Behind the Mask - The Truth about Truth, and Meeting Corina

I had been thinking about the “masking” of individuals, and had planned on writing this some time ago. There’s something intriguing about the façade that we face when dealing with people on a day to day basis. The internet has become an obvious stage for us to become something else, like actors in a drama. Just like in “real life,” people we meet on a daily basis may not know what is behind our behavior.

What started me thinking was reading a piece by Nicole P. She had written a beautifully told story of her family life, the life of the P’s. I had been struck by the honesty and clarity of her words. I thought to myself, how wonderful it was that she could reveal something so close to her, and could relate the story so well. Like the peeling of an onion, we all got a much closer look at Nicole and her brood of Ps.

Then some time later, I thought I would write a “masking” or “unmasking” article after the recent Gather Wars, heretofore known as G-War III. During this tumultuous time, several persons revealed themselves and Gather to me. Again, I found their candor quite revealing, and in many ways very refreshing. The lifting of the veil showed both the good and the bad. It then became clear to me what G-War III was all about. The revelation also pointed me toward new solutions and a resolve regarding writing which I would not have otherwise found.

There is something freeing about not only the writing, but the flimsy cloak of anonymity that the internet affords. You can be another person, a bigger person, with different hopes and dreams and realities than those of your own boring and mundane life. Personally, I can’t live behind the mask, nor could I ever. I have a hard enough time dealing with the person I am in the life I’m dealt with, such as it is. I don’t have the time or the energy to be anything else.

Since high school, I’ve been on the search for the Truth. I needed Truth, both in the universe at large, and truth even closer to home. Perhaps it’s because of the era I grew up in. When you graduate from high school with Viet Nam, Watergate, and the resignation of Nixon looming large, you tend to crave authenticity. After all, if the inside of my head is not genuine, how can anything else I do or say be? My life has been a constant series of unmasking the real me. Therapy helps, and you won’t ever see me totally naked before you. I’ll leave that day of reckoning when it’s just me and my maker.

Sunday afternoon, I had the pleasure of meeting another Gatherer, Corina Carrasco. I was in San Francisco visiting my son and extended the invitation to meet with several people in my network. (If I didn’t meet with you yet, I’ll be back!)

I was drawn to Corina’s writing because it can be grossly poignant and heartrendingly strong. Her snowstorm story was both terrifying in detail yet full of hope. There’s a strong woman deep inside there, who conveys a level of uncertainness and vulnerability in her situation.

When I met her at the mall in Corte Madera, she was not as I expected, and also just as I expected. She’s quite petite, and I have to admit I thought she would be taller. A person with a voice such as hers must certainly tower over me!

Sitting down to lunch, and starting to speak, however, it was as if we had been friends for life. Actually, speaking with Corina was like looking at my own life through a mirror. We are the same age, and though we were raised in different parts of the country, had amazingly similar experiences. Like me, she went through loss of love. Like me, she’s spent a career’s worth of time and effort raising children. Like me, her youngest is 16. And like me, she is wondering what the next step will be in her life.

We chatted for hours, like old friends. Only nervous waiters hovering and looking to shoo us out and the fact that my rear end fell asleep on the uncomfortable wooden chair reminded me that we had possibly been there a little too long.

Our masks were removed, and behind them are the faces of real women, who are different but the same. I didn’t have to meet her in person to know that the “real” thing was before me.

This leads me back to the beginning of this story of unmasking. It’s true that some people here and elsewhere are not as they appear. It’s true that even the most honest of us has probably one or more things to hide, whether it is our identity, our age, our alliances, our whereabouts, or our personal lives. It’s also just as true that there are many who will peel back the layers of their being, either for themselves or for others, to reveal the special person that is behind the mask.