I need advice on who to turn to for help right now.
I have taken Chris out of school for the remainder of the year (this week, next week, and the following week). He was sent home today by 9:20 am.
I don't get clear stories on what is happening each time between the school, and Chris. Today, the school said he had some small problems while getting ready to practice for the concert tonight. Well, if it's a small problem, why's he being sent home?
I took a xanax, waited 10 minutes, then left for the school. I took several deep breaths, I wasn't calm, but I felt I could get in, pick him up, and get out without having a nervous breakdown myself.
That didn't happen. I was informed that he was not welcome at the concert that night. I told them it wouldn't matter, he would not be returning to the school. The principal tried to shoo me into his office. I had a breakdown, yelled that the school had no interest in keeping my son there, that they were denying him his education, and that they were brushing off his medical problems as him being a trouble maker.
I told them I had no interest in having my son at the school under those circumstances anymore, and that I would be home schooling him for the rest of the school year.
They refused to let us get his backpack and things from his classroom. Granted, I was yelling a lot, so I'm not shocked, but that still irked me.
I still have to deal with the school on a daily basis, due to Gillian. I'm supposed to help in her class tomorrow, and join them on a field trip on Friday.
I emailed the school when I got home, because frankly, I can be a lot more calm sounding, and articulate in email, than if I'm blubbering, bawling, and screaming at them over the phone. I emailed both teachers, his principal, the school board, and the superintendent.
I told them to email in response, because I demanded a response, but that I will not be accepting phone calls for the reason I stated above.
I told them that while I have no desire to have Chris re-join the school, I do expect him to be entering the 5th grade in the fall at the middle school, and I demanded an IEP with an OHIP to be in place before then. The school board has 30 days to comply with that, regardless of whether he is in the school or not, since he will be starting the school in the fall.
Chris feels threatened at the school. He is regularly picked on and provoked by the students he goes to school with. He is singled out and harassed by the teacher he has in the morning. I pointed that out.
I stressed that if we did not hear from the school within a week, I would be hiring a lawyer, because the school has been denying him of his basic legal right to an education, and has been doing so based on medical problems that Chris has.
I need advice-
For parents who have dealt with this, what do I need to do to first deal with the school, and secondly, to make sure the school is recognizing that he's being homeschooled legally.
For parents who have kids with problems, I need to know who is able to diagnose for the following things:
Bipolar
Tourettes
Fragile-X
Asperger's Disorder
Oppositional Defiance Disorder
I need to get him in and seen as quickly as possible to figure out just what is going on with him. Do I see a medical doctor for any of it? Are there medical tests? Psychiatrist? Point me in the right direction, because it needs to be done.
I stressed to him that I was NOT mad at him today, and that I love him. Right now, I am livid at the school, and I have a feeling they know it.
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I do not know about the legal things, but I do know that genetic testing can be done on Fragile X syndrome, Klinefelters and other similar chromosome issues/syndromes that in fact can cause behavioral and/or learning problems. I am sure your pediatrician can give you a referral in the right direction, as I believe all hospitals have genetic counselors on their staff.
Our experience has been wonderful & I wish we would have done it sooner. Good luck to you. I recommend calling the school and informing him that you will be there to pick up his things at a certain date & time.
First of all your child is entitled to a free appropriate education. If they try and deny him they need to have a valid reason.
Second I am assuming that they had Chris in with a special ed teacher that was some sort of a specialist when it came to BD kids right? Wrong. They never are. Trust me on that.
I have a wealth of information on this. If you need more just let me know.
For furthur reference dont scream and yell when at the school. I know its hard not to but it will not help your child. The staff can come back and say how unreasonable you are.
Stay calm at all times. then go home and beat the shat out of a pillow or whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.
The vitamins & supplements I did on my own. The rest was in response to the school. I feel like if he were a normal child who did something wrong, they would not treat him as they do.
I don't know exactly how to put that into words, so I'll give you an example.
If Chris is talking in his morning class, he is assigned to the focus room (recess time in-school detention).
If another child is talking in class, he is asked to stop, and the class moves on.
I think that the school looks at his medical diagnosis as a reason to punish every little thing he does.
He has problems processing things, and problems dealing with how he reacts to things that happen around him. I have no doubt this is NOT the product of adhd, but something else. His ped was trying to get him into a pediatric neuorologist, but that referral was denied. Now, I need to know who I can turn to.
I'm contacting CAUSE, which is Citizens Alliance to Uphold Special Education. They sometimes do advocate work, and do the talking for you, and make sure you know everything that you are supposed to, because schools withhold information quite often.
He was on an IEP for speech therapy. When he was first put on an IEP, it was for ADHD & Speech Therapy. I don't know when the ADHD was removed from it. I don't recall ever agreeing to have it removed, but schools can sometimes sneak stuff like that in.
I demanded an IEP with an OHIP (Other health imparement) for the 2009/10 school year. The reason being, is that whatever IS wrong with him is interfering with his education. The school took him off his IEP all together just a few weeks ago. I feel they did this because they have more flexibility in not having one in place.
I'm just... I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore.
Chris LOVES school. He loves to learn. This isn't a typical trouble maker who doesn't do his homework, bullies kids, and brings home D's. He's gotten straight A's all school year long.
I am SO sorry you are going through all this.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You DEFINITELY need an IEP and possibly a 504 plan in place, BEFORE he returns next year.
(frow how it was explained to me, since my children have a "mental illness" and not a "physically limiting" one, such as wheelchair, blindness, etc. that a 504 plan was the way to go)
I was also told that in order for the school to HAVE TO take it seriously it must be diagnosed by a MEDICAL DOCTOR or a Psychiatrist. An MSW or social worker can not legally diagnose.
I hope you get this all straightened out FAST.
I guess I should consider myself lucky that, with the exception of one principal, the schools have always worked WITH us instead of against us, as it sounds like your schools are doing.
Just remember, this is NOT forever. (I have to tell myself that every single day.)
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I urge you to read the rights you have under the federal Special Education laws. I think you can probably get this online.
I know you can get it at the school.
This sounds so much like my life years ago.
I learned from the school of hard knocks I would love to save you some of the pain I went thru so if you need ANYTHING just let me know I was where you are.
Before you do anything else though, you should Definitely buy yourself a favorite piece of chocolate or similar serotonin enhancer to help you combat the stress on your own plate. Do Not forget or dismiss your own needs because the calmer and more balanced you are, the better able you are to help your child and family in the right direction. Take the time for yourself so that you can be there for your loved ones, because dealing with any beauracracy is incredibly stressful but especially so when your child is involved. I think you are already heading in the right direction and there are a LOT of resources available for homeschooling now that weren't there 10 years ago.
wishing you success and laughter, dearheart
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I talked with our insurance provider for a bit, and got through to a child advocate for mental health. She gave me numbers to call. The insurance does not require a referral for the evaluation. Now, finding one to do it was harder. The numbers all came directly from our insurance providers, but the first one was a community mental health place that does not take commercial insurance. It only does it on an income based need.
The second number was out of order. The third didn't accept new paitents. The 4th does, but it'll be 4 weeks before I hear back from them with an appointment time.
I stuck with them for now, since Chris is going to be home for the remainder of the year anyway.
www.mi.easterseals.com
i would try contacting the above places. hopefully they will be of some help. i know the ones in oregon have been helpful for me with ryan
He might need a 100% love and understanding and he is not getting it in school.
I dont know why the teachers are so neglecting. There seem to be no ,more compassionate teachers in the schools any more.
I hope you get the help you are seeking and i will be praying for you too.
We should also be able to get in-home counseling for him.
I hope something works for you guys, and fast.
There is usually paperwork that needs to be filled out for homeschooling. And I know here, you have to fill out monthly attendance forms and send them in. You need to find out EXACTLY how many days Chris attended school so far. His total for the year needs to be at least 180...between regular school and homeschooling. You may be able to demand the school send out a tutor for Chris, since he isn't getting the proper education at the school.
Most of all, you'll have to keep your cool.....try not to explode. And trust me, that is HARD. I've thrown my share of fits (luckily not at the school) about Angela's education. Her 2nd grade year was an utter waste of time...
You have all of us to vent to...and we'll support you.
http://www.hslda.org/hs/state/MI/default.asp
I don't know if this will be useful to you but I thought I would put it here just in case.
L.E.A.H.
christian based
go join some yahoo groups that are all home school,
IN NY we have child advocates
see if you have that there
you need a IEP and a official DX
you need to get a book and write down Every phone call, every date and time and name and out come
save any email
dont leave any meeting with out a copy of the reports and minutes
Matthew Murphy mentioned what I was going to say about the homeschooling question though. The HSLDA website will get you started in the right direction as far as an overview of what your state requires for notification, attendance requirements, record keeping, etc...some states also are required to give extra help to homeschoolers with learning/medical disorders, so check out your states official laws
So sorry for what you and Chris are going through. I have ADD as do all my children, and I have treated thousands of people with it for the past ten years. In my opinion, this school is taking the easy way out. It's relatively simple to talk about bad habits and label someone. I'll never understand how classifying common human problems as "bad habits" is supposed to allow people to function at a higher level. It's better to start with the concept that people want to be "good," and if they're not doing just that, there's a reason, and we should try to help discover just what that reason is. In my own practice, I am not opposed to medication, but it also might do your son some good if you look into trance, meditation, and other types of brain training.
I have Kolten on a <b>FREE</b> public homeschooling program and it is awesome. They send you a computer and printer along with all of his books, workbooks, art supplies, EVERYTHING, and the lessons are online. It's been an awesome program for us, and he is thriving. Let me know if you want the info and I'll hook you up. They are currently doing registration now. Also the kids to work at their own pace......and they still get to interact with other kids just under much more kinder circumstances. I think Chris would probably excel in a program like this.
My friend Melissa is going through a similar situation here in FL. Here is what she said to tell you:
"
You might try the Michigan Autism Society because even if he's NOT on the Spectrum the same people do the testing to see what his final dx is... and you want to be sure that they are not IGNORANT regarding Autism because that has resulted in late diagnoses and misdiagnoses for so many people you don't even want to know.
Heather, if your child has ADHD, the school CANNOT discriminate against him based on behaviors related to the diagnosis. Does he have an IEP? If not, then you should start things rolling on it by bringing in the diagnosis, your documentation of their issues with your son, and ask for them to set a date for a meeting. Bring a parent advocate with you (the sites below can help you learn your and your child's rights, and locate volunteer, or professional, Michigan advocates, depending on what you determine you want to do).
Even when homeschooling, the public schools still must provide therapy providers, Resource instruction, etc. depending on your child's individual needs. Schools don't like to, because they have to provide them to home and private school students but don't get any funding unless the child is enrolled as a public school student. Because those services are costly, they will resist and push for you to enroll him unless they know that you know your rights.
I would recommend the following sites to help you further with dealing with the schools:
http://www.causeonline.org/
http://www.wrightslaw.com/
http://mi.easterseals.com/site/PageServer?pagename=MISE_Support_Resources
http://www.michiganlegalaid.org/library_client/resource.2005-09-14.0775552668/html_view
http://www.childrensdisabilities.info/