My father has sold leather, for as long as I can remember. He has a wide range of customers who buy from him.
When I arrived last year Dad was dancing around the house with a little thing in his hand, it had some sort of straight handle, and some little leather strips at the end of it. I didn't know what the heck it was, or what use it served. Dad proudly passed it around the room. "This is what Barb got for Christmas this year!" Barb is my step-mother.
"What the hell is that," I asked.
Dad handed me a business card to pass around the room.
SPANK!! Fetish, BDSM, Bondage, and it listed a number of other things that I thought to be way too much information.
Not knowing what to do with these items, and wanting to get them out of my hand, I passed them to the person who was sitting next to me, only to look up and realize I'd just relieved myself of these items by passing them to my Grandpa (Dad's Dad). YARG! He just kind of looked at them and passed them to the next person. They got back to the other side of the room and landed on the table. "Be careful with that card" Dad said, "Don't lose that card, it has the phone number on it!"
About that moment Samantha and her kids arrived. 5 year old Lexi picked the little thing up on the table and said "Neat, Grandpa Doug, what's this thing for?" She calls my father 'Grandpa Doug.' About tha time Barb came in and suggested that Dad let her put her new toy away, and get it away from the children.
Grandma and Grandpa laughed, but were probably as embarassed as I was. Barb's mother and I just looked at eachother. Barb's grown children didn't want to know.
It was about that time I mad a run for my safe haven, when I'm there; Dad's office. I turned on my laptop, picked up his phone, and called my Sweetheart in AZ to let him know what had just happened. He agreed with me that it was the tackiest and one of the most embarassing things a parent could ever do in the presence of their children, parents, and other relatives.
This year, Mom's family is driving me insane, and Dad's extremely well behavied (for how long I don't know...) and I'm actually looking forward to the drive from Guelph to Scotland tomorrow, as the calmest part of my holiday. SCARY!!!!!! When my mother's family starts to make my Dad look NORMAL, I know it's cause for alarm.
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Comments: 57
Merry Christmas.
don' let them get to you!
your dad is a riot! i think that is really funny but totally inappropriate! it is one heck of a christmas memory, thanks for sharing!
Actually Scotland is a little town in Ontario just outside of Brantford. Dad lives there, and is going to pick me up on Christmas morning and drive me there, and I'll get a ride home with someone else. I'm glad you got a laugh out of this.
OH MY GOD!!!! That's even worse than my story. I feel A LOT better. It sounds like he had more than A BIT too much to drink. LOL
Whenever I buy lingerie I save those cute little store bags and use them for Christmas gift bags for male relatives who have annoyed me during the year. I think I'll put Dad's gift in one this year, and if he asks, I'll ask him what the problem is, since he should be used to suggestive gifts, by now. LOL
I love the stories about your family. It is filled with so many unforgetable characters!I was going to ask the SScotland question?
Oh my, I'd have needed professional therapy after that one! It's amazing the kinds of things some people feel comfortable talking about, let alone with their family members present!!!
I hope you manage to have a Merry Christmas no matter what happens, Leah. :-)
I guess I'll have to ask my Dad what that is, when I go tomorrow. LOL JUST KIDDING, I know what a dildo is. tehehe
I'd LOVE to know how you reacted to that one!! Wouldn't a gift like that from the boss be considered sexual harassment?
Not all guys think going to get feminine products for their ladies is bad. Think of the older guy who was fortunate enough to land a younger woman. The monthy trek to buy tampons is his chance to brag to his buddies about the hot babe he landed, and also his chance to prove to her father that he did NOT get her pregnant (yet!!!)
As father of 6 daughters and having sever ex-wives, it's much scarier if you're NOT asked to buy them one month. It always amazes me how a guy can count to 28 better than a woman.
(...and yes, the toilet seat was permanently epoxyed in a down position.)
I also remember once as a young man buying condoms. This little old man was running the register at the front so I got in line. Just as my turn came up the man went on break and a hot cutie about my age was doing the checkout. This made me a little uncomfortable especially when she gave me a sexy smile and said "planning a little party tonight?"
from what she told me, i guess they were made from plywood and scotch tape.
Your reply to Ron made me laugh my ass off!!! You have a fantastic point. Men need to start worrying when women STOP asking them to buy s tampons!! LOL
I'm happy to note that Dad didn't break out the BDSM gear this year. LOL Thank GOD!!!!!