Sharing the IEP Experience

I am just hear in your corner cheering you on.

My disabled daughter is in the 13th grade and we struggled with ARD's and IEP's for 20 years. We have never brought a lawyer or other advocate to one of these meetings but I wish we had and we would have if we had the money.

In Texas, unresolved disputes are taken before a representative of the state education agency and if resolution is still not forthcoming, the dispute goes before a judge. In Texas, parents "win" less than 40% of the time! In other states, parents win 80-90% of the time and as one might expect differences are usually resolved to the parents satisfaction at lower levels of the process.

Make no mistake these disputes usually resolve around allocation of resources and the money to pay for them. One basic flaw of the process is that budjets are generally done in the fall and ARD's in the spring. In other words fuds are allocated before needs are determined.

In the ARD's I have attended, the school attends with 8-10 people vs just my wife and me. We have never completed an ARD in one meeting. It is always necessary to rewrite the goals on the IEP to include some kind of objective metrics. The school prefers goals that are vague and subjective, insuring that they will always be met!

We aways insist that the ARD include a staffing or "meet the teachers" meeting early in the school year so we can make sure that the teachers understand the goals and my daughter limitations and special needs. This is particularly critical in years where the child transitions from one school to another such as elementary to middle or middle school to high school.

I could go on and on and on and on............

My advice is to seek whatever clout you can afford.

My son began getting IEP's in 1st grade and I never took anyone with me. I went in well prepared and knowing the cuts in our system ready to fight if they tried to cut his services. For those new to IEP's educate yourself to your childs rights and know what you expect the school to do for them. If you need an advocate bring one, many will do this for free including parents who have been through the fight before.

I am new to this as well - my fiance has a 6 year old son who was recommended for an IEP after his first month in kindergarten - I am curious/anxious/hopeful to see what the new school year will bring - he lives with his mother in another state, so she handles the particulars herself, and reluctently takes our advice on certain points - she has never had her son tested for autism, but after knowing him these past 3 years, I'd have to say he most likely is in the spectrum and needs an IEP - I'd like advice and/or comments from others dealing with similar issues - I want my future step-son to get the care he needs, but my fiance and I feel like our hands are somewhat tied

Hi Prudence-We went through the IEP process 4 months ago for our son (age 3). I think overall, ours was a more positive experience than others have had. It can be stressful and there is alot of red tape, but at the end of the day, it's a legally binding document that will help ensure your future stepson gets all the services he needs-or at least as many as possible. For that same reason, it's important to be prepared, and that his parents are ready to fight for what they believe he needs if it comes to that. Professional assessments can be very useful tools. I'd pass along to his Mom the great advice our OT gave us, which was that NOTHING takes more courage than to stand up and say I think something might be wrong with my child, but the sooner, the better, since early intervention is so critical. We had to push our son's peditrician for a referral for a full developmental workup at Children's Hospital in Boston-and are so thankful we did. That assessment answered many questions, gave us a plan, and started us down the path that has ended with a very comprehensive IEP in place.

My son is 11 years old and has a reading disobility/delay. He has been on an IEP since he was in the 2nd grade. And that is because I requested the process get started in the 1st grade before Ty got any farther along. I have found the people involved with my son's IEP very helpful and thoughtful of my son and it has helped him greatly. At the end of last years school year he cought up to average reading level but will continue the IEP this school year due to the fact his comperhinsin is still below where it should be. I think it's import for parents to know they have to advocate for their kids. If your child is falling behind you don't just have to do what the teacher suggest. There are other options out there such as and IEP!

Have had double the experience with IEP's. My daughter had an IEP several years ago. She had fallen behind in her study and from complication she suffered as a side-effect of chemotherapy for a brain tumor.

The IEP was a wonder experience for her. She was unable to attend school her fourth grade year due to an extremely weak immune system. Her teacher came to our house everyday for 2hours and tutored her, told her about what they were doing in class, filled her in on her friends...it was awesome. We have an awesome school systems.

My step-son Cameron, attends a different school nearby. It was like pulling teeth even trying to get them to consider an IEP. The attitute was completely different. He has a serious level of ADHA.....no attention span whatesoever. He was held back in Kindergarten and it has been a downhill struggle ever since. Each year found a new problem...each year he fell a little farther behind...each year he grade got a bit worse.

Finally, at the end of last school year (4th grade), after receiving just about all failing grade across the board, they decided to take a look at doing something. He know has an IEP for the start of next school year, which begins in 2 weeks. His Father and I are very excited, and hope that this assistance helps.

It's a very smart child. Learning disabilites are not an issue. He has so much to offer and so much to develope. I only hope that the IEP is followed and enforced as it should be.

If your school has a good school system, with loving, caring cooperative staff members, then I do not feel that a lawyer or advocate is necessary, but it your school system does not cooperate or has been draging their feet then by all means, go to the meeting with an escourt..a parent advocate. A lawyer may be very intimidating and whatever you do, you don;t want to break down the walls of communication. Best of luck with the IEP and the meeting. Keep us posted on the outcome.

I have been very lucky with my school district. All of my IEP's and PPT's have gone smoothly. We had a few problems with a teacher when my son was in third grade. I went to the spec ed director when I got nowhere with the principle and after the teacher called dept. of childrens and families twice. She told me that she wanted me to start taping all my meetings, and if they tried to move a meeting to quickly that I was to ask for another meeting, so things were talked out and not just over. She told me that in the 5 years my son had been in this school she knew she had never met me, so this told her that the problem was not me, it was the teacher. I let her know that in her talk with the teacher that she might want to inform her that not only did my lawyer tell me I should sue the teacher for the false reports, but so did the investigator from DCF. The woman from DCRF was disgusted by the reports, and by the fact that even the rpinicple had lied to her. The school actually told them that my son was not in spec ed. Luckily for me I have a copy of his school records and every PPT and IEP.
I have had no more problems at all for the last 5 years, and in fact the school is doing a GREAT job with my son. If he throws a tantrum and the spec ed. lady can't calm him they turn to the school psychologist, if he doesn't get anywhere the principle steps in. So far one of the three of them has always gotten him back on track, and other than a call to let me know what happened, it's taken care of.
I'm really lucky!

My son is 2 and has early intervention. I usually have all the therapists and his social worker (from easter seals) but never thought of having a lawyer come! That struck me as odd. I guess since I have his social worker with me and making sure everything is okay I feel comfortable. Everyone is very nice. Maybe when he gets older it would be a consideration.

I have always went solo or with another therapist until this last year. Bryan is 12, and started Middle School and the teacher was doing things way over his level and would not adapt even with his IEP, so I did get a child advocate. She did go to the meetings with me and probably go this year as well, since my son will have the same teacher for the next 3 yrs.

I have always went alone to my 6 year old daughters IEP's but I now wish I had a lawyer with for the one I went to last year. I was informed by the speech teacher that my 5 year old daughter had a problem with her palate and that it was effecting her speech. That I was fine with but she went on to tell me there was something wrong with my childs face and I burst into tears. After I sat down and discussed it with my husband I really don't think she had the right to say something like that to me but if we were to do anything about it then it would be my word against hers. We are to have another IEP sometime this month and I will make sure that I have either my hubby there or the principal to witness what she has to say.

My son is 10 and is in IEP. When he was born he was only 4 pounds 13 ounces. He didn't start to walk until he was 2 ½ years old. He has had a developmental delay all along. We had early intervention as a toddler and have had support all through his elementary years. Also, held him back a year when he was in Preschool. He is very intelligent, but it takes special help to get a concept through to him. My husband and I both work every night with him on his homework. It is a struggle, but he gets all A's and B's except for his writing. He has a fine motor problem that he has been receiving OT for 2 years, but I don't see any improvement. He hates writing and hates art because it is so hard for him. His drawings look like something a kindergarten child would draw and his writing looks like a first graders. I hope and pray with the help he receives and with time, it will improve. The IEP group says he has a non-verbal learning disability.

Does anyone out there have a child with the same issue? If so, can you tell me how they are progressing? Will they lead a normal life?

I go solo (for now) to my sons IEP's...but before I go I get lots of feedback from therapists and what not...I keep the IEP meetings to very small group....and go away knowing that i can have another if something doesn't feel right...my child my decision...

For IEP (and other) meetings, I take an advocate from ARC (no cost to me), my mother, and the outside behavioral therapist we have for my 6 year old daughter with autism. I am also very well informed and can advocate in my own right. I like having extra eyes and ears involved. The school has been fine about having everyone there. I am polite and reasonably easy to work with, but I know what my daughter's rights are and I document everything. I bring a binder with all of her evaluations, all of her IEP and behavioral plans, pictures of her on the cover (so we remember why we're all here) and my notes of all phone calls and meetings for the school year. They know that I know what I'm doing, and my experience compared with some other parents, is that I have an easier time getting the services we need.

We go solo. We are in the midst of a very unpleasant custody battle. My partners exhusband and his new wife brought thier attorney to the last IEP (spring 06). The only purpose he served was an overpriced notetaker. The school had to reschedule so thier attorney was present, so all involved had to reschedule.
Tomorrow we have an iep for transportation. This should be a 10 minute meeting. All we want is one line added to his IEP "transportation by bus to and from primary residence". This is currently our house. His father and stepmother disagree. The school is tired of dealing with them.
When we normally go to an IEP, we are aware of our rights, and the spec ed director and principal know this. We have received evrything we've requested so far.

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. Noelle - it sounds like I have a similar binder with a photo I change yearly (class photo) and all past IEPs are there plus assessments.

I hope you don't mind my posting here as I don't have a child with a disability. I am actually on the "other side" so to speak as I work as a school psychologist in the public school system. Having worked for five school districts in three states in the past seven years, I have attended many IEP meetings for many children with a variety of disabilities and I can say that some districts and schools handle situations better than others. I think that if you are well-informed regarding special ed law and feel that you can be an advocate for your child, it's great if you can attend the meeting on your own. I love to see parents advocating for their child and fortunately, I have been able to work in many schools where the multidisciplinary team is as "child focused." If you are not feeling comfortable with the way that your child's programming/IEP is being handled or you are not sure of the ins and outs of the special ed process (which can get overwhelming), I also think it's great to have an advocate (in fact, I have encouraged many parents to do this through the years). I think that unless there are major legal issues/concerns, bringing an attorney can be excessive and expensive for everyone involved (when parents bring an attorney, most school districts also require that their legal representation be present). In addition, my experience with attorneys (on both "sides") is that they usually don't have a lot of knowledge about special ed law and advocates usually are more knowledgeable about the laws and the process...

One of the previous posters mentioned that there are usually 8-10 representatives from the school in the meetings and I can understand where that would be overwhelming. By law, they are required to have (at the bare minimum) some sort of administrative representation, a special education teacher, and a general education teacher. If your child has related servers, this would make for an even larger meeting. It is not meant to overwhelm, but is meant to give you an opportunity to communicate with all of the people who are involved with and interact with your child. It provides both parties with the opportunities to ask/answer questions.

Another poster mentioned that they usually have to have multiple IEP meetings to re-write the IEPs. It may be helpful to consider a pre-IEP "staffing" with the teachers to discuss/draft IEP goals or perhaps the teachers could send home draft copies of the IEPs and then you could send them back with your feedback or suggestions...it's just a "thought"

To Bonnie (and the rest of you who posted) I commend you for all that you do on a daily basis and for being committed to your children. I know it's not an easy task!

I like knowing what's going on with Alissa's IEP, but I don't go to the meetings themselves. I get too confrontational, too quickly, and Noelle works hard to maintain an amicable relationship with the school administration.

I think it depends on your school district ... in the begining i never did brought a lawer or advocate to my IEP meetings UNTIL THEY MADE ME FEEL INADEQUATE and they told me that I DID NOT KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT respectfully of course .... however the reality was the school did not want to provide what my son truly needed long story short i got hte best of the best... the founder of the eden institute dr david holmes check him out "lifespan services" and yes i am sure we will get what he needs it is just unfortunate that we have lost 2 years of his life ..