Bloody Diamond

Sick Puppies, a specialty depraved tastes jeweler, is pleased to announce the release of the Blood Diamond brand of engagement diamond rings. Each BD ring has a genuine spot of dried blood on it. Each purchaser gets a certificate attesting the blood is genuine hemoglobin from a victim of exploitive criminal activities in Africa in its mining, theft, or marketing. For a surcharge, SP will guarantee the blood comes from a child. Next time you propose, be sure your fiancée gets a gift that separates her from the ordinary, uncaring crowd. Be different.

Comments: 11

♯ ♪ Dec 11, 2006, 5:05pm EST

Is this serious? This is gross!

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David Rochester Dec 11, 2006, 11:51pm EST

*gasping with laughter*

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Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Dec 11, 2006, 11:53pm EST

The satire is perfect.

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Roxy K. Dec 12, 2006, 5:29pm EST

Will sick puppies guaranteed that the blood shed was just for me?

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Nippy Katz (not his real name) Patriotic Troll of Gather Freedom Dec 12, 2006, 5:48pm EST

How about industrial diamonds? I can't afford diamond jewelry but I use diamond nail files all the time. I'd pay a couple of bucks extra.

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Random Name Dec 12, 2006, 5:53pm EST

Roxanne, Sick Puppies will even shed some blood just for you. You can even specify the desired blood type.

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Random Name Dec 12, 2006, 6:01pm EST

Nippy, in the case of inustrial diamonds, Sick Puppies can not guarantee the use of genuine human blood.

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Roxy K. Dec 13, 2006, 12:12am EST

Does "desired type" also mean "person"?
This cold be quite useful, as well as meaningful--in my gift-giving, that is.

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Random Name Dec 13, 2006, 12:58pm EST

Sure, Roxanne. We try to be the Alice's Restaurant of sick humor--as in you can get anything you want, 'ceptin Alice.

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charles thiesen - gather's only god, proud to be from gay-supporting Massachusetts Dec 16, 2006, 10:05am EST

I bet she'd love it if the blood were certified Leonardo DiCaprio's.

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Random Name Dec 16, 2006, 10:54am EST

I've heard several advertisements on the radio from jewelers advertising diamonds, and describing how pleased your love will be if you purchase a diamond from them for her. I am thinking of writing these companies and asking them how they wash the blood off their diamonds. If I do so, I doubt (1) that they will be amused and I doubt (2) that they reply to me.

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Bloody Diamond

Comments: 11

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