by Jim Ross
Member since:
July 9, 2006

Severed Daffodil

February 20, 2008 01:38 AM EST
views: 58 | rating: 10/10 (22 votes) | comments: 34
Born special with a neck rising from a crouch to corona pride;
Beauty spreads with each yellow flower in the trumpet
Until the strain of time living immersed in a false lifeline
Overpowers the flowering thrill and death claims the last petal
To drift to the marble plinth beside the sustaining crystal vase,
To lie in withered grace, beauty on beauty, lovingly extolled.

Copyright 2008 Jim Ross
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Comments: 34

Jennifer Kirkpatrick Feb 20, 2008, 1:45am EST
I like this, Jim!
Jim Ross Feb 20, 2008, 1:47am EST
Thank you, Jennifer. I'm glad you do.
Jim Ross Feb 20, 2008, 1:48am EST
Thank you, Margo.
Tory H. Feb 20, 2008, 1:48am EST
Beautiful words, lovely imagery.
Jim Ross Feb 20, 2008, 1:50am EST
Thank you, Tory.
Cameron E. Feb 20, 2008, 2:06am EST
Excellent
Carol Roach Feb 20, 2008, 2:15am EST
it flows so well
Cheryl B. Feb 20, 2008, 4:42am EST
Very nice Jim. :)
Gerry Wass Feb 20, 2008, 7:49am EST
I really liked this one too, Jim. It makes me awfully hungry for our cold winter to end and the first daffodils to start the blooming season. I'm going to have to look up "plinth!"
sheila ~the hapless housewife~ j. Feb 20, 2008, 8:24am EST
really great!
Ann R. Feb 20, 2008, 9:00am EST
I love the first line. It really captures the spirit of the daffodil. When I read the title I thought, this will be about the squirrels or deer breaking them off...which is what happens to most of mine.
Anne B. Grote Feb 20, 2008, 9:46am EST
great tribute to a lovely, graceful flower.
Jim Ross Feb 20, 2008, 10:02am EST
Thank you, I Song.

Thank you, Carol.

Thank you, Cheryl.

Great, Gerry. Winter sure can linger! A plinth is a pedestal (in this case, marble) used as a base for objects.

Thank you, Sheila.

It sure will be nice when they begin to grow, Jim. Thank you for the nice comment.

Thank you, Reena. I can picture them in a little gold rush town nearby called "Daffodil Hill".

Thank you for sharing that fact, Ann.

Thank you, Anne. They are indeed graceful.
Kamran Qureshi Feb 20, 2008, 11:06am EST
very nice! I love daffodils as well.
Mary Sue Searles Feb 20, 2008, 11:06am EST
The long lines of your poem enable the vision of the daffodil's "neck rising from a crouch to corona pride," and give a real sense of time in "time living immersed," plus the "sustaining crystal vase" fits this beauty-time-lengthened poem. It is lovely and visual, and gives a feeling of peace.
d g. Feb 20, 2008, 12:20pm EST
The beauty of a quick life. Daffodils are my favorite, bright and daring!
Coffee Lady Feb 20, 2008, 1:41pm EST
Jim, your Servered Daffodil is a sunshine-beauty that I do look forward to - each year.

You have so tenderly presented the" withered grace, beauty on beauty, lovingly extolled" helps me, a human person, not so afraid to go forward with this life! I mean, if the lovely daffodil can be graceful -- then maybe so can I! Make any sense? .... well, it does to me...

Your grateful Friend
CoffeeLady
Alison Pearce Feb 20, 2008, 5:00pm EST
Fantastic!
Jim Ross Feb 20, 2008, 7:53pm EST
Hi, Kamran, thank you for the nice comment.

Thank you for that insightful read, Mary; I'm glad you liked the poem, and thrilled the technique bore fruit. I will carry the smile your comment gave me, for hours.

Beautifully spoken, d m. Your words about the flower echo.

Beauty is a treasure wherever it is found, CoffeeLady, and in a person's soul the beauty transcends all. Thank you for the compliment.

Thank you, Alison.
sheila h. Feb 21, 2008, 4:31am EST
That is beautiful,Jim.
A portrait of time in the portrayal of the life of the daffodil.
a symbolic message of life transformed and the beauty that prevails...
lovely.
Jim Ross Feb 21, 2008, 4:13pm EST
Thank you, Sheila. I really appreciate your nice compliment.
Mariana T. Feb 23, 2008, 3:41pm EST
Oh I think of flowers just as you do my friend, Jim...
this was a beautiful and lovely piece - I love the rhythm - and can visualize just this metamorphis...Salud.
Jim Ross Feb 23, 2008, 3:49pm EST
Salud, Mariana. Thank you for a wonderful compliment.
Jo C. Feb 23, 2008, 5:47pm EST
I wish I could writes something more intelligent than "I really like this very much and yet I'm not sure why" but I can not. It is the simple truth. I like this very much and yet it is like certain works of art that "speak" to me but which I can not really critique. I just like them.
Jim Ross Feb 23, 2008, 7:11pm EST
I appreciate your very visceral response to the poem, J. For all the virtue of analysis concisely expressed, the conciseness of a nice warm glow is very appealing. Thank you for enjoying the poem in just that way.
Nancy N. Feb 24, 2008, 7:43pm EST
Love it.
Jim Ross Feb 24, 2008, 8:10pm EST
Great, Nancy. Thank you. :-)
John F Walter Feb 24, 2008, 8:27pm EST
I love the way you extend the development of this single image to a crescendo in the extended breath, Jim, finding a small triumph of the imagination--¨beauty on beauty¨--in the withered ephemerality.
Jim Ross Feb 25, 2008, 1:30am EST
Thank you for the compliment, John. I appreciate any triumph I can get from a poetic event. ;-)
Sheila Deeth Feb 25, 2008, 2:57pm EST
Very sweet; the whole of the flower encapsulated.
Jim Ross Feb 25, 2008, 8:40pm EST
Thank you, Sheila. I'm glad the picture was that clear for you.

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