What I've Learned Since Becoming a Mom

I would be lying if I said that this would be the first time I have been celebrated on Mother's Day.  Since my nephews only have my mother and me and their "mothers," I've enjoyed being part of their Mother's Day for the past several years.  Last year, as I neared the end of my pregnancy, I was also celebrated as a "mother-to-be." 

However, this will be the first year I will celebrate Mother's Day with someone who, for lack of a better phrase, has sprung from my loins. 

 To celebrate my own way, I am sharing the bits of wisdom I've learned about life since becoming a mother 11 months ago.

1) My life, as I knew it, is GONE.  This is something that I was told when I got pregnant, so I understood this concept on a theoretical level.  The thing is, nothing really prepared me for the magnitude of this change.  Every trip out of the house takes great planning.  There is no such thing as disposable income, only disposable diapers.  Showers are less frequent, manicures nonexistent. The only time I have to myself is when my daughter is napping (if she naps at all) and that time is usually spent on household duties.  

 2) Roll with the punches.  Few things in life end up happening the way we imagined them or even planned them.  As a mother, this lesson was learned the day my daughter was born.  Labor was induced at 37 weeks after a two week hospital stay for pre-eclampsia (wasn't counting on that).  All through the pregnancy, I said I didn't want to have a c-section. Of course, after 39 hours of labor, my baby's heart rate couldn't tolerate the pushing, so I had to have an emergency c-section.  I didn't meet Madeline the way I did in my daydreams, but seeing that healthy baby melted that disappointment pretty quickly.

 3) People are a lot less interested in me than they are in my baby.  When I was pregnant, I got lots of attention and TLC.  Since Madeline was born, it's mostly about her. This is fine...she's still new here and needs to feel welcome.  Funny thing is, I'm less interested in me that I am in my baby,  but that's the way it should be, at least for now.

4)  I look at world events and crises in terms of how they will affect my daughter.  Funding for education matters a whole lot more to me now that I will have a child in the school system.  Every missing or suffering child I see on the news could have been my child.  How could I not care about global warming, the federal deficit, health care, or the ongoing quest for peace when I brought my daughter into this world to deal with these issues?  

5)  No matter what happens, my husband and I are bonded forever.   We were married a long time (8 1/2 years) before we had our baby. Madeline is part me, part Brad.  She has deepened our commitment to and love for each other. As parents we will share her first steps, her school plays, her graduations, her wedding, her children. I could never look at her without being grateful to him for helping me bring this specific child into this world. If I had married someone else, I wouldn't have Madeline.

6) While I appreciated my mother's wisdom, I never understood how smart she really is.  I may not do everything with my daughter the way my mother did it with me, but I do take her suggestions into consideration.  I also ask for lots of advice because after all, she's been through it all before.  More importantly, I hope that my relationship with my daughter is as close as the one I share with my mother.  But if it's not for some reason, I'll have to defer to lesson #1: Roll with the punches.

I'm sure I'm not through learning the lessons and by next Mother's Day, my encyclopedia of knowledge will have expanded immensely.

These have been the best 11 months of my life. Happy Mother's Day.