New Get Tough Energy Policy

New Energy Proposal

During the second presidential debate, John McCain often said, “I know how to do that” concerning a wide range of topics from catching Bin Laden to exposing the truth about UFOs. I am too much the humble citizen to say I have a full, robust answer to the energy crisis, but I will offer a partial one.

It will be a creative approach, and while our government is not always smart, it can do well at being tricky so I think we can pull it off. Let me explain.

The proposal revolves around Alaska and the Alaska Independence Party. To address any misperceived partisanship, I do not think Governor Palin is a member of this party. It appears her husband “may” have been a member years ago, but that does not matter to me.

Here in brief is what the party is about.

From their website, akip.org, “The Alaskan Independence Party can be summed up in just two words: ALASKA FIRST!

Until we as Alaskans receive our Ultimate Goal, the AIP will continue to strive to make Alaska a better place to live with less government interference in our everyday lives.

The Alaskan Independence Party's goal is the vote we were entitled to in 1958, one choice from among the following four alternatives:

1) Remain a Territory.

2) Become a separate and Independent Nation.

3) Accept Commonwealth status.

4) Become a State.”

Okay, so what. Here it is. We have to make sure that this vote takes place and that #2 is the winner. You can see what is wrong with numbers 1 and 4. Number 3 would just make them part of Canada and would be the worst choice of all. It would just give those socialist Canadians more money for free facelifts.

How are we going to influence a state election? I don’t have those details but think it will take a joint effort of ACORN and the CIA. I suggest McCain and Obama get back to DC pronto to hammer out the details.

After the election, we invade the new country and take their oil. At first glance, this proposal may seem rash, but think about it. Alaskans are not like you and me. They are rich. Much is made of how Palin is popular. Our governor would be popular too if we had no property, sales, or income tax, and the state sent us fat checks just for existing. 

Alaska is like Russia. The rest of us are like Cuba. They are like our yuppy brother-in-law who has the vacation house at the lake. We are like the folks in the box under the overpass.

I know it will not be easy. We have to avoid mistakes of the past. We cannot expect to be greeted as liberators. Alaskans seem like a feisty lot, and won’t be glad to see us show up for any purpose I can think of. Flowers thrown in our path? Unlikely.

Alaska has a population of about 500,000 and they have about 2 billion guns, so we cannot expect it to be easy. Another problem is that Alaska is really BIG. Think looking for Bin Laden has been hard. You have seen nothing. It will probably take two years just to find the Alaska National Guard, and the war could drag on for 35 - 40 years. Patience will be required.

I know it will be hard, but that is what tough times require. Drill, baby, drill will not do it. It is time to try Take, baby, take.