On the first day of autumn
She will wonder the long brown lanes
Of all the roads she's known
She will feel clouds fresh as rain.
On the first day of autumn
She will gather all her summer clothing
and store it in the attic
On the first day of autumn she'll
cover herself in
fleece and,
flannel and bright
reddish-brown corduroy
On the first day of autumn she'll
sweep the cobwebs away
On the first day of autumn
She'll brush her
Long red hair;
Bake something in the oven,
To make the chill go away
And later, she'll
brew some
lemon tea
and rich dark hot chocolate
Slowly picking up the steaming cup
She'll sigh asking herself,
"So when did life
Become…this sweet…complete
Could it be, she wonders,
Is this a new stage of bliss?"
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Comments: 9
Dave
Janet, thanks for stopping by. Really enjoyed your comment.
The stanza 2 ritual of putting away the summer clothes and getting out the winter clothes is beautiful, even though it is in an attic. I wish "fleece" and "flannel" were on the same line because of the alliteration it would give the piece, I want those to be next to each other. That list, starting with fleece, ending with corduroy, makes a reader feel warm and comfortable. Lovely.
Couple of things I noticed while reading:
"wonder" vs. "wander" – is this intentional that you chose to make her "wonder" instead of "wander" – it gives it a totally different meaning... either she's wondering at the roads she's known, or she's wandering over them. Slightly confusing, did not know if that is on purpose.
Stanza 2 line 6 - comma at end of line bothers me there - inserts a pause where I didn't really want to stop