My Tarantella Tale 2003

I was hanging our clothing to dry in the September sun with my 3 month old son sleeping soundly in his sling.  It was terribly hot and the mosquitos and flies were bothering.  As I hung the last of my baby boy's nappies I came across this huge spider.  It was yellow and black and most frightening of all....it was big.  Baby eating big.  I am terribly, ridiculously  frightened of spiders and this spider had us cornered.  I just knew it was poisonous and likely came equipped with baby digesting enzymes in its little fangs.  I felt paralyzed....but I had to protect my son.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shovel and I lunged for it with every fiber of my being. 

I smashed it once.  It came back to life.  I smashed it again, at least 20 times.  It crumpled.....but then miraculously, it came back to life.  I knew then what I must do.....obviously to me, this spider had a craving that only my son's baby flesh could satisfy.  SO with all the courage I could muster, I smashed it again with the shovel and jumped on top and squish, squish, squish.  Babies 1, Spiders 0.

Finally, finally my male neighbor surfaces and I show him my kill.  He gives me a beer....now I don't drink...but I took a small sip this day.  For I was the spider killing baby protector.  (side note:  the boy slept through the whole ordeal)

Next day I went to work and I told my work partner about the assuredly poisonous man eating spider that I had vanquished over the weekend.  We decided to look it up on the internet to discover something that made me incredibly remorseful.  Number one, there is only one poisonous spider where I live and it is small and brown.  This one was black and yellow....and did I mention big?  Number two, my victim was a harmless garden spider.  Their diet consists of the mosquitos and flies and other flying disease bags.  And I killed it.

My work partner look at me....sensing I was having a huge moment of remorse and guilt...and said.  "Yeah, Heather.  God probably said, look there is Heather and she needs a break, let me send her a spider to help her.  And you smashed it.  Then he probably said....well, let a miracle occur...let me bring the spider back to life.  And you snuffed out the miracle permanently." 

I lamented all day....all week.  And then I resolved...the spider and I must be friends.  Ok, ok that would be taking it too far.  But I did make a promise to God and the spider that I will kill no more spiders.  Ever.

I did not say I would not enlist the help of a manly man to do the job for me.....but as for me, my spider killing days are over.  And when I ask for help, I always offer an option...can you kill/shoo a spider away for me? 

Sorry Mr. Spider.