Mommy, did you die again? Autism, Social Lives, and Online Gaming

In the past few days, Noelle & I have posted several pictures from Horizons to Autism Families and some related groups we belong to.  What do dragons & online gaming have to do with autism?  Well…

Like many parents of children with disabilities, Noelle and I don't get out much – not socially, anyway.  Taking Alissa to activities or going shopping with her really don't count as social activities.  Dinner together – just the two of us, going to a movie, hanging out & chatting with friends – those are social activities.  The sorts of things you can only do when you have babysitting.  The need for social contact is still there, though.

Enter the online community.  Obviously, Gather is a social outlet for many, but it's not interactive.  Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs, or just MMOs) are highly interactive, with realtime interaction and activities.  Some are science fiction, most are fantasy, some are, well, something else.  Noelle and I started playing Horizons during beta testing, and we were fortunate enough to meet a great group of people.  We stayed together after launch, forming a strong but casual guild.  We looked for other people who enjoyed helping new players and working together on common goals, eventually getting to about 60 active players. 

Here is where the MMO shines: we became friends with these folks.  We shared our struggles with Alissa as well as our joys and triumphs, and the others shared their lives with us.  People would come & go, of course, and we had our share of fights and other family drama.  Our guild became our social and emotional support network.   

The game itself also provided us with entertainment, of course; that's what games are for.  We didn't have to spend huge amounts of time in-game in order to accomplish something, and when Alissa's bedtime hit or she needed us for something, we could leave the game easily. 

Alissa herself became fascinated with watching us play.  She went from cheerleading to backseat driving to wanting to play a character of her own.  Thus, Eethan the hatchling dragon was created. 

Watching Alissa play was fascinating.  She has an excellent memory, but ongoing issues with things like multi-step tasks, reading comprehension, and expressive verbal skills.  She learned to move Eethan around and breathe fire on things, but really didn't get many of the other commands.  So, one day I decided to try to teach her how to loot and to use other attacks besides breathing fire.

I presented it to her as a multi-step task: Breath fire, then dance, then CLAWCLAWCLAW!!  When the piggy rolls over, left click the pig, right click the word "loot".  Sometime she got stuck on dancing, because she loved watching the dragon stand on his hind legs and tail whip the piggy.  So I worked to get her to understand watching the attack icons to tell when her dragon had the energy to dance again.

We worked on her social skills, teaching her to use good manners and not breathe fire on a pig someone else was playing with.  She learned to type messages like "hi' and 'bye' to guild chat, and liked to read it when people were saying "hello" to her.  From time to time, she even initiated conversations with other players she encountered, though Noelle or I usually had to send that person a message explaining the situation.  Everyone we encountered that way understood and was very supportive.

We also used getting to play as an incentive for good behavior at home or in school.  It even helped with her homework now & then; she was required to pick a sentence every night and spell out one or two words from it.  She came up with a number of sentences like, "Dragons are not good swimmers" and "Eethan wants to play in the lava" during her kindergarten year.

She wants Eethan to grow up, as only adult dragons can fly.  We've avoided this as best we can, because we do want to control the environment Eethan plays in.  A flying dragon can pretty much go anywhere, and that's something we're really not ready for.

One game that deserves special mention is Second Life.  It's not so much a game as it is a social club with a very fancy chat interface.  Players can buy – or build – anything they can think of.  If you want a flying pink pony avatar, you can find, build, or buy one.  People can buy land there as well, and build whatever kind of structures or decorations they want on it.  These areas can be public or private, as you choose.  One of these areas is Autism Island.  It's a private area that you need to have the owner's permission to visit.  It's built to provide a refuge for autistic players and their families – a safe, supportive, and best of all, understanding environment.

Online games don't appeal to everyone, obviously.  Nor are all games an appropriate environment for any child, much less an autistic one.  However, they can provide a tremendous entertainment value and open up opportunities to work with your child on life skills, have a family play activity, and meet new friends from around the country and around the world.