LaRouche Seeks Fine on Biden For Not Insulting Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. Perennial fringe candidate Lydon LaRouche today filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission seeking sanctions against Senator Joseph Biden who insulted every other declared presidential contender on the day the Delaware senator announced his own candidacy.

LaRouche: "What am I, chopped liver?"

In remarks recorded by reporters Biden called Senator Barack Obama the "first articulate African-American" to run for president, implying that Shirley Chisholm, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Carol Moseley Braun were inarticulate, and referred sarcastically to Senator Hillary Clinton's plan to reduce troop levels in Iraq as a "great idea". Biden further characterized North Carolina Senator John Edwards as a "pretty-boy ambulance chaser" and called on the Immigration and Naturalization Service to "check Bill Richardson's green card" in an oblique allusion to the New Mexico Governor's Hispanic heritage.

"If there's any candidate I haven't insulted yet, I am deeply sorry."

LaRouche has run for the Democratic nomination in every election cycle since 1980, but without the approval or cooperation of party leadership. He is considered a conspiracy theorist by many, and his platforms regularly include planks that party members criticize as anti-Semitic, anti-gay and antipasto.

Kinnock: "That fellow Biden certainly has a way with words--mine."

Biden, by contrast, is a long-standing member of the Democratic establishment best known for his bad hair-plug job and for plagiarizing speeches given by Neil Kinnock, a British Labour Party politician, during the 1988 race for the party's presidential nomination. "If I am elected Prime Minister, I mean President," Biden said at the time, "it will be because my ancestors learned the value of hard work in the coal mines of Wales, I mean Pennsylvania. Dammit, isn't anybody proofreading this stuff?"

"Wales, Pennsylvania, what's the difference? It's still dark inside."

If LaRouche's challenge is successful, Biden would be required to insult him in a speech to a women's group or trade union, two reliable Democratic constituencies. LaRouche would then be given ten minutes of rebuttal time to respond to Biden and to push his wingnut theories of laser weapons, colonization of Mars, and expansion of the designated hitter rule to the National Football League.