On the radio show that I listen to in the mornings on the way to work, they had a woman who called in to talk about how she has her 15 month old baby girl on a diet. Her child was NOT one of those babies you see on the talk shows that is two years old, weighs 85 pounds, and eats large pizzas, a dozen eggs, etc. each day. Her child was just an average-sized child. The mom reported that she limits her daughter's caloric intake and that if her daughter indicates that she is hungry, she will simply tell her that she can't have anything to eat because "she doesn't want to get fat like mommy."
This entire thing was so disturbing to me for so many reasons that I have been thinking about it off and on all week.
First of all, I have struggled with "weight issues" for most of my life, so I can relate to this woman in the sense that she does not want her daughter to be overweight. However, I have also worked in the mental health field for eight years now, so I have also seen the "toll" that weight and eating issues takes not only on an individual but also on a family. I am also the mother of a toddler, so I think this hits even more close to home.
I absolutely believe in teaching toddlers and young children healthy eating habits. I don't think that necessarily means denying them food, but that it means helping them to make good/"healthy" choices. I think that we have to be very careful about the terminology that we use with our children and that we should be especially careful about using terminology that focuses on "weight" for several reasons. First, I think that repeatedly saying something like "You don't want to be fat like mommy" sends the wrong message to a child. I think it teaches them that:
1) There is something wrong with mommy (and anyone else) who is fat
I definitely don't think that being overweight is "good" but I do believe that the appearance of a person is not what "makes" the person. We should be teaching children tolerance and to value people for what is on the inside, not what is on the outside.
2) They should have a complex about weight and should worry excessively about gaining weight themselves, which could potentially lead to an eating disorder later in life.
I think that as parents, we should encourage and build up our children and help them to have a strong self esteem
I know that parenting styles differ greatly and that it is a very "personal" decision. These are some of the things that I have decided to do as a parent in regard to eating habits:
*I try to set an example myself by making "healthy" choices and by having healthy choices available around the house. I don't withhold food from my daughter. I do allow her to make "choices" from the options I provide.
*I think that "kids should be kids." I know that some parents are very against fast food in any form or fashion and that is definitely their prerogative. We do have fast food occasionally. We will sometimes meet up with other moms/kids and it provides a nice opportunity for my daughter to socialize since she is an only child at this point. Eating out does not have to be a completely unhealthy experience and I am grateful that fast food restaurants offer better options now than they did when I was a kid. I think Wendy's has the best "set up" for this at this point because they offer sandwiches, yogurt, fruit, and milk as alternatives to burgers/nuggets, fries, and soft drinks. Having said all of that, every now and then we do have french fries (GASP! I hope that doesn't make me a bad parent!!!)
*I think that parents should encourage their children to be active. When they are very young, they can do this through their own example (taking the child out for walks in the stroller, on a bike ride, etc.). When the child is older, they can enroll them in different athletic type classes. For example, my daughter and I just started a "mommy and me" gymnastics class a few months ago and she is loving it. As she is older, we will probably do things like soccer as well.
I think that this article has some great suggestions for encouraging "normal" eating habits in young children:
http://www.thedietchannel.com/Encouraging-Normal-Eating-in-Toddlers.htm
I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on "infant/toddler dieting" and what you have chosen to do with your own children!
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Comments: 15
if you feed a baby, toddler, child HEALTHY then there will never be a need for that child to be overweight or hungry but instead will be a healthy weight for its genetic makeup... not everyone in the world is meant to be a size 2 or a size 20
I too have struggled with my weight all my life but I have the same approach as you, offer healthy snacks, choices and model good healthy behavior. I also make a point to comment on how beautiful my children and their bodies are. I'll often rub my daughters round little tummy after dinner and let her know she made healthy choices for her body.
I do have to make a conserted effort to avoid negative comments about myself because I know I don't feel great about my body. But it feels great when I am rewarded by a little face curling up with me in the morning to say "you are beautiful mommy!"
It's silly to be worried over a 15 month old's weight (unless, like you say, s/he eats cheeseburgers every day and IS well over a healthy weight). After all, toddlers' weight CAN vary; most lose weight or flatline for a while when they begin walking, but some will still continue to gain. Healthy diet and exercise are totally the key, not making your child feel bad about weight. Telling them that 'fat is bad' and it's bad to be heavy is just setting them up for failure, and it also sets them up to be judgmental of others later in life.
Encouragine healthy eating habits would be much better than "putting your child on a diet" so to say.
Thanks for the link, I'm gonna check it out here soon, I bookmarked it so that I could go back and read more of it.
Mel - I can't relate to your difficulties with keeping weight on personally, but I can in terms of my daughter. When she was born, her weight was in the 75th percentile. At each check-up, the percentiles would go down for the first year and by her one year check up, she was only in the 10th percentile. With her, we never went through that "chubby baby" stage and I also got the questions from other parents. I knew that she had reflux, but the doctors wouldn't listen to me and kept blowing me off until that one year appointment! I am happy to say that she is doing a LOT better now and is a perfectly healthy toddler with a healthy appetite! :)
AG - I can relate to the "junk food" issues. I don't eat a lot of it, but my husband loves ice cream and candy and everything else and he has the metabolism to be able to pull it off. I try to get him to minimize her exposure (so he'll eat it after she goes to bed and stuff) but I have to admit that we've been working on teaching her about "sharing" and I think that the "object lesson" that hit home the most was when daddy shared his ice cream with her! She actually gets it now. So, I think it's OK every now and then!
As for a child being placed on a diet, I agree that it's a bad idea. And I don't think you can expecft a child to lose weight without giving good choices. If you're worried about your 12-year-old, leave the cookies and the chips at the grocery store. It's hard enough without watching your skinny sibling chow down! Just MHO!
I totally agree with you, too, about not expecting a child to lose weight if you're not giving them good choices. About a year ago, a mom started coming to Weight Watchers with her son who I would guess was probably about 12 years old. I thought it was so awesome that she would be so involved in helping him lose weight and it was awesome to watch his self esteem just soar as he lost more and more weight!
I NEVER want my daughters to go through what I did. It's important not to focus on a child's (or your own) weight. Focus on "healthy" not "thin" or "fat". When I talk to my daughters about eating healthy, I tell them that healthy foods are good for your body- they help you grow and stay healthy- not that they keep you "thin". Likewise, when we talk about junk food, I tell them that it DOESN'T help them grow, not that it will make them "fat".
I have a 6 month old and am struggling with MY weight problem after carrying him around for 9 months...(how did all the weight go to my THIGHS?)...but I cannot imagine putting him on a diet.
I am, however, trying to get all the "good" foods into him early and keep him away from sugar as long as possible. The poor baby has a diet consisting of squash, green beans and prunes with a rare bite of sweet potatoes of bananas...If only I could eat that well...