TWO GENTLEMEN FROM FRANCE

Good afternoon gentlemen.  How can I help you?

We would like to purchase two ice cream cones please.

Certainly.  What flavors would you like?

Walnut.  You like walnut, don't you, Nigel?

We're all out of walnut.  But we do have pistachio and pecan.

Piss-tachio and pee-can?  I rather think not.  Why don't you have walnut?  Never mind.  I suppose we have to go to Wal-Mart for that.

I'm sorry, sir.

Then we'll take plain vanilla.  If that's o.k. with you, Nigel.

Fine.

Where are you gentlemen from?

France.

My, you're a long way from home.  Is this your first time in town?

We come here every week . . . on secret government business . . . shhh.  Isn't that right, Nigel?

Not quite, Alphonse.

I notice you don't have a French accent.

Well, we're from the north of France - up near the English border.  We spend a lot of time in England.  Don't we, Nigel?

Not really, Alphonse.

Here's your ice cream, gentlemen.  That'll be three dollars please.

Three dollars?  You can't be serious.  Ice cream cones are supposed to be ten cents.  Nigel, didn't we pay ten cents the last time we were here?

Yes, Alphonse, but that was quite some time ago.

I guess it was.  My how time flies.  Miss, can you change a hundred?

Why, yes, I believe so.

Here you go.

Sir, that's a one dollar bill.

Are you sure?  Nigel, is this a one or a hundred?

It's a one, Alphonse.

Whose portrait is on it?  I can tell by the portrait.

It's George Washington, Alphonse.

Oh!  Then I guess you're right.  Thank heaven you're driving instead of me.  George is dead now, is he not, Nigel?

Yes, he died a long time ago.

Poor chap!  Didn't he die in a plane crash over Las Vegas?

No, Alphonse, that was someone else.

I see.  Well, miss, here's the rest of your money.

Thank you sir.  And have a nice trip back to France.

Come along, Nigel, we must get back.  Our wives will be upset if we're late to dinner.  Where did you park the car, Nigel?

I didn't park the car, Alphonse, you drove in.  You have the key.

So I do, so I do.  You're right, Nigel.  How come you are always right?  Damn, this ice cream is dripping all over the place.  Why did you insist on buying ice cream cones?  They were much too expensive.



Comments and critiques appreciated.