Between Paul Newman Dying and Universal Studios Developing A New Skyscraper In Peril Movie, It’s Time for Cable to Break Out ‘The Towering Inferno’ an Irwin Allen Production

God, there was a time when I loved, LOVED, LOVED these sorts of films.  Disaster movies such as 'The Towering Inferno', 'The Poseidon Adventure', and 'Airport' were so damn tasty.  Their movie posters screamed cinema SPECTACULAR!  In the case of 'The Towering Inferno', it was exciting to look at a burning skyscraper, squeezed from all sides by a plethora of stars from all celebrity grade levels.  

Currently 'The Towering Inferno' is on cable rotation on Cinemax.  So you have to ask if the producers adhered to the tried and true disaster movie formula.  Were there at least two A listers?  Paul Newman and Steve McQueen - check, check.  The movie also had Faye Dunaway who played the all-important role of Susan, labeled "the girlfriend" on the movie poster, a woman who must choose between becoming an editor of a magazine or sharing marital bliss with Newman.  I believe at this time, 1974, Dunaway was an A lister, she was two years away from receiving her Academy Award for 'Network' but  20 years away from being a judge on the reality program 'The Starlet' which apparently was so lowly rated it only lasted four episodes.  Yet, for the benefit of the doubt, I'm going to say 'The Towering Inferno' starred THREE A listers. 

Of course, this film also had its share of people who never quite made it into movies but were fixtures on private detective shows that were ever so numerous in the 70's such as William Holden, Richard Chamberlian, Robert Vaughn and Robert Wagner (note that the Roberts could be interchangeable).  Oh, and you had to have the tokens.  These movies always had some person from "Old Hollywood" whose name was supposed class up the production.  In 'The Towering Inferno' that responsibility fell to Fred Astaire...and yeah, they put him in a dancing scene, because after all, he's Fred Astaire for Christ's sakes.  Jennifer Jones, 20 years his junior, was cast as his love interest.  (Side note, this movie was the last one she appeared in after a lengthy career and, surprisingly enough since she takes a nosedive down the skyscraper, she is still alive.)  Then to prove that these disaster movies were hip to the social changes happening at the time, a black athlete, usually someone who fancied himself an actor during his downtime, was given a role and in 'The Towering Inferno' that actor was none other than O. J. Simpson. 

If the disaster movie genre was anything, it was consistent.  There was always some sort of party where VIPs would suddenly find themselves having to hitch up their evening gowns and kick off their high heels in order to straddle something large, jagged, and in danger of exploding at any moment.  BTW, Jennifer Jones did this with panache as she navigated down a stairway that had been destroyed moments before by a broken gas main.  She does this to only later fall 80 stories as she is taking the last elevator to safety.  

That's another thing about disaster movies, someone the audience likes MUST DIE.  It is sort of like that short story 'The Lottery', the death of one beloved character karmatically saves everyone else.  Jennifer Jones as Lisolette saves two children she knows are sleeping alone in their apartment.  The only reason she ended up in the destroyed stairway was because she was a saint of a woman.  Hell, the only reason she was in the elevator, which caused her to plunge to her death, was to comfort the children as they rode down.  

Oh yes, all disaster movies must have an annoying boy accompanied either by an equally annoying older sister or a cute younger sister who comes across as a deaf mute.  In fact in 'The Towering Inferno' I think the girl is supposed to be a deaf mute...I'm not kidding.  I should also take this moment to point out that Mike Lookinland, from Bobby Brady fame, must have been trying to expanded his acting range because he's the annoying kid.  Okay, it wasn't that much of a stretch.  

There is something I'm forgetting...what can it be...oh yup, the sex.  Of course, in these movies the leading men are alpha male meat and the fraggled-haired women they flirt with are putty in their presence.  All of this is hinted at in 'The Towering Inferno' by Paul Newman and Robert Wagner both having bedrooms in what appears to be their office spaces (office spaces as in the secretarial pool are typing just outside their doors).  It may be a cliché, but Robert Wagner is getting it on with his personal secretary and you know what that means...they both are going to burn to death.  

The first hint that they are not long for this world is when they notice something smells like toast, which prompts them to open the office/bordello door to find a raging fire just outside of it.   Wagner, being the take-charge guy he is, immediately calls down for help only to realize that he unplugged the phone so could have sexual congress.  He knows his secretary is watching him (because that is what females do in disaster films, they watch the men lead the action) so he pretends he is talking to someone.  Seriously, she really thinks he has spoken to someone except she doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to put on pants.  Okay, if I was ever in that situation, you know, involved in a sort of illicit affair and thought the authorities were on their way up to save my life, I would start searching for my pants.  Sadly, she remains pants deprived. 

Robert Wagner knowing that no one is coming decides that he is going to go for help now that the fire is worse.  He confesses all to his woman and then wets a towel and assures her that he used to be able to run the 100 yard dash in under 10 seconds.  He pauses by the door, they could kiss but don't, he looks at her as if he knows everything is going to be alright and then he makes his run for it.  As fate has it, he runs for about 50 yards and then burns to death in one of those scenes where they layer the stuntman in a bulky fire protection suit made to resemble a tux as he waves his arms around his head zombie-like.  Wagner's babe on the other hand, watches him go, then something explodes, she catches on fire, which results in her being thrown out the window with no pants.  The irony of the situation, when you think about it, is that no one even knew they were in the office making whoopee, so no one will even notice that the two of them are missing probably for days.  Well, actually they may be able to identify her after the fall and they will probably wonder why she wasn't wearing pants.  

Richard Chamberlain plays the guy that is the opposite of Jennifer Jones' character.  Where the audience is shocked and sadden by her death, they cheer when he meets his end.  Of course, he goes down as the villain who skimped on building materials, daring to disregard Paul Newman's earnest architectural plans.  During the party, which is to celebrate the opening of 'The Glass Tower' (the title of one of the two books the movie is based on) he is even so low as to get drunk and act belligerent.  When he finds out that he may die, he takes matters into his own hands and fights for the right to sit in the lift chair that has been set up between the Glass Towere and another building.  Kicking even weaker men off said chair and to their deaths, he remains the last man on the throne to then only have the cable holding his escape route break.  He dies a coward's death as he falls screaming like a little girl with a broken Hello Kitty doll. 

After all the improbable methods of adventure and escape have played themselves out, it is time to salvage the situation.  Leave it to the combination of Newman and McQueen (who plays a Fire Captain) to save the day.  The two have become reluctant friends because it is obvious to both of them they are John Galt types in their respective fields.  In fact, the movie ends with McQueen lecturing Newman about how architects should come to him for ideas on how to build safer buildings.  Newman responds by saying he wants to know.  In perhaps the most underrated scene, McQueen doesn't share any information (honestly after seeing Jennifer Jones plummet to her death the audience is interested in knowing a suggestion or two) but McQueen only states that Newman needs to call him later.  Oh, and Faye Dunaway gives up everything for her man.  Blah, blah, blah. 

Wait, I forgot to add that Astaire is frantically looking for his Jennifer Jones only to be told that she fell 80 stories and then splat.  To drive the point home, O. J. Simpson hands Astaire the woman's cat, which he had rescued during the fire.  He just plops that cat into Astaire's grieving arms as to say, "Sorry your girlfriend is dead, here's your new pussy." 

'The Towering Inferno' hasn't been on any cable rotation for quite some time.  After 'Airplane' came out in 1980, disaster movie box office domination was over.  Their game was up and really that particular parody was the last nail in their 'falling to their death spectacularly' death.  Besides, 'Star Wars' introduced a whole generation to cool space oddities and more masterful special effects resulting in disaster movies looking cheesy in comparison.  After all, once you see one stunt man walking around on fire, you've seen them all.  

'Die Hard' and its following sequels were disaster films, but they were a new breed, there was a kick butt element that was lacking in traditional disaster films.   The hero was more of an anti-hero, and as an anti-hero, he worked alone.  Then later 9/11 redefined everything and it became hard for the American public to even see images of the Twin Towers from happier days, let alone enjoy some disaster flick of which the towers themselves could have served as inspiration.  Yet, that has been almost a decade ago and time marches on and people start to wax and wane about cinema from decades before.  America is on the brink of great hopeful change and already Hollywood seems to be looking back to a more innocent time.  A time when a cavalcade of stars who were willing to phone in their performances on a back lot soundstage made up to look like a burning building or sinking ship was all a producer needed in order to have a hit on his hands.   So in summary, Irwin Allen may be dead, but his cinematic perils live on.

Westerfield © 2009