else would a HilaryClinton be analyzed on her clothes, her laughter, her tears- everythingbut her politics. Why else would the "goddess" or the "slut" dichotomyexist still into the 21^st century? Or indeed why would woman power be seen as emasculating, when it calls for equality and greater growth for both sexes.

As we gear up for de Beauvoir's birth centenary year, let us wonder how far we have gotten, how far we have to go.....