Feeling some sadness today....

my step daughter has autism and downs sydrom, and i feel your pain especially with some of the stares we get when we all go out to the stores or park. there are some businesses that will never get another penny from us from the way my daughter was treated there, and there are some that i will travle 40 miles out of my way to go to for the way they went out of there way to help us.

If your child is healthy and happy there is no reason for you to be sad. Their are many parents out there with with very sick kids and would rather have a smiling, fun, happy and healthy child with Autism. You should consider yourself and your child lucky.

Many Children have Autism so many parents knows what your going through.

Oh Jackie! I feel for you! Our little man, Aidan (with PDD-NOS), turned 3 in June. In order to access services over the summer, we had to send him to school shortly after his birthday. Day 1 was terrible, he was in the wrong class (all kids with severe behavior issues and no language...and he was there to GET some social language!) His class was switched the next day, but like your son he is the sweetest little guy and he looked so tiny and lost in that big school! But, I can tell you good things do happen. Aidan became the class favorite, kids fighting over who would sit next to him, etc. He became more interested in them, much more talkative, great improvements in eye contact and the teachers all fell in love with him. But that first week was so hard for me. I think all moms dream about that first day of school scenario, waves, kisses, excited returns home filled with stories. We may never have that exactly, but I remind myself every day how far he's come and that there is hope and progress and happiness ahead. You say your son loves school-that is so great! So, you're right, this journey will be a different one than that of a typical child, but you and your son are on it together, Aidan and I are, and I choose to believe that the life we experience together, for better or worse, is ours to embrace and celebrate. Plus, he's hilarious and so unique, ya just gotta love him. Know the feeling!?

P.S. And if u didnt say your child autistic I would have never known.


Cute kid.

Your son is very lucky because he has you. :-)

Thanks you guys! I actually feel better reading those kind comments. My sadness comes only every so often. I am happy most days, it is just the "starting school thing" that got me sad. (better now!)
Stanley, you are absolutely correct....there are other children who are very ill and I count my blessing every single day. I love my family very much and we are lucky to have eachother.
Thanks for all the support.

I never really went through the grief stage. I am not jealous of other families or feel sad. I grew up with a sibling who was blind and had to deal with a lot from parents due to my sister as she had a brain tumor and became blind after an operation at about age 9 or so.

I raise my kids quite differently and live on the opposite coast as my family. Autism is not a life threatening disease, there are families a lot worse off than those having autism.

It is emotional since your child just started school and you are dealing with separation anxiety, most likely.

Good luck

I have a friend who has a son with Autism. He's 5 Years old and he was one of set of triplets. His other two daughters from the same birth do not have Autism.

This child is so loving and smiling all of the time. His dad had him in the pool everyday this summer, and he never wanted to leave it.

This child knows nothing but warmth and kindness. His parents are so close to him. He is always hugging and kissing them. They are blessed to be able to have such a lovely child.

May you be blessed everyday, and remember this is a gift. A mothers special love.

i'm not autistic, but I was born with a visual disability, and my parents never treated me any differently..it helped me to become a well-adjusted adult...i'm proof that it can happen with the love of good parents....sounds like your little guy is a lucky fella!!

I'm touched. and moved. Think of what God has given you...there is happiness to be found and joy to be shared with your lovely child. I have no doubt God will compensate in due course...you will see.

We had no child for 14 long years! Then one day God smiled, and we were blessed with a princess! She is now 26...independent,full of life...but still a child to me...a joy for ever. God bless you and your family.

It must have been hard watching him go off to school and not having him turn around to say goodbye. You have a right to feel sad, just as any other parent might in the same situation. It sounds like he is a very lucky little boy to have you for a mom Jackie. Every child is a blessing and gift from God no matter how long or short the time that we have them.

Some people respond to what is different with fear some with love. The people that treated you badly has a much bigger disability than your son. Only theirs is not easily seen. It is in between their ears and their heart. God has blessed you and from the way you've written I know that a much larger reward in there it just haven't revealed itself clearly to you. Keep loving and know that both you and your son are blessed to have each other.

Perhaps I should keep my thaughts to myself but no most people only seem to think about themselfs and somtimes not even of there own families, that why we so many children wandering the streets at night and looking for trouble. Your son may have a disability, but enjoy and love him and hopefully this will get you through the rough times and remember there are people out here that do care!!!
Philip

Dont be sad - you both have loads of love!

I always felt sad the first day of school....my little ones were off for the day, and I felt loney for them. After the first week, however....ha ha! I had a LIFE again, for a few hours a day, and I enjoyed EVERY moment of it! Sure was good to see my boys after school, again, tho....they gave me such joy in life!

One of my friends is a child psychologist in schools out in Arizona, and we were talking about autism one day last week because she's frustrated with some of the teachers in the mainstreaming classes and how they misunderstand some of the disabilities kids have in the classrooms.

Anyways, she was saying something about a new treatment/therapy that they're studying now, where they have autistic kids watch slide shows of "typical" people and their facial expressions and body languages with connection to what emotion they are feeling, and I guess it helps them figure out how to better understand what people are trying to communicate to them.

Autism is a lonely disease. Maybe you were hand-picked to be a mom of a child with it because you seem to have patience and understanding beyond the normal mom.?

Thanks Cindy. It does take loads of patience and understanding beyond the norm.
It was just a lonely day when I wrote this article. 99% if the time I have good days.
You guys are great with your comments. His school has a program that takes 3 and 4 year old typical children that belong to teachers and other employees of the school district and basically have a daycare at the school for them. They then are socialized with the special needs kids in hopes that the special needs kids get the socialization and speech from the typical children. I think this is great and we are lucky to have it. So, steps in the right direction.........
Thanks guys.

My son Jacob is 4 also.. he will be five in Dec. he has Autism and at forst i asked the same questions, why him why us...take a look at what your son does, the amazing way he sees the world....I have no doubt that he looked at you before he got on the bus, maybe not at the instant he boarded the bus, thats when he was counting the seats or noticing the shades of color or feeling hum of the engine...he knows you love him and he knows who you are....And god gave you him...because as you said god only gives us what we can handle..which means he has a pretty high opinion of us!
The highlight of my sons day is the BUS!!

Jackie,
Wow, you are a great Mom and a great woman as well. At this stage my typical boy is 26 years old and married. I can say that my lovely wife is quick to remind me and has many times over the years, that were were blessed with a healthy child. I know from reading your article that you wonder about those things typical parents do. But I can see that you REALLY love your child. You will do all that you can to help his development. I have two cousins that are autistic. One became married and has a somewhat normal life. Her husband is a retired Navyman. The other is about my age, 52, and lives in a home with others. She holds and keeps a job. Oddly, the one that is not married always carries a smile on her face. You will be the best Mom your little guy could be blessed with. Of this I am sure!

As long as your child is healthy and happy that's the most important thing. Everything else will come with time.

Thanks, Peter.
:)