First of all, thanks for the encouragement and help.
To the poster who said I should get married-I was married once. It was the worst experience of my life, and one I'm not eager to repeat. Although I agree it would be helpful, I do not want to get married for the wrong reasons.
As far as getting an apartment, we almost did, when we found out my BIL was moving in. (I know he's not technically my BIL, but its easier than typing "boyfriend's brother"). But then my boyfriend told his mom we were moving out and asked her if she'd be ok, moneywise. She said sure, there were a lot of things in her budget she could cut out. I thought, great, lets go! But my bf wouldn't hear of it! He just couldn't let his mother strugggle to pay her bills while his brother slept in her bed for free. I can understand that, but I also think my bf's responsibility is to us, now. His mom can and should take care of herself. Also, my bf is way too picky. He found fault with every place we looked at. I understand we have to start out small and work our way up, but I can't convince him of that. I keep telling I'll be happy with a cardboard box on the street, as long as it's ours. If I can eventually convince him of that, great. Until then, I'm gonna keep saving for a house.
As far as a daycare at the house, that's another great solution. Unfortunately, my MIL took a fit when I took in the one child I am watching now. "You have to ask me before you bring other kids in this house!" is what she said. Then why didn't she have to ask us if my BIL could move in? I have been asked to watch two more children, but I doubt my MIL will go for it. At least I can keep the money I'm making now. My bf did say something about giving more to his mom, but I haven't given him any yet. It's going to pay off my student loans.
Another solution would be for me to get a job, but since I don't have a degree, I wouldn't be able to get one that paid more than daycare would cost. And when I suggested getting one at night, my bf said no because I would never see him. Right now I am taking online classes towards a nursing degree, and when the girls are in school, I will go back to work.
Some days I'm ok with it, but other days, like today, the situation really bothers me. I'm just trying to stay positive and do everything I can to change it. Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated!
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Comments: 10
Your boyfriend needs to realize (and I know it will be hard for him to) that his mother is a grown woman and that if she wants to let his brother live there for free then that is her business. He cannot be responsible for his brother. It is admirable that he does want to help his mother and brother out. However, they are both adults and need to step up and like adults and at least try to find a way to support themselves.
I know it is a hard situation to be in and I wish you all the best.