The Scaffold - Poetry Please - Cage

Mike, this is a very interesting poem. You are a talented person. Thank you for sharing that talent with us.

Thanks for sharing!

Worth more than one read! Thanks for the email, Mike...

Superb!

I thought this was excellent, Mike.

Thanks.

Ooh. Very nice Mike. Lovely image. Lovely interpretation.

Wow that was just beautiful, thanks Mike...

There was a time when the scaffold so nurtured the temple that it couldn't have survived without it. Nice response to the prompt Mike.

From that first word-question on, just delightful. Enjoyed the rhymes, especially how served-curved stood out in just the right way to highlight that great image.

I like how in the reading I became the one who was caged and keenly felt that rage.
I thought of a great human sculpture.

Brilliant, a visual poem, well done

I ECHO Karen and Janét ~

The Scaffold ~ need BE ~ breaks out . . .

Meeting FREEDOM by leaving the cage.

Amen.

Mike ~ excellent poetics in the deepest senses of the soul ~ touching those whose name is attached to the "Scaffold" and holding those who cling until the TIME.

Blessings ~
René

wonderful

Very good :)

very cool! I like all the parts constructed

Quite a wonderful piece, Mike. One of the things I like best about your work is its exhaustive cataloguing to built (no pun intended) your story. The only thing that didn't work for me, and disturbed your flow, is the two-dot elipses at the end, unless this was a mistake. This makes the reader stutter before the end, when you should be confident enough to just let it flow to the rhyme, without having to draw attention to it. Most excellent. It reminds me of something; when the Washington Monument was being cleaned and having some brickwork repaired. Everyone here thinks it's the most ridiculous monument, but when they put up the scaffolding, and lit it up, it was just beautiful. It made us look at it in a different way. We were all so disappointed when they took the magical scaffolding down, revealing the boring, middling monument once again.

Indeed coooool !!!

I really liked reading this work. Lending a voice to something that normally would not be able to speak is something that is hard to do well, and I think you succeeded beautifully.

Well done. I don't know if you meant for this to be a shape (concrete) poem as well, but you certainly succeeded quite admirably. I love this line Shuddering in her claustrophobic rage. Great imagery.

Yes, the shape is fun, but the word choice and tightness of the poem are superb. I'm ranking this among your best, Mike.

Well, Mike. I'm probably wrong when / as I read this. For me, this was a really big poem.
It was the story of my life...my spirit caged in this external structure or an "espiritus exterior echo" of the body. We become enraged when the scaffolding fails us in illness, battle, or energy/strength; It allows us to grow, yes; but we will spend our days fighting our physical cages to make them perform as well as structurally possible--but that cage grounds our spirits to this plane, and traps us with the weightfulness of the world--when we'd rather soar like eagles, spiritually.
Finally, fed up with the physical restraints of spirit. We. Burst. Free.

Well, that's my take on it, and reading it as such, for me, it is indeed your best work (and that is saying a hellava lot!) to date.

So I thank you for this poem, which I may print, and stab to the fridge, when I feel my scaffolding craving another "plank or spigot" I can tell it to "Hush. You're just a ladder."

Smiles & blessings shooting out to you.
Wilka

Excellent!

Congrats on winning !!!

Congrats Mike!

I enjoyed the reading and re-reading of this piece, Mike. The first word "Superficial?" grabbed my imagination and the rest of the verse filled it up with the sight of the scaffolding. Excellent work.

Thanks for all the positive comments and encouragement.
Actually the shape of the poem was entirely fortuitous, but I see what you mean. It's a sonnet, basically, with five feet per line (although it is not iambic). I used envelope rhyme to reflect the content.
Wilka, your reading is wonderful and valid. An alternative interpretation would be to see it as a metaphor for a doomed relationship. Actually, the relationship between the body and the spirit is doomed, now I come to think about it......I think I'll go and have a cup of tea.

Absolutely wonderful!! ;)

Oh, wow. I do like this. Wonder what Michelangelo would think of this poem. And you used something as cold as steel in a poem to expose such strong desire for freedom.

Congratulations! Great win.

Congratulation on a fine poem

A wonderful write! Congratulations on your win:)

Mike. Came back to read this again. (I know, faint praise) but I was drawn to it.
Caught your comment about basing it on a relationship echo--and it took on a whole new slant!
Now, THAT darling man, is the sum of good (really good) poetry. That you can read it one way, and then another...and have it be meaningful three ways from home plate!

Before, it was my personal structure in the universe.
NOW, it is my marriage. (well, shucks. I guess, thanks for THAT! (((smiles.))))

So....I guess I have to go re-read it from the parental perspective. Them as the structure, ME as the mom (scaffold.)
Dang, I'll be at this all night!

Blessings,
Wilka

very innovative,.. the detailed description increases the tension and need-to-know... and the reader is rewarded with a stellar ending. Great one, Mike!

Wow, Wilka....you're right! It works from the parental perspective. I really hadn't thought of that (and I have four children!).....I must be an insensitive parent. Thanks for re-visiting.

A magnificent poem. The choice of words and the structure needs to be admired as they create the mood so suited to the essence of the poem.

'Shuddering in her claustrophobic rage,
Craved freedom from the confines of her cage'....

The ending is awesome. Great work, Mike.

I'm always a sucker for lines that build one thing on the surface and another thing on the inside (depending upon which door you enter through), not to mention the many rooms a reader might float through to get there -- so count me in as a fan. Nicely penned!

Love it

Wonderful, Mike.
I read and then read the comments - and then re-read again, as I could feel the claustrophobia before I read that line in the poem of it. After reading Wilka's comments, I had to go back and read it all over again and also felt (I think) something of what she did also. Multi-layered talent you have!
Marilyn

I like this.

Great poetry. Thanks for sharing it. I like when poetry (like this) can mean different things to different people. For me it was a metaphor for a child being brought up by a caring, very protective parent.

I like the image created by the line: "Dependent on the structure that it served,"

Trust me, when you become a parent, your child becomes the very purpose for your existence.

However, there comes a time when the parent has to release the child from his confines. The child is always impatient for that release; at times even rebelling against the parental control even when it is appreciated.