WESTCHESTER, N.Y. With the "Super Tuesday" primaries less than a month away, Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has sequestered herself with top aides here in her suburban New York home with plans to unleash "the mother of all crying jags" between now and Feburary 5th, according to a campaign insider.
Hillary Clinton: "I feel so sorry . . . for myself, and others."
"She's comfortable with crying now that she's seen how it can sway undecided voters in the all-important Oprah-and-Chardonnay demographic," says pollster Norm McComb of the State University of New York-Plattsburgh's Department of Political Science, referring to Clinton's strong showing among female voters in New Hampshire after she broke into tears at a campaign event. "If she knows what's good for her, she'll keep her eyes glued to the Lifetime Channel for the next three weeks."
Clinton Campaign Bunker
The group of senior advisors is all-female, and will be fueled by boxes of dark chocolate, Redbook Magazine and white wine as they watch "Disease of the Week" movies and read novels about women whose husbands die in tragic, unexplained accidents leaving them to fend for themselves after cashing in multi-million dollar life insurance policies. "If we can keep Hillary's eyes and nose red between now and February 5th, she has a chance to run the table," said campaign aide Susan Neff.
"Is there a 'Man Cave' in the basement? Well, sort of . . ."
Sources say Clinton will avoid another staple of the so-called "chick lit/chick flick" genre, namely, stories about women whose husbands are unfaithful. "She reads so much dry policy stuff on the campaign trail," Neff says. "She needs to catch up on her fiction."
Copyright 2008, Con Chapman
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Comments: 9
Something that worries me about this election is that we have a (serious) female candidate that could conceivably win. What a great day for America that a woman couild be President. But what bothers me are all the women who will vote for her only because she is female, and for no other reason. It would be the same as black Americans voting for Barack ONLY because he is black. As election day draws nearer I really hope that voters will vote the issues and the character of the candidate, regardless of WHO it is.
Hillary's people have a crying reservoir backup strategy. Should Hillary at any time appear to be running low on tears, Bill has volunteered to misbehave with some campaign interns to gets the ducts flowing again.
The ex-President was quoted as saying, "It's a dirty job, but someone ..."