Driving laws, and my response to them.

"It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street as long as a lantern is attached to the front of your car."

I think that driving down a one way street with a lantern on your car is a good way to get you sent to a mental hospital.

"It is illegal to tie a dog to the roof of your car."

A few of these laws fall under the umbrella of "how could someone not think that is illegal?" This is one of them.

"It is illegal in San Francisco to buff or dry your car with used underwear."

Knowing how often you find used underwear on the ground of that city, I am not surprised.

"No unoccupied vehicle may exceed 60 miles per hour."

Now that is some hardcore ghost riding.

"If an elephant is tied to a parking meter, the owner or attendant must deposit money in the meter."

But officer...it was a fucking elephant. I was afraid!

"If you stop for ice cream while driving, be aware that it is considered unlawful to transport an ice cream cone in your back pocket."

How would you even...that's not...you can't...

"You will be ticketed if you drive with a gorilla in the backseat of your car."

What about the front seat?

"It is illegal to cross state lines, regardless if you are walking or driving, with a duck on your head. And, if you're crossing into Wisconsin, the law also applies to chickens."

I want to see a case where this law comes into effect. Sir, you have been found innocent of manslaughter, however you will recieve the maximum punishment for the ducks/chickens on your head.

"In Whitehall, Montana, vehicles are prohibited from driving with ice picks attached to the wheels."

Whitehall, Montana has a big problem with supervillians.

"If convicted of driving while intoxicated, you permanently lose the option of registering for a vanity license plate."

*sniff*

"In Dunn, North Carolina, it is illegal to drive on a sidewalk."

A few of these laws fall under the umbrella of "how could someone not think that is illegal?" This is one of them.

"In Oxford, Ohio, authorities will ticket you if you consecutively drive around the town square more than 100 times."

But officer, I only drove around it 96 times, tops!

"You will be slapped with a Class A traffic violation if you use your car on an Oregon highway to prove your physical endurance."

...what?

"It is illegal to fire a gun at any wild game other than whales from a moving car in Tennessee."

...where are the whales in Tennesse?

and finally, the most inane law yet...

"If you spy a team of approaching horses, you are required by law to pull to the side of the road and cover your car with a blanket or dust cover that has been painted or sewn to blend into the scenery. But, if the horses react skittish to your efforts, you are then required to disassemble your car and hide the parts in the nearby underbrush."

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