Restless
Aching
Rain soothes
Harried thoughts
Steady drops
Distract
Injured pride
Lightning blares
Through empty darkness
To illuminate
Haunted memories
That live here
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by
Breanne I've got sunshine on a cloudy day B.
Member since:
February 27, 2006 Restless Night (Poem)
March 18, 2008 10:38 PM EDT
views: 41
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comments: 6
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Comments: 6
Restless Night has a compact sense of the wet claustrophobic night, where phantoms occupy the space between raindrops. I like your use of the short line here, the alliteration with ´restless´´rain´, and ´drops´ ´distract´, and ´injured´´illuminate´. Above all the synthesis of strong emotional mapping of the past and the ´qualia´or felt perception of the storm itself: ¨Rain soothes, lightning blares¨gives a structure to the torrent of souvenirs from a tempestous archive.
Keep writing, my dear!