I Hate Healthy Food and Exercise (Ramblings of...

Okay, so I made this New Year's Resolution. Right? I am going to exercise. Did I mention that I hate to exercise? I am going to eat healthy. Did I mention that I hate to eat healthy?

But I've been doing it. And let me tell you, it takes everything I've got to get my big butt out of bed to go work out. Imagine waking up to go to the dentist every morning. Well, that's what I feel like I've been doing. It's that bad to me. I keep waiting to like it.

I go to the gym and see these skinny little things in their spandex and sports bras smiling as they sweat, winking at the hunk lifting weights next to them. And I want to throw up. Literally. Because without even looking in a mirror, I can imagine what I look like. Big boobs bouncing, sweating with a look of pain and agony on my face. I fixate on my watch the entire time, thinking...."only ten more minutes...nine...eight........all the way down to 1. And then I pray I will make it until the last minute is up. I stumble from the treadmill and start thinking about doughnuts. I kid you not. That's the way my mind is. Well, dear...you just worked off 300 calories, so let's go eat a big old doughnut." Crazy, huh?

Being married, it never really mattered I was a bit on the fluffy side. My husband actually preferred a woman on the fluffy side, which was his most redeeming quality in my mind. But, now that he is no longer in the picture, and I'm on the market again.......I have to compete with the anorexics of the world.

Seriously, some of these gym babes in spandex who think they are so smokin hot...I just don't see the appeal. I mean, if I had a thing for women (and I don't), I would much rather have some soft curves than this rock hard skeletal figure. But what do I know?

So I'm sitting here drinking my tasteless water and eating oatmeal. YUM. Yes, I know it's healthy and all of that. I keep telling myself that. I keep trying to imagine myself skinny, craving salads, wishing I could work out more.

Its very hard to imagine. I think I will always see myself as a voluptuous babe, no matter how much weight I lose. And truth be told, I actually love myself as I am. But the competition out there is fierce, and a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Hmm.....this oatmeal wouldn't be so bad with some brown sugar in it....or maple syrup....or chocolate chips.....

Comments: 8

Danica R. Jan 11, 2007, 1:59pm EST

Great writing! I find it so sad, though. It's one thing to want to be healthier, but to feel like you have to up your market value? Sad. I can totally relate to the way she feels about working out and eating healthy. Oh, and the little skeletons on the treadmills.

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Terry S. Jan 11, 2007, 4:42pm EST

you know why the little things on the treadmills hang on to the handles... so they won't fly off the darn thing!!

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Cheryl W. Jan 11, 2007, 4:56pm EST

LOL..Terry...do you know I was working out one day, and the poor woman next to me actually flew off of the thing. She was there one second and lying on the floor the next. Thank goodness she was okay. She just hopped back on like nothing happened and kept going...lol

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Cecile V. Jan 11, 2007, 4:58pm EST

I learned one thing when I worked at the YMCA for 13 years as receptionist. I could work out as hard as those other people and eat the same thing they do and still look the way I do, only a bit more toned., and obviously healthier than if I didn't exercise and try to eat right. For the most part the fat people remained fat, the skinny people were naturally skinny. I learned to appreciate my body for what it is and not try to meet Hollywood's and society's idea of what I should look like. I know best what's good for me., and my body type. And most of those darned women were as fake as the boob jobs and tummy tucks they had done, by the way. Not to mention that after their hard work out they all got together and went to get doughnuts.

A tip on the oatmeal I finally found one that I like and sticks with me. It's a bit expensive but it's worth it to eat a healthier breakfast and be full at the same time. It's called The Silver Palate. I always add a little dried cranberries to mine as I'm cooking it and it's quite yummy and more fulfilling than even the steele cut oatmeal brands I've tried.

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